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New kids and siblings forum

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hmmmm....

Another issue for those of you who have children, or may be thinking about having children :-D

How do we/I tell the kids or show them?
Do we carry on like its normal and let them grow up around it?
What if they get teased at school because daddy wears high heels?
Do we hide it until they grow up and are old enough to understand?
I bet you have probably had more questions than this, or maybe end up with more questions than answers?

Well, lets hear it and share your thoughts/experiences with the rest of us and maybe we can all learn something fom it :)

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Wouldnt mind some advice here as mine is 3 and a hlf and starting to like mummys heels, dont quite know what way to take the heel wearing.

let me know what happened to you please!

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First I would like to say hi to all. I have just recently joined this forum.

For Nigel, can I assume that you are not a heel wearer yourself?

I have been a heel wearer since about 7 years old when my sisters friend asked me to wear hers...thats when it all started.

Anyway it's a long story and I won't go into it now, but I'm married and my wife knew about my heeling way before we were married and at that time she was cool with it. Then 6 years ago my son arrives and everything was forced to stop. (Still in secret though:wink: ).

Just a few weeks ago my wife caught him wearing a pair of her shoes. She freaked out and made comments like, "Jesus it must run in the family".

I think that it's just a natural curiosity that kidds have. Some however, like most in this forum don't stop. I wouldn't worry too much about it. It could be just a phase he's going through. If it's not, then it's no big deal.

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I was reading a story a few months ago about some studies of cross dressing and men wearing heels. They all concluded that 15-20% of men like to wear women's clothing or shoes. The part I found interesting was, almost all little boys go through a phase where they want to experiment with women's clothing and/or shoes. Little girls have the same phase but it is considered normal for a girl to do and wear 'boy' things. This leads to one of two outcomes. The parents allow it to happen, after which most grow out of the phase, or they put a stop to it. "Little boys don't wear high heels" they are told. The study showed that while some in both groups went on the do it in adulthood, a higher percentage of the boys stopped from experimenting began again as a teen or adult. It was a substantial increase.

Wish I could find it again. Google has too many hits on heels, men and such.

CJ

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Maybe the parenting "Taboo" is what drives the guys to investigate further or experiment more?

If your told "Dont whatever happens push the red button", how long will it be before your just dying to push the red button?

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Maybe the parenting "Taboo" is what drives the guys to investigate further or experiment more?

If your told "Dont whatever happens push the red button", how long will it be before your just dying to push the red button?

I think that's a good analogy, the more we're told no, the more inviting something becomes. It was the whole "heels are taboo for men" thing which made it more exciting for me to begin with.

As for kids, my daughter at 13 would only wear "boys" clothes but a year on she is very girly. We never stopped her from wearing the clothes, she decided herself to wear more feminine things.

Can't comment on boys wearing heels though as I have 3 daughters.

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Can't comment on boys wearing heels though as I have 3 daughters.

And do they know anything about their dad's choice of footwear?

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I think the oldest one has an idea about it, but it's not in the open so no discussion. The middle one has commented on it when I wore the shoes my wife gave me as she no longer wore them and they have a 2" wedge kind of heel.

The youngest spotted my heels under the bed, and assumed they were mummy's old "clip clops" that she didn't wear any more, my wife just agreed that they were.

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I have never hid my heels from my children. They have known since they were very young. One is totally fine with it but the step daughter, her redneck hubby and kids are not. At least since they seen us out in public by accident. Step daughter is worried about what the other boys will say if they see their grandpa wearing heels. I tried to teach my kids to except people for who they are, not what they wear. Figured it would be handed down to their kids. Guess not with this one. Once you marry a redneck, always a red neck. There loss.

Other than that ,I have ran into many co workers and there kids around town and they do not have a problem with it at all. Kids ask why is that man wearing girl shoes and the parents answer, Thats John, I work with him and he just like high heels better than mens shoes. Seems to be the right answer because so far all the kids agree. Guy shoes are ugly.

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Maybe the parenting "Taboo" is what drives the guys to investigate further or experiment more?

If your told "Dont whatever happens push the red button", how long will it be before your just dying to push the red button?

I would push the red button as soon as they turned their backs.:wink:

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Another thread which may need some reviving now we have some new blood in the forums.

So what do you have to tell us guys?

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I'd like my stepdaughters to know too, but two of them would definitely see it as a weapon for use in any trivial disagreement, and the 3rd would probably be out and about telling everyone within seconds, not out of malice but just sheer gossip.

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I'd like my stepdaughters to know too, but two of them would definitely see it as a weapon for use in any trivial disagreement,

That might be the bulk of the reason at my end too. She often shows signs of being as ar$ey as her grandmother .... (My mother.) :huh:

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My step daughters both know and I've worn heels out with them both on odd occassions. The youngest one has worn a pair of my heels on 2 occassions that I can remember

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Conversely, my step-daughter has a pair of boots she bought when newly single, that she doesn't currently wear, and I would like to re-home. ;) She's not short, and her current boyfriend isn't tall enough for her to wear a heel while she's with him. Hence the boots gathering dust.

I had thought to offer her some of my "to dispose of" footwear, but in doing so, there might need to be a discussion of how they came to be offered. I'm shameless, but Mrs Freddy isn't, especially to her family. I've been told; 'in time', but I don't suppose she means anytime soon. :huh:

I think you are very lucky to have approval/acceptance from your family. I bet many here would love to be in your position. B)

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Recently - a week ago .... No.1 grandson saw the picture/wallpaper on my clever phone. (Which is basically me wearing shiny leggings and fairly high heel courts.) He asked me if I used that picture because of the leggings or the heels. I said "The heels".

There are two things that struck me as slightly unusual about this. Firstly, that he would ask about the picture. I know I (inadvertently) have been known to cross or walk-the-line of acceptable social norms. (I wear high heels in public don't I?) I am not shy, in usual sense of the word either. No.2 grandson shares some of my family DNA, and I see of lot of me in him.... He's not know for his shyness then.... No one else I know that's seen that picture, has asked after it.

Secondly, that he would know  -or even might know- there was a separation in aesthetic pleasure in the leggings, and the heels. It was either/or, not both. I also doubt he was surprised by the answer since there were no further queries. (Did I merely confirm something he thought?) When/if I get a chance, I will make further -hopefully subtle- enquiries. He already has a size 7 feet, so any interest he might have in heels for himself is likely going to be short-lived, given he may end up with a size 10 foot. His current physical characteristics favour some sort of freestyle cross-dressing, but I am being a responsible influence, by avoiding ANY influence in either direction. If this seems a bit like potentially 'overlaying' my own history (as is the want of some 'pushy' parents trying to re-live their own youth) let me assure readers, I have/am/will going the extra mile to ensure that doesn't happen.

Time will tell. :mellow:

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How old are the grandsons, Freddy?   And does either of them actually know of (or suspect) your 'wearing activity/interest'?

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11 hours ago, Puffer said:

How old are the grandsons, Freddy?   And does either of them actually know of (or suspect) your 'wearing activity/interest'?

There is only the one, and he's 13. Lovely boy. We hope he stays that way....

He would certainly know about the 'heels' and Mrs Freddy. There was a time when her family and friends expected her to appear in very high heels every time they met her. (I may have had some influence there...) Been a little while since that was the case, but her shoe collection is still 'Legend'. While my heels are not left out for him (or anyone else) to stumble over, an inquisitive person (he is) might not have found it too difficult to find the rack with my shoes and boots on. If he had suspicions, he might ask. Since he hasn't asked, I have to assume he doesn't 'know'. I'd like to tell him, but it might create some 'influence' (normalisation) and that could draw him down a route he might otherwise not take. 

My concern, is this: If he knows men wear heels, he will try them on (his mothers.) If on trying them he both likes/enjoys them, that will never change. (Experience tells me.) That could in turn, lead him along the same line of 'interest' I have had for the wrong side of 50 years. I found a way to make it a pleasure for me for all that time, but it was a challenge to make it a pleasure. I was brought up in challenging times, so it wasn't something I felt was a hardship, as with everything else, you just 'got on with it'.

Our current youth don't have this sort of environment (school of hard knocks) to toughen them up to the challenges they will experience in their lives. They are (frankly) soft of mind and body compared to those of the late 50's and 60's. Back then, people were still going hungry. Still struggling to own a car. Using a phone meant walking to a street corner to use a public phone. Televisions were often rented not owned. Dirty work often killed parents prematurely.

So my concern is: My influence might lead a 'soft' (malleable) mind toward a path they ultimately struggle to cope with. If it (the mind) gets there without influence, then 'fate' (or DNA) is responsible, not me. If it (the mind) does get there, I can offer support and experience, provided either would be welcome. (As with all young people, they all know everything, so are usually unwilling to take guidance.) 

Why am I so sure this situation is a prospect? He is considered to be quite a 'genteel' lad. Not interested in sport because he is tall and slight, lacking 'strength' but is a very bright lad. Has more girlfriends than 'mates', though he does have mates too. In many respects, he has quite a worldly head on his shoulders. He has the intellect to cope with unusual situations, but I don't know he (yet) has (or will ever have) the strength of character to walk away from temptation ~ even when knowing there could be a precipice somewhere along the route. Coming full circle, my own experience suggests that's a challenge my family are not well equipped to deal with. I might have been in my mid-thirties before I realised I could be my own person. That's too late for some.  

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12 hours ago, FastFreddy2 said:

There is only the one, and he's 13. Lovely boy. We hope he stays that way....

In your previous post, you referred to No. 1 grandson and (later) No. 2 grandson.   Presumably the latter was a typo!  

I only have one grandson (so far) and he is 15 months!   So, a little young to be interested in shoes of any type, but his mum does have a few pairs of heels so he may grow up in the right way ...!   His dad (my son) is not so inclined and as, like me, he is a UK11 or 12, he has a disadvantage there anyway.

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I'm trying to find an acceptable way to show my heels to my younger son (25) and his girlfriend. She's lovely and almost bound to accept them. I intend wearing my cowboy boots with 3.75 inch heels on Friday to meet up with them - and her mother! I've worn my concealed heels before, but that's just what they are - concealed. She might have noticed them and recognised them for what they are, but she didn't say anything. I have a dialogue with my wife at the moment who wants me to get rid of anything I wouldn't wear when family and church friends are around, so...

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12 hours ago, Puffer said:

In your previous post, you referred to No. 1 grandson and (later) No. 2 grandson.   Presumably the latter was a typo!  

 

A typo yes. :(

There is potentially a grand daughter, the offspring from what could be an estranged son, but I could produce a TV drama series over that story .... :angry:

Sounds like I am exaggerating a little perhaps? No, unfortunately. "The truth" is almost unbelievable, and the drama too wild even for the scriptwriters of Eastenders (and their story lines run along the farcical.) I suppose I should commit the story to paper sometime, so it's not lost forever.....  

 

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