Leaderboard

One big advantage of being a 'jack-of-all-trades' (and, one hopes, master of most), is that there is little loss of time or momentum on a major job which involves at least some work from a variety of trades, e.g. the plumbing, electrics, plastering, tiling and carpentry etc that would all typically be required when refitting a kitchen. I can, and often do, change hats several times during a day and my 'customer' does not need to engage, and wait around for, a whole series of tradesmen who, however skilled, will never all turn up when booked and inevitably both disrupt the programme and potentially cause problems for each other by either leaving something vital not done or jumping the gun instead of waiting for another task to be completed first. Unfortunately, wives and sweethearts usually fail to appreciate that efficient multi-tasking also requires a multiplicity of tools and materials to be on site simultaneously ...

In a perfect world, us husbands/partners would not need "DIY" skills. We'd contact reputable tradesmen who would do a quality job at reasonable cost, and everyone would be happy. That's not how it works. My first experience with "Trades" while a tenant started thus: In the early 80's after waiting 7 years on a council list, I got offered a flat. I accepted, since I was approaching my thirties and my girlfriend was keen for us to live together (though I didn't know that at the time). The place wasn't very nice, but it had potential. By the time I left, the place had been completely refurbished to a high decorative standard, not all done by me. I had a decorator mate who sorted out the ceiling (with paper) after I had dislodged the last of the polystyrene tiles from EVERY ceiling in the house. During the course of the initial repairs, I'd asked the council for money toward the cost of all the gap filling in the plasterwork. I felt it unreasonable to have to do all these repairs (due to warm air central heating) as much of the plasterwork had blown. They offer to send around a "plasterer" instead, which I accepted. A week before he arrived, I had bought a brand new cooker. At the time, it was a tad more than a weeks wages. Basic gas oven with four hobs and waist level grill. The plasterer filled holes with bonding to the surface. As Puffer will know, this stuff is a filler, used to produce the right position for a top coat of fine powder "finish" that can be polished to produce the nice smooth wall people paint. It was a bodge. Worse, the useless twat with a trowel, dropped something on my new cooker, and knocked a penny sized chip out of the enamel on my new cooker. When I found it, I reported it to the council seeking restitution. The twat denied involvement claiming it was there already. I didn't get a penny. When I sold the cooker some years later, it didn't look much like it had been used. The buyers couldn't believe the condition, given it's age. (Not much has changed. Our new cooker of 6½ years, still sits in the house unwrapped.) That was my very first encounter with 'trades', and experience has taught me, not much changes. I regularly see stuff, fully trained (apprenticed) trades have bodged, or left unfinished. While this doesn't mean everyone, I would say 90% of trades do only what they are paid for, as easily to them and as quickly to them as possible. No more, and if possible, they do less. ie. Someone local to me had a leaking gutter. Young fella "guaranteed" work, "fixed" the gutter leak using some roof repair mastic. A bit like black sand filled rubber. Except it didn't stick or at least didn't stay stuck. £90. It was never more than a £20 job, and even at £30, the expensive stuff that should have been used - if properly applied - should have ensured there were no further leaks. Some plumber who visited the same house since, has fitted some taps. One leaks. I think the homeowner is waiting for him to return to fix it. Less recently I painted a garage conversion. Two trades failed to correctly fill a plasterboard join, meaning I was left a crack in a newly plastered wall to correct. Both of these trades paid significantly more than me. The joiner did not fill the board gap, the plasterer plastered over the gap. Gaps allow movement, movement creates cracks. I had to dig out out plaster, fill gap, tape over joint (again) and create a smooth surface for me to paint. While my work remains intact, I hear other cracks have appeared since. And this is for a "regular" customer of the tradesmen who gets them work with other people. Two years ago I spotted a bricklayer doing some work across the road from me. Looked like a good job. (It turns out it was for his brother.) I got him to do some work for me. He turned up in the dark ..... Broke bricks I offered to cut (neatly) for him ..... Next day in daylight, I could see what a mess he had left. Last brick sits proud, and his broken bricks barely had enough material left to hold the brick above. I supplied the bricks, cost me £50 for a bad job. Did he get any more work from me? Take a guess. I spent nearly 3 hours filling the gaps he had left in the mortar. Bodger. We used to call then "chancers". The building game is full of them. I suppose, what people don't know, won't hurt them. But when you know the difference between a good job and a bad one, it hurts to see the work of people who do know better. But to womenfolk in particular, they just want stuff fixed, and quickly. My walking friend got a bedroom redecorated recently. She got fed up waiting for me to do two other small rooms (that had years of bodging to resolve before I could start putting paint on walls) so she got "a friend" in. He did the job quickly, in some ways. 4½ days at £100 per day - cash. The (supplied) blind he fitted, never worked and he should have known that when he fitted it. (Same fault with the replacement - which resulted in a refund for the blind.) The skirting board he painted has so much muck in it, feels like sandpaper. The papered edges around the window have come a little unglued. These were not cut off or re-glued, just painted. The uPVC sill (cill) that overlays the old tiles, not cut wide enough and excessive filler used to make up the gap. When it came to refitting the replacement blind (that was subsequently found to be faulty as was the first) he wanted half a days money for fettling work necessary on the replacement. Fettling that would not be necessary if he had removed the lump of plaster making the window rebate gap 3mm too short on width. On balance, she now knows she 'caught a cold' on hiring this fella. Of course women all know a "wonderful bloke" who did great work at a friends. I pointed one at a job once ... I still get earache about it, 4 years later. I don't do "DIY" in the normal sense of it, nor does Puffer. We are amateur builders, or property developers. Some of my tools are the best on the market. Some of them get a lot of use. Today I will be drilling over 100 4 inch deep holes repairing cracked walls built 40+ years ago. Usually these would be skimmed over by a plasterer, and in need of repair again in 2 years. I doubt my repairs will need re-doing while I still live. I fill the gaps in bickwork and mortar joins to ensure they can't move again. Takes time, makes a mess, but means it gets done once.

She's 5'3" tall. Not tiny, but not statuesque either. Average height for a British woman is said to be around 5'4" She certainly walks very fluidly in heels. I saw a few minutes of the concert. It struck a good note of defiance, even if it did seem a bit like a group hug at times.

Back to the more wholesome and relevant subject if heels - my, weren't hers high? And doesn't she walk beautifully in them?