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I won't make fun of your past hardships, Freddy, am am pleased that you (and Mrs F) have survived and flourished. But I did wonder whether we were going on to hear about one of you eating a bowl of warm gravel for breakfast and getting up at 3am to walk 50 miles to work ...

My formative years were very dull and unremarkable, even compared to the modest (s)exploits reported above. My family was solid, respectable, middle-class, suburban (dad a fairly senior civil servant with a very old-fashioned and cautious outlook). Having left grammar school in 1966 - no university as I doubted my ability to progress along a similar academic road - I entered a respectable but unexciting profession. My onward route was predictable: studies; exams; qualification (after 5 years); career advancement; house move; first marriage; children ... you get the picture. Alas, I was too young to participate much in the 'rock-and-roll' era (stiletto heels and beehives; winklepickers and leather jackets etc) which I admired from afar, and was not at all comfortable with the flower-power/hippy movement that followed (mini skirts and knee boots; flared trousers and platform shoes), or the long hair and make-up (both sexes) that then developed. Apart from anything else, none of that would have sat well with my career (or my somewhat boring and largely solitary hobbies). I have always been something of a puritan: a very modest drinker, non-sportsman, non-thrill-seeker, who has kept well away from raucous parties or other excesses and the drink/drugs/casual sex that inevitably went with them. Altogether a conventional, respectable, somewhat boring existence. Frankly, I doubt that I would have chosen much of a different life if I had my time over again in the same era - except that I would almost certainly not have entered the same profession, which I did largely escape from in my mid-thirties, when my life did change somewhat, ultimately ending in separation/divorce/remarriage/new home. Even now, I find it difficult to decide what my ideal and achievable lifestyle would have been (or would be now) as I am too serious/responsible an individual to simply drop-out, do my own thing and hope to find contentment. Of course, because I am a member here shows that I do have other (largely unfulfilled) mildly enjoyable interests and desires - but nothing to suggest that I could or should lead a markedly different life in the modest span that probably remains. Regrets? I have a few ...

Yes, you are right; that is very much my view - and (if I think about it) one I have held since childhood. But I claim no deep interest in or knowledge of 'fashion', have never attempted in practice to be 'trendy' (let alone a trendsetter) and was certainly too timid to be adventurous in my clothing. My background and activity was far too conservative to consider anything daring or unconventional, especially as my height would never allow me to remain inconspicuous. As I grew (much) older and (much) wiser, I realised that I could push the boundaries a little without embarrassment all round. Five years or so ago I bought my first pair of (men's) cuban heels - and felt very daring and a bit silly wearing them outside; the sky didn't fall in ... If I was young again: yes, I probably would be more daring (feeling as I now do) and certainly if it was the 1970s when men had a lot more latitude - not that I liked, then or now, most of what they wore - too gaudy and fussy all round; I am fundamentally a plain dresser and most of the looks I like on women fall into that category too.

Although not a mandatory ingredient to it, I have always thought curiosity to be a sign of intelligence in humans. I add the caveat because curiosity in cats is most definitely not a sign of intelligence - in my experience. Although I assume much in saying so, your comments read as to a similar line of thinking to myself, in that you have an interest in styles for yourself that are not overtly feminine but SHOULD pass as androgynous. The 'styles' are those that you would find attractive to wear, given a free hand (that none of us feel we have)? My immediate thought after reading your post was, if only we were young enough to 'get away with being fashion frontiersmen' trying to breakdown the barriers of our rather conservative dress codes .... But then we live in fairly conservative times? Even if we were young enough to be seen as 'fashion victims', rather than 'old queens', would we dare? As I've already said, my means to an end to wearing a heel (with the exception of two outings - I will mention later) was to go out en femme and to blend in to 'the scene' where dressing up wasn't unusual, and even desirable. It never once occurred to me, to do as I do now, and that's to wear a heel in public during normal activity. And it might have been at a time (and I repeat myself again) during the early 80's when it might not have raised as many eyebrows as it might today? I would think the late 60's early 70's was another good time, as men grew really long hair and started wearing tight tops and flared trousers. I'm left wondering what it takes, to have the mindset of a fashion frontiersman? In my limited experience, having the basic physical qualities required** and the strength of mind to use it, don't often seem to be available in the same decade? ** Good overall shape ~ tall and slim. No paunch, good head of hair. Smooth skin. In summary, young!

That's a pity. With a zip they should be very well fitted. An increasing number of people have large calves - and larger bodies in general - so what would be seen to fit a standard leg these days might be fairly large...