shyguy Posted May 9, 2009 Report Share Posted May 9, 2009 I wonder if we can get some of the wives/girlfriends to air their views here for us. Those with concerns could maybe hear the views of the supportive S/O's and maybe help smooth the way. I realise this may not help some of the WAGs change their minds but it may help them to know they are not the only woman with a male heel wearer in the household. Any thoughts, ideas, or is it a plain dumb idea? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HFMROK Posted May 11, 2009 Report Share Posted May 11, 2009 Sadly my SO would not do that. Although she has no problem with my YSL "Johnny" boots or my Archie Eyebrow "Lenny" boots, (both with 7cm heels) she does have a problem with a pair of NEXT ankle boots that have a 9cm heel. Whilst she considers the NEXT boots to be quite masculine in design and something that she would never entertain 'cos they are "dyke" shoes to her mind, they are still made and marketed to women and so men should not wear them. She would be most vociferous on this aspect if she did ever get onto this or HHP board. She is no radical, just a regular girl. As an ex-nursing sister, she has an extreemly broad mind, but clothing is a gender specific thing and when it crosses, it is a bedroom thing. Simon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FastFreddy2 Posted May 11, 2009 Report Share Posted May 11, 2009 Rather frustratingly, I've just spent 2 hours editing something I started 2 days ago, only to find on "send" the RJ45 plug had left my computer. All work lost.... Maybe when I calm down a bit, I'll recompose the whole thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobHH Posted May 12, 2009 Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 HFMROK: But what is it when the females wear men's clothing? Pants, shirts, suits, flat shoes, tuxes? Certainly not a bedroom thing then? Seems sort of one-sided. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy Posted May 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 HFMROK: It would still be interesting to hear your S/O's views negative or positive. I am going to see if my wife wants to air some views on here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JMC Posted June 6, 2009 Report Share Posted June 6, 2009 Rather frustratingly, I've just spent 2 hours editing something I started 2 days ago, only to find on "send" the RJ45 plug had left my computer. All work lost.... Maybe when I calm down a bit, I'll recompose the whole thing. :grin: But the re-composition is never as good as the original. I've been there myself. Suggestion: If it is going to be a long piece, copy and paste the text into a text editor (like Wordpad if you use Windows or Kate if you use Linux with KDE) and save it as a local file. You can compose offline then copy and paste it back into the edit window when you want to post it. Do you suppose we could have our wives / girlfriends air their views here through us? Meaning we could draw out their views in conversations and then discuss them here among ourselves? (Of course, this is easy for me to think about -- being basically "unattached".) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FastFreddy2 Posted June 6, 2009 Report Share Posted June 6, 2009 But the re-composition is never as good as the original. I've been there myself. Suggestion: If it is going to be a long piece, copy and paste the text into a text editor (like Wordpad if you use Windows or Kate if you use Linux with KDE) and save it as a local file. You can compose offline then copy and paste it back into the edit window when you want to post it. Aaaah, 20/20 hindsight is a wonderful thing. :cool: I had cut 'n' paste some of the content to Notepad, but then changed the whole bias of the post. I perhaps need to re-write it, and share Mrs Freddy's remarks. :grin: ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobHH Posted June 8, 2009 Report Share Posted June 8, 2009 My wife (lost her 7 3/4 years ago) and one girl friend since had no problem with the heels, and were fine if I wanted to wear them out to wherever, but did not want to participate in gatherings or meetings of people for the purposes of high heels. Not much in the way of girl friends now, unfortunately. One young one I see every week or so has no idea and would probably not be favorably impressed. Her standard mode of dress seems to be jeans and a tank top, with running shoes (trainers) most of the time. She wears no makeup except mascara and eye shadow for formal events, and no heels except for dance shoes (about 3 in. max maybe). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FastFreddy2 Posted June 10, 2009 Report Share Posted June 10, 2009 (edited) Version II. Just got herself to read 'The Idea'. First response wasn't great. I was again (verbally) reminded I'm not perfect, and my liking heels is another thing [in addition to everything else that makes me less than perfect], which makes our relationship something of a struggle for her sometimes. It's important to understand what I'm saying. Preamble: Lets propose I'm untidy, and lazy. Me being untidy and lazy, might be fully acceptable in my relationship. Maybe not attractive, but acceptable. Lets propose, I'm untidy and like heels. Me being untidy, and liking heels, might be fully acceptable in my relationship. Maybe not attractive, but acceptable. Lets propose I'm untidy, lazy, and like wearing heels. This could or would probably be either getting to, at, or past a breaking point.... The problem in this scenario, isn't an interest in heels, it's the on-going balance of demand (mine) and supply (hers) ... of 'goodwill' in the relationship and the latitude I need to enjoy my interest. Like any enthusiastic sports supporter, I'd like to wear my team colours all the time and I'd imagine that would be a little wearing to any partner. So there are a least a couple of other contributory ingredients that might make up a full response to The Idea? @shyguy: Mrs Freddy (who you've met) initially replied after reading the first post of the thread; "You either accept it or you don't. The amount of shoes you have [i have] and the amount of time you spent buying them last year, was hard to deal with, especially on top of everything else we had to cope with ... " In the light of the preamble, her response is fully understandable. Further, I've had it suggested to me, if I get the house 'sorted' (aka modernised and decorated), I might even get some shoes bought for me. Rather sadly, I like decorating just about as much as most men would like to put their heads in a pan of boiling chip-fat. So it'll be a little while before herself treats me to some heels.... ;-) So put succinctly, Mrs Freddy feels the partner to a man wearing heels is going to find the situation tolerable, or intolerable, based on how 'easy-going' the partner herself is, and how much she enjoys the relationship with the male heel wearer. ... Edited June 10, 2009 by FastFreddy2 Grammar and spelling corrections. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy Posted June 11, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 Interesting post, and I guess that applies to us all. There is a point at which the balance tips from acceptable behaviour which can be tolerated to a point where it can't be tolerated. Sometimes the heels can be seen as a big weight tipping the balance to the non tolerance. I guess some of it is overcome still by the softly softly approach we often advise which gives the tolerance time to balance again. Food for thought for sure. Thanks Freddy and Mrs Freddy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted June 17, 2009 Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 There is no such thing as a nagging wife, rather a husband that does not do as he is asked. That might seem as if I am under the thumb, but it works for me and I also believe in taking away reason for complaints, then, when I want something, I just get it, it does not stir up any other nagging arguments or issues. She may not want me in heels all the time, but would wonder what the hell was wrong with me if I stopped watching them on ebay or buying them for her. I was pleasantly surprised the other week when I said I was going to wear some heels, when she said, good, thats what they are for! as if they were a waste of time just being in the wardrobe. It works for me, it might not work for others, she has become friends with quite a few guys here in these forums and we have had quite a few guys over for the evening, a pizza or a beer. I guess I was thrown in at the deep end with her, but with google keeping history and ebay having an annoying habit of throwing things on the home page that you have just been looking at, more and more of use will be forced to admit we have a thing for heels. Whilst it will be a problem for some relationships, those that can ride the storm will be free from deleting history, pretending not to look, and she will know how to treat you like no other women can........... We have had wives in the past join the forums here and over on the hhplace, they find that their men are just normal guys, like us, who like heels, no big deal really. They have to deal with it in their own way though. BTW, I am far from perfect. far far away..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FastFreddy2 Posted June 18, 2009 Report Share Posted June 18, 2009 (edited) A very interesting and thoughtful post, if I may say. :oops: So much so, I think I'm going to make a point of getting Mrs Freddy to read it, to see if I can't get a womans response? Certainly there's a concept there I've half seen, but now perhaps fully recognise. :confused: She may not want me in heels all the time, but would wonder what the hell was wrong with me if I stopped watching them on ebay or buying them for her. I was pleasantly surprised the other week when I said I was going to wear some heels, when she said, good, thats what they are for! as if they were a waste of time just being in the wardrobe. My mother encourages me no end with this. She regularly asks if I've been out in them, and when I respond "yes", it's always "Good for you." If fact she doesn't understand why I don't wear them all the time. At 80 years old, she's a little past caring what the rest of the world thinks .... My wife knows a day out from our home town will get me in heels, so she quite often suggests a visit to a shopping mall (which she wants) will have the suggestion "and you could wear heels" ... (something I want) tacked on the end of the comment. No flies on this one. She prefers me to wear - and this seems odd writing it - more masculine styles. Put another way, anything that doesn't have a stilletoe. I now have a number of what might pass for cowboy boots, and more recently I've been wearing these. Two pairs are easy to get on and off so they are suitable for quickly removing to try on other (heeled) shoes if we are out. One Sunday afternoon last summer, we were parked just off Oxford Street on our way to the West End stores. I was undecided whether to wear 'safe' block heels or some slightly more attractive blade heels. [For me, 'attractive' could mean slimmer heel, higher heel, or more difficult to walk in heel. These blade heels had 2 out of three possible strikes.] Some of my reservation was the slimmer heel being a more obvious 'tell' to what I had on my feet. To most it might at best seem like backhanded encouragement, her comment to me went something like; "If you can wear them anywhere, you can wear them here. People will be too busy to notice you." After hearing her comment, I wore the more attractive blades ..... In my relationship, I think there is now some resignation - by us both - to the fact I've not only into heels for my partner, but for myself also. I may have believed my heel wearing days were over, but plainly they weren't. And it now looks like this time they're here to stay. Well as long as my bones and muscles can cope. It would be wrong to say my partner enjoys me wearing heels, but she seems to enjoy the person I become when wearing them. Probably a coincidence since I wear them during non-work periods when we can relax a bit, but I'm not unhappy with the association. ... Edited June 18, 2009 by FastFreddy2 Grammar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FastFreddy2 Posted June 19, 2009 Report Share Posted June 19, 2009 Well, I got herself to read the last two posts. There was a re-assuring sigh, and a finger moved in a circular motion indicating the paragraph below. There is no such thing as a nagging wife, rather a husband that does not do as he is asked. That might seem as if I am under the thumb, but it works for me and I also believe in taking away reason for complaints, then, when I want something, I just get it, it does not stir up any other nagging arguments or issues. And I heard the words: "You can try that any time you like." :confused: Mindful this girls waaay smarter than me, I have to say I was expecting something a little more ..... intellectual? :oops: .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy Posted June 19, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 19, 2009 Maybe she kept it to a level she thought you'd understand j/k Women really do know how to play us don't they? lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FastFreddy2 Posted June 21, 2009 Report Share Posted June 21, 2009 Women really do know how to play us don't they? lol. Yes. :oops: I did try again to get a further comment, but it only went as far as; "I was pleased you (me) could see what it would take to make me happier." Were I cynical ..... ...... I might choose to translate that as "I'm glad you finally realise what your role is, in my world." But she's a great person with a good word to say about everyone - just about, so I've no need to be cynical. I do get the impression I feel like I've found something new and interesting, and herself thinks I should have understood The Rules from the first day I could speak. :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted July 22, 2009 Report Share Posted July 22, 2009 I remember over on the HHPlace there was an issue where heels broke up a relationship, it all unfolded in front of us as other members encouraged the poor sod to go on and do what he wanted to do. It ended in tears and caused quite a bit of work for the mods tiding up posts behind him so as not to cause anymore issues. I think support from other members is what we are all here for, but we cant get caught up in this cyber world too much. We all want lots of things, but we all need to take a step back once in a while and consider our actions. FF2, this is not aimed at you, but perhaps at those that are guests here just looking in. Remember they may have married us for better or for worse, but this could be beyond that for your average woman. lots of them don't like it, be aware and don't f**k your live up for the sake of it. Be excellent to each other. (crap film, good ethic). Nigel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy Posted July 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2009 Yeah, sometimes it's a bit too easy to get caught up in everyone elses enthusiasm and push on with no regard for our other halfs feelings. It's a case of weighing up your priorities and working out what's more important to you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FastFreddy2 Posted August 11, 2009 Report Share Posted August 11, 2009 I think support from other members is what we are all here for, but we cant get caught up in this cyber world too much. We all want lots of things, but we all need to take a step back once in a while and consider our actions. FF2, this is not aimed at you, but perhaps at those that are guests here just looking in. Remember they may have married us for better or for worse, but this could be beyond that for your average woman. lots of them don't like it, be aware and don't f**k your live up for the sake of it. Worthy reply. Although not aimed at me, I'd like to add ..... Personally, I try not to push anyone to a place they don't want to be. That could involve heels, or not. I suppose we are all able to give well-meant advice, that perhaps produces short term gains, and long-term costs. The example given seems just a case in point. There's another thread somewhere (that I suppose I'll have to reply to), where I may be seem to encourage members to do things they are not that comfortable with? (As may be more obvious to me should further detail is shared.) But "pushing" is never, and would never, be my intent. If I think (am led to believe) a lack of confidence is the main barrier to doing something advertureous, I'll encourage as best I can. I suppose my good intent can be mis-read, but I'm always happy to spend time providing a full and unambiguous written explanation. In personal relationships, I always suggest matters are addressed with care and consideration. Fortunately for me, I don't have to make a heels or relationship choice. If I did, I have no idea how I'd address that. I doubt there'd be a happy outcome either way .... For me, if there's one thing I've learned/been taught over my long and varied life, it's that we all need to be ourselves. I'd say that particular premise doesn't fit the lifestyle of everyone, as plainly, some prefer to hide their 'other-side'. It seems likely that for what might even be the majority, their lives are better if their secret is never shared? It just can't work for me.... My face is waaaay too expressive to be unhappy or frustrated, and be able to hide that from anyone. In many (many) respects, I'm lucky to be with the woman I'm with. ;-) .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy Posted February 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2013 Looking back at this now 4 years on, I wonder if any of the newer members have any input to this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FastFreddy2 Posted February 25, 2013 Report Share Posted February 25, 2013 Looking back at this now 4 years on, I wonder if any of the newer members have any input to this? Good call. Just re-read it, end to end. It's a thread a few months short of 4 years, and I'm surprised how quickly that time has passed. In some respects little about my circumstances has changed, and some others - much has. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy Posted March 30, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 30, 2013 Still no takers? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wetboot Posted April 2, 2013 Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 I can only wish my partner could contribute here...Unfortunately, he has no tolerance for my hiheeled cowboy boots, much less my Jessica Simpson boots... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FastFreddy2 Posted April 2, 2013 Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 Unfortunately, he has no tolerance for my hiheeled cowboy boots, much less my Jessica Simpson boots... May I ask, Is this an older relationship that began before your interest in heels, or one that started afterward? While your partner might not contribute directly, an indicator of your circumstances (no detail) could be just as helpful? If I remember, weren't you wearing 5" heels at a gas station not so long ago? Hopefully I have that right .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love4heels Posted May 11, 2013 Report Share Posted May 11, 2013 (edited) My wife dont like men wearing heels outdoors... But we are in a situation that I say i will wear my block heel boots outdoors, even if she like it or not. I will however never wear stilettos outdoors. So we have an agreement on that. If she want to live with me, she also have to accept that I prefer to wear heels. I`m just to old to be controlled by my wife or anybody else. My way or the highway... I think men are to weak on this point. Why do we need the partners acceptance all the time. But ofcourse, we might end up loosing the partner and that is a risk I will take. Edited May 11, 2013 by Love4heels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FastFreddy2 Posted May 11, 2013 Report Share Posted May 11, 2013 (edited) My way or the highway... I think men are to weak on this point. Why do we need the partners acceptance all the time. But of course, we might end up loosing the partner and that is a risk I will take. I think our attitude toward this, is going to be very dependant on just how much heels are a part of our personality, our history, our life? My wife is very tolerant, of just about everything. We could not be together if it was otherwise. I doubt my heels will ever cause her to leave. There are numerous, more important issues that could create that situation first. As far as me in heels is concerned, we have reached 'common ground' and we both understand what the limits are. These are mostly my abilities (I don't wear 6" heels as I can't walk well in them), and appropriateness. Meaning, I don't wear a 5" patent stiletto out shopping, any more than most other women would. If things were different? Could I give up wearing heels to keep my marriage intact? I could, but I doubt I would. Honestly, usually I prefer to have company to being alone. But I could manage if I needed to. Plus, there are still plenty of single women about also looking for company. Would I have to search for long to find someone who would accept my interest? I hope not. I would certainly look at finding one optimistically. Thankfully the decision is not expected to arrive at my door. Edited May 11, 2013 by FastFreddy2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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