How To Let Your Friends And Family Know U Wear High Heels

[Shyheels]

There have been some really quite stunning images on this thread of styles and fashions from the Golden Age

[Tacchi Alti]

4 hours ago, wetboot said:

Of course you are joking about your son posting on facebook...

I'm thinking your kids are aware you wear heels and are OK with it, they just don't bring it up....

Well, he hasn't posted on FB yet, but I don't think he would anyway. He's very sensitive to people's feelings and wouldn't post anything for a cheap laugh if it would be hurtful to the person concerned. His girlfriend is a delightful girl and probably the first I'd 'come out' to as she's really open. At Christmas we were talking about me wearing a skirt - she started it - but unfortunately someone else came into the room at the crucial moment and we've never continued the conversation. I think she has a thing about that, as in a job interview she told the interviewer he'd look good in a skirt. She got the job!

[Puffer]

7 hours ago, FastFreddy2 said:

...

Vertiginous heels have been with us for well over 10 years. Louboutin has become staggeringly wealthy by producing them and then protecting his brand in the courts. For the past year to 18 months, block heels were the thing, and still are -ish. What was Taylor Swift wearing in court today? High black block-heeled boots. 

I won't deny that high stiletto heels aren't still popular, but flat shoes have had in-roads this summer .... "Barely there" sandals are still popular, and to avoid feet looking like flippers, they have to come with a high heel. But this is all old news. There are two things I don't understand about the consumers continued interest in 'barely there' styles. Firstly, why so popular when so many people (women) have ugly feet? The other is that this style is inherently uncomfortable. Thin straps on a high heeled shoe have got to cut into skin after a short length of time. But retailers still promote the sales in these styles, and they would only do that if there was a market demand for them.

We do seem to have a more mixed selection of female footwear at present, everything from the flattest barely-there sandals through their high-stiletto counterparts to block heeled and/or platform courts, wedges and, of course, boots of all types.   I guess it is almost a tug-of-war between style and comfort, with the lower and chunkier footwear gaining ground mostly on grounds of greater practicality but stilettos still a popular (and preferred) look for many.   I didn't think the Guardian article told us anything new, nor was particularly encouraging; it was mainly a vehicle for showing Kate's choice of sandals (which I like).    

Sandals seem ever-more popular with women of all ages and backgrounds, regardless of the condition of their feet.   Here again, there seem to be two distinct styles (with or without heels): the very brief 'barely-there' types and the much more enclosed heavier patterns.   Personally, whilst I can see that thin straps and often puffy or mis-shaped feet are not a good combo, I like the look (unless the wearer has really gross tootsies) and 'less is more'.   The more enclosed styles are often very unfeminine (shoes with holes in!) and rarely attractive.   As an aside, I note that painted toenails are increasingly popular, again regardless of a woman's age or status.   If done nicely (no tar brush or really garish colours, please!), they deserve showing-off in strappy sandals - another reason for the latter being so popular.   Conversely, a glimpse through a very enclosed peeptoe style may be suggestive but imho it is not attractive; why bother?

Interestingly, men are wearing sandals much more often than in the past, and often much lighter and more open styles too.   I like wearing sandals but have always steered well clear of the heavy, chunky types that were traditional for men - and the equally ugly 'sports sandals' with rubber or canvas straps - but now I have a better choice of lighter, comfortable styles which are effectively unisex - in addition to the ubiquitous flip-flops (love 'em or hate 'em).   I would have an even better choice if my feet were smaller (and would take it), but that ain't going to happen!

[FastFreddy2]

4 hours ago, Shyheels said:

Interesting thoughts re: pretty red-haired girl in go-go boots. 

I think it was a combination of things - firstly I really liked the look and sleekness of the boots; they were visually appealing to me. On another level I coveted the 'out there' sauciness and self-confidence they suggested, and which she possessed, and which I wished to possess too.  The fact that she was pretty and wore them certainly lent them cachet and glamour in my eyes, but I honesty believe my liking those boots, and desiring a pair myself, existed over and above and outside my fancying the girl. Because the two - boots and girl - existed together it becomes hard to unravel the thought processes and feelings, but I believe they were separate in my mind, even then. I think because there is also a sexiness in the mix, it becomes to easy to put it all down to that. Boots never became a fetish with me, but I always have liked the look and style of tall fashion boots.

Still with my amateur psychologist head on ..... 

I very much doubt the first time you ever saw that style of boot, was on that girl. And even if it was, I very much doubt you would have felt the same about those boots if the first time you saw a pair they were in a shop window. 

From the little I know of the people who write here (most of whom I have met), I would say their interest in a particular shoe style (high heel) is born from a place shared by their libido, if not immediately now, then they had history with it. Mine surely grew from seeing women in a heel (and the style I like) from films and television. When I tried on my mothers shoes, even though at a very young age, it produced stirrings that didn't change until I got so old stirrings were infrequent in any circumstance. Although the 'stirring' situation didn't happen frequently during the course of my life, and there were times - when in social situations - I might be in a very high heel for hours, the overall effect became permanent. I am to a degree, self-trained to enjoy wearing a heel. As a youth, and maybe a bit older , "top shelf" magazines would have reinforced my initial interest in a high heeled woman ....   

There has always been an association in my life, with high heels and sex. I'm not alone in that notion, it's typical. Not many 'glamour' photo's have models in flat shoes, and there is a well known acronym: C.F.M. shoes ... They aren't flat shoes either...

I've taken this notion a step further, but recognising girls/women in a heel, are demonstrating the disposition toward sexual activity. High heel = strong libido. It's something that might be seen as a chicken-and-egg conclusion. Do we men find women with a high heel attractive because (usually being younger and fertile) we are drawn to the 'peacock' style (method) of displaying interest in a liaison? Just as we might see a women wearing blusher and red lipstick. (Biological signs women are ready for sex.) I think the answer is yes, and women play to it, those who want to anyway. Younger girls, competing for the best looking, affluent/stable partners, using their DNA driven methods in a modern guise to secure their favoured choice.

What we men can't have (too old, unattractive: personalities/life/physique) we emulate to recover the loss of that missing aspect. Well, those that can. Those of us with partners, can likely get away with something if we dare to push a boundary. Those of us who are single, probably have a special area in a wardrobe ..... Some might have both.

Edited August 15, 2017 by FastFreddy2

[Shyheels]

It has been nearly fifty years, but I am virtually positive the first time I ever saw go-go boots was on that girl. No recollection whatever of ever having seen them before. Nor can I recall if they had heels or not, so it certainly wasn't heels that attracted me or made me notice them. I realise that most people would assume that this must have its roots in the male libido, but in my case they would be shallow roots if they exist at all.

[FastFreddy2]

14 minutes ago, Shyheels said:

 I realise that most people would assume that this must have its roots in the male libido, but in my case they would be shallow roots if they exist at all.

Well in that case, it's lucky for you that your fixation was't for a car bumper or a paving slab.  

Of course you realise, all roots are hidden, right?  I can't intellectualise the concept any further than I have, but I can see no other driver for the interest you have, or the other truly unusual people that get a thing for paving slaps or car parts. I'd certainly be interested in how someone got a fixation for an inanimate object without a sexualised association. Even women who get a 'thing' for dolls and have large collections, can be explained away with mother/child relationship. (Giving birth.) 

Given the job your mother did, I can't help but wonder if there was some forgotten memory of an attractive adult women friend of hers you saw in boots, that may have been the precursor to the event you do remember. (Cocking the gun that was fired in high school.) Probably reads better as putting you on the starting blocks, that had you off and running, after that visual event at high school.

Almost everything I like, comes down to sex and some sort of sexual attraction. Even a bicycle. Furniture. I'm into simple clean flowing lines. Same with clothing, shoes, women, everything. It's very hard for me to imagine/conceive an alternate driver. But I haven't studied Freud or Jung, so there might well be a myriad of alternates. 

[Shyheels]

Ah, yes, but you see, if was not a fixation. Never was. For a while in eighth grade I was certainly fixated on this girl, and yes, I liked the boots she wore, but the fixation was on the girl - most especially her red hair, which I thought was very pretty - not the boots. I liked them, sure,  thought they looked good on her, and enhanced her saucy confident appeal, and would have liked to have a pair myself, but they were an accessory. 

 I was embarrassed to find that the boots I was fancying were strictly for girls, and so dropped like a hot potato the idea that I would ever own or wear a pair myself. I felt silly for not reading the situations styles and mores better than I did. But I never fixated on boots or, really, fetishised anything else in the sort of way you are thinking. Indeed the only time I thought about wearing tall boots was in the autumn when the fall fashions came out and I would see ads or display windows and be reminded that I liked tall boots and wished it were okay for me to have and wear them too. Otherwise, for all the rest of the year, I never really gave them a thought. 

I think people give too much credit to sex as a driving force.

Edited August 15, 2017 by Shyheels

[Puffer]

Where were you living, Shyheels, when you saw the go-go boots?   I assume the US from what you have told us but was it in a major city or a quiet 'backwoods' place?   If the latter, perhaps your access to any shops etc was sufficiently limited that you would have had few opportunities to see the boots before (or indeed after) that initial sighting on a local girl.   Even if otherwise, I can believe that you might only have registered the existence of the boots for the first time when seeing them worn, unless you made a conscious effort to look out for shoe shops and other places where you might spot 'interesting' items.   I certainly recall that juvenile street-sightings of shoes were much more likely to register with me than any window-shopping or the like - if only because I was (then, and probably until my 30s) very hesitant at pausing to look deliberately at anything 'naughty'; a shoe shop window adjacent to a bus stop or similar would have provided a rare exception and opportunity for proper inspection.   Nor (alas) did I have access to any worthwhile shoe collection of any friends or relations; my mother's choice of footwear was distinctly boring.

[Shyheels]

I was living at the time in the suburbs of a very large American city. A very middle class suburb, American as apple pie.

[FastFreddy2]

2 hours ago, Shyheels said:

Ah, yes, but you see, if was not a fixation. Never was. For a while in eighth grade I was certainly fixated on this girl, and yes, I liked the boots she wore, but the fixation was on the girl - most especially her red hair, which I thought was very pretty - not the boots. I liked them, sure,  thought they looked good on her, and enhanced her saucy confident appeal, and would have liked to have a pair myself, but they were an accessory. 

 I was embarrassed to find that the boots I was fancying were strictly for girls, and so dropped like a hot potato the idea that I would ever own or wear a pair myself. I felt silly for not reading the situations styles and mores better than I did. But I never fixated on boots or, really, fetishised anything else in the sort of way you are thinking. Indeed the only time I thought about wearing tall boots was in the autumn when the fall fashions came out and I would see ads or display windows and be reminded that I liked tall boots and wished it were okay for me to have and wear them too. Otherwise, for all the rest of the year, I never really gave them a thought. 

Many people (you in this instance) I think read 'fixated' and 'fetish' as a black and white situation. In reality, I think it's more a greyscale thing, certainly a wedge where people can have their interest rated anywhere from the thin end, to the thick end of the wedge.

I would say anyone reading my posts here, would consider me on the thick end of that wedge regarding a heel. Sometimes, although fairly infrequently, they might be right, but those times could be years apart and then only for short periods anyway. Lets compare: When was the last time you wore your long boots, when was the last time you wore your PVC trousers? I last wore a heel for 2 hours on 24th July, and for 10 minutes on and off (photo's) a little less than a week ago. My shiny leggings, not since I did the photo's I posted here. Were I to ask someone; who of the two of us was more interested in an unusual/unique dress sense judging by what they actually wore, would they say me? I propose we are both 'on the scale'. Some days you might be greyer than me, other days, possibly I am the greyer one. Others here, are significantly greyer than us both, on a day to day basis. While defending my interest, I could not deny there are times where even I would consider myself 'fixated' on a heel. And I know I can perform without my partner wearing a high heel, so do I have a fetish for them? Well, as much as I might have for any other bedroom attire I suppose, the difference is I can sometimes see a high heel in the high street, (as I can a really tight calf-length skirt). 

 

On 14/08/2017 at 1:32 PM, Shyheels said:

I forget what or how - and I was mortified to find I had been fancying boots that were strictly for girls. I felt as alarmed and embarrassed as if I had been inadvertently wanting to wear a dress.

Indeed I was so mortified that I buried this new discovered and unnerving partiality for what society deems to be "feminine" boots for decades.

Your past has affected you, regarding boots, and I think you have found a 'work-around', as have many of us. Some by a closet full of high heels (and other clothing), which is an interest they might or might not share with others. Do any of us bury something unless it's significant? Would there be a need to?

 

Quote

I think people give too much credit to sex as a driving force.

There are few behavioural drivers. Shelter and food are not ones we need to worry about these days. Nor heat or clean water. What is left?

Sex has caused Kings to give up crowns, and has certainly disrupted my life more than any other single aspect (save an injury.) I don't agree your view about the influence of sex being over-stated, I think it understated. Ask any divorce lawyer. 

Edited August 15, 2017 by FastFreddy2

[Shyheels]

Yes, but if you don't give these things much thought it is hardly a fixation. 

Not really a workaround as a mature realisation that if I feel like wearing a pair of otk boots, it is really no big deal. And having made that realisation, and acted upon it, I have become quite laid back and matter of fact about it all. They actually do not seem much different - or really any different - than any other bit of footwear. It might if I was actually wearing go-go boots or heels, but my tall boots are really quite conservative, nothing overtly feminine - in fact, more masculine than not.

I find myself wondering what all the fuss was about.

In terms of drivers it doesn't have to be physical needs - ambition, jealousy, aspirations, ego, pride...etc.

Edited August 15, 2017 by Shyheels

[FastFreddy2]

2 hours ago, Shyheels said:

Yes, but if you don't give these things much thought it is hardly a fixation. 

You 'buried' it.    Hard to imagine a fixation taking any thinking time, if it's been effectively banned?

 

In the great scheme of things, as long as our independent tastes do not harm anyone -including ourselves- none of this stuff matters. My only frustration is that due to social barriers, I probably missed out on wearing a heel a lot more often than I did or do. Since wearing a heel would have almost certainly had a detrimental effect on the condition of my feet, it may well be a good thing I didn't wear them more than I did. Having a good 20 years without wearing a pair for more than 2 minutes, which then only involved checking to see if the ones I owned still fitted before packing them up again, has obviously helped keep my feet in good shape. Literally. 

 

 

[Shyheels]

I buried my sense of embarrassment. The way we all bury those moments we hate to look back upon, when we've done something artless, boorish, mistimed, miscued, or just plain embarrassing. 

Yes, fortune can sometimes favour us in strange ways. I recall a stockbroker in Sydney thirty years ago, after the market crashed in '87, saying how glad he was that he'd been in the hospital having a brain tumour removed - otherwise he would have been out there buying into a bear market! I guess that is truly finding a silver lining!

Edited August 15, 2017 by Shyheels

[Puffer]

Maybe we should have a new topic covering 'Vintage Fashion' - depending upon one's definition of vintage, e.g. post-1945.   I found this collection fascinating - lots of 1950s stuff and some more modern retro in like vein.   In a word: 'elegance'.

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/368028600777527691/

[Shyheels]

Not a bad idea...

[FastFreddy2]

Had a weird dream last week (I've just remembered) .....

Walking through class while at college (???) some bright spark noticed my wedge heels. Word quickly spread which I became aware of. I responded with "have a better look" and lifted my trouser leg to reveal a heel. Some looked - and at this point I woke up. 

It was set in the future, with me back at school, which is something I have been promising myself. (Was going to be HTML, but might now be digital picture editing - maybe with video thrown in.) Raises an interesting conundrum ... If I did go back to college in an 'art' environment, what would I wear on my feet? 

The answer possibly lies in where I took the course - if I'm to take one. Local, no. 15/20 miles away, possibly.

[Shyheels]

An interesting hypothetical!

If I could go back in time, come autumn I would certainly be wearing my OTK boots out and about and around campus. Without question.

And I would certainly have experimented with stilettos - although I doubt I would have worn them out and about.

But my low-heeled suede OTK boots, most certainly...

I regret not having done so earlier - it was silly to have been scared off

Edited February 5, 2018 by Shyheels

[Puffer]

Interesting stuff - and has prompted some recollections of dreams and aspirations I've had too.   

I have a number of recurrent dream themes [make of that what you will], one of which is centred on the period just before final professional exams were to be taken - in the expectation that I was poorly prepared and would certainly fail.   (Of course, this was a retrospective view 45+ years on - the reality being that I could not now pass the exams I took then, quite aside from major changes in the syllabus since.)   The dream is tinged with concerns that my social life is limiting my study time and I am preoccupied with women and heels, including some shoes that I attempt to wear but which are too small [real life intervenes again] - and the time spent in finding them and trying them threatens my prompt arrival at the exams ...

Another footwear-related dream I have had revolves around the discovery of some sexy shoes of various sorts that I can wear - but in circumstances threatened by insufficient opportunity to do so or the probability of discovery [real life again?] and, of course, I invariably wake up before I really get anywhere.   Frustrating, ain't it?

As to what I would have done if I had my teens and twenties over again, I guess I would have been less inhibited in my clothing and activity.   But the environment then was less conducive to male heel-wearing etc than it is now, so I question whether I would have achieved more at that period of time.   (I realise that platform shoes etc were popular and widely worn by men in the 1970s, but that was not and is not a fashion that I would ever adopt.   And, ironically, although I had some mild winkle-pickers, I owned no cuban heels in the 1960s but have them now.   In retrospect, I would have loved to have worn them then, as some contemporaries did.)

I am, as ever, mindful that I have a retired psychiatrist as a next-door neighbour - and his wife is a psychologist.   And an anaesthetist lives on the other side.   I fear a whole lot of unpleasant new dreams in the offing ...   Quick, nurse - my medication!

[Shyheels]

I agree with you on platforms - I never cared for them in the 60s or 70s and I still don't care for them today. I never really was that interested in heels to be honest, but I did like taller boots - knee and otk boots - and knowing what I know now I would certainly have adopted the style and made it my own, regardless of fashion. The sorts of otk boots I favour - low-heeled suede pull-on style - are fairly neutral in terms of gender (other than their height, which is unusual for men these days) - and really don't cause any notice or comment. I was thinking of that the other night when I wore them to pick up a take-away curry on a busy high street. Not a soul noticed, a far as I am aware.

 

  

 

 

[FastFreddy2]

1 hour ago, Puffer said:

I have a number of recurrent dream themes [make of that what you will], one of which is centred on the period just before final professional exams were to be taken - in the expectation that I was poorly prepared and would certainly fail.   (Of course, this was a retrospective view 45+ years on - the reality being that I could not now pass the exams I took then, quite aside from major changes in the syllabus since.)   The dream is tinged with concerns that my social life is limiting my study time and I am preoccupied with women and heels, including some shoes that I attempt to wear but which are too small [real life intervenes again] - and the time spent in finding them and trying them threatens my prompt arrival at the exams ...

Dr Freddy here ......

Exams = demise. Studying = life journey. Shoes = distractions (any/all personal interests.)

Invoice has been posted.

 

1 hour ago, Puffer said:

As to what I would have done if I had my teens and twenties over again, I guess I would have been less inhibited in my clothing and activity.   But the environment then was less conducive to male heel-wearing etc than it is now, so I question whether I would have achieved more at that period of time.   (I realise that platform shoes etc were popular and widely worn by men in the 1970s, but that was not and is not a fashion that I would ever adopt.   And, ironically, although I had some mild winkle-pickers, I owned no cuban heels in the 1960s but have them now.   In retrospect, I would have loved to have worn them then, as some contemporaries did.)

I am, as ever, mindful that I have a retired psychiatrist as a next-door neighbour - and his wife is a psychologist.   And an anaesthetist lives on the other side.   I fear a whole lot of unpleasant new dreams in the offing ...   Quick, nurse - my medication!

My time was during the Boy George/Marilyn/Steve Strange (New Romantic period). Socially I could have worn a heel, but it would have crimped my employment path. Mindful the three personalities I specifically mention went on to suffer longterm drug addition, it was probably best I had the life I did.

 

1 hour ago, Shyheels said:

I agree with you on platforms - I never cared for them in the 60s or 70s and I still don't care for them today. I never really was that interested in heels to be honest, but I did like taller boots - knee and otk boots - and knowing what I know now I would certainly have adopted the style and made it my own, regardless of fashion. The sorts of otk boots I favour - low-heeled suede pull-on style - are fairly neutral in terms of gender (other than their height, which is unusual for men these days) - and really don't cause any notice or comment. I was thinking of that the other night when I wore them to pick up a take-away curry on a busy high street. Not a soul noticed, a far as I am aware.

 

I think they were probably noticed. But it was likely a situation that didn't upset anyone.  

[Shyheels]

It's possible, but to be honest I wasn't really looking to see if anybody noticed. I wasn't really conscious of wearing them and thought about it only later in the context of a post I read on HHP. Certainly nobody made a thing of it if they did notice. 

[FastFreddy2]

You weren't burnt at the stake, nor ridiculed by a gang of 'yoofs', so a successful and anonymous visit I'd say.

For me, being 'spotted' is an occupational hazard. I'm not bothered as long as I don't get abuse or ridiculed. 

[Shyheels]

I honestly don’t anyone noticed. My otk boots are heavy grey suede, low heels (Vibram soles, in fact) and I was wearing washed-black skinny jeans. They blended in quite well. Very unexceptional looking.

[FastFreddy2]

Around 3 weeks a ago. a picture I keep on my phone with me in black shiny leggings and high heels, was shown to the youngest member of my family and I informed him the image was a self-portrait. He had seen the picture before and had asked if the screensaver was chosen because of the leggings or heels, I had said both.

After the admission, I didn't stop breathing, didn't disappear without trace, didn't get nasty phone calls from anyone. In fact, it would be true to say it was something of a non-event. Oh well.... 

 

[FastFreddy2]

And..... 

Two weeks ago, I also told a new lady friend the same picture (as above) was of me. She knows I'm a photographer, and has seen my portfolio, though after I mentioned the origin of the picture.

Once again, nothing. 

 

It being Christmas, one of the few social events I go to, is a Christmas dinner with immediate family. I have some court shoes with 5" heels I put on for 2 minutes most weeks (I don't go out in heels) that remind me I can walk in heels, and like walking in heels. I tried them on as I got ready to leave for the function earlier today, with me wanting to wear them to the dinner.  Mrs Freddy wasn't keen, understandably, so the shoes stayed at home.

Perhaps one day ...  

Edited December 26, 2018 by FastFreddy2