FastFreddy2

I agree 100%. I also accept the term "cross-dresser" is seldom meant as a term of endearment. [No more than 'queer' 'leftie' 'fascist' could be seen as terms of endearment either.] There is no doubt in my mind we men are conditioned to conform lest we acquire a bigots label in the same genre of those listed above. I would worry about any man not attracted to high heels. Obviously a non-conformist .... ....

What do I know? Searching Flickr for HH piccies (sad man) I came across a member there who describes themselves as a cross-dresser. http://www.flickr.com/photos/alice_uk_cd/ Very definitely isn't. Very definitely is a transvestite. I've checked to about Page 12. All 'safe' images. Some nice shoes, but no indication of source. ....

My wife is an easy going woman. God knows she needs to be. She'll not upset anyone, even when they deserve it. About as gentle a person you could meet. No vices except a burning desire to retire early.... [Tomorrow wouldn't be too soon. ] Grammar school education, and smart enough to be a doctor or lawyer. She is as liberal and liberalist as anyone you could wish to meet. If she says men wearing heels is cross-dressing .... as undesirable as that notion might be, it's a truth from someone who doesn't care - one way or the other. [No agenda or need to take one side or other.] As I wrote the other day, cross-dressing isn't as black and white as it keeps being portrayed. It's a wedge. With full blown TV at the thick end [24/7 'as woman' for a man]; with (just) stockings under trousers - or (just) heels - or (just) womans undies are the very thin end of that wedge. Sadly, I'm aware this upsets people, and seemingly Americans more than Brits. I guess we are deviant by reputation, and by deed. Being a cross-dresser is no more a slur to me, than being called 'spotty' when I get a spot on my face, or being called 'ginge', had I ginger hair. As I've gone to some pains to point out, wearing clothes of another gender, does not infer/mean/assume/confirm the wearer to be a transvestite. ie. someone wanting to feel and be seen as someone of the opposite sex to what they actually are. [This remark cuts both ways and is inclusive of both genders.] I'm not aware of one nation anywhere in the world, where it is common or traditional for men to wear heels. I wish it wasn't so. I've wished it wasn't so since I was about 7, and believe me, that's a fair chunk of time. Abstract notion: [and bit of a soapbox moment] If everyone in the world says the colour you see is red, and you think it's blue ... What colour is it? Well to you, it's blue. But if you want to live in the same world everyone else lives in, you have to call it red. Only if you live in a separate world, can the colour be called blue. So with heels. As individuals here, (HHp and thousands of homes in the Western World), men wearing heels is normal/usual/expected/desirable/attractive. But it's not how the rest of the worlds sees it. If everyone in the world I want to be part of insists I'm a cross-dresser, how can I refute this apparent reality? Even if I disagree with every fibre of my body? The world wants to label me ... so what? I'm happy wanting what I want, being who I am. My only real gripe is that it took me so long to understand what I (really) wanted, and who I really am. And I hope you and any other reader won't see these comments as personal, mean, inciteful, or disrespectful. I'm in the same boat as everyone else with this interest/desire. There is no benefit to me in punching holes in that boat. But part of getting the rest of the world to accept me, is me accepting how the world sees and labels me. [Even if I don't agree with their labelling system.] So I work a compromise. I do what I can and enjoy what I can. There may be time left for me to see that labelling system change, but I doubt it will. Western society has grown increasingly conservative since the 1980's. So maybe in the next life .... ....

Found last night on Schuh website, a red pair in a 41 had been returned to Westfield in West-ish London. Rang them this morning, and still in stock, so had them put to one side. Rang them tonight before travelling, to make sure they were still there. [bit of a trip see.] Got to the store .... no-one could find them ..... They'd been left on the upper floor [mens section] next to the telephone there. Colour of my face matched the shoes .... Boy, was I expecting to launch into 'grumpy customer' .... Pictues soon. Promise.

Outstanding. : Well done on your consolation prize(s) too.

Last minute decision .... Westfield [White City] 8pm tonight!

You know us Brits don't get on with them, don't you .... If you decide to come over here, I'm sure we can sort you out some accomodation. Redecorating at the moment, but should be complete in 3 months. You have an open invite anytime. 1-14 days, however long you want. Not too far from London .... about 40 minutes by car and 30 minutes by rail. I'm sure I could keep you entertained for at least a week. ....

Freddy will be at Lakeside Shopping Mall this coming Friday, around lunchtime for 2 or 3 hours. House of Fraser will be visited, as will some of the 'budget' end clothing and shoe shops. Haven't been inside a Primarnie for months! He'll be moving onto Bluewater for the early evening. House of Fraser store there will also be visited, as will one of two restaurants for an evening meal. I'll be with 'herself'. Anyone wishing to meet up with me/us just to say hello, would be very welcome. I offer to buy coffees and cake/sarnie for anyone who is there from the forum, safe in the knowledge I won't be spending any money. Call my bluff whydontcha? ...

Not having been able to escape to the Sales much, I've been a bit dependant on the internet and online shopping. I almost tried >> these << on during a recent trip (only trip) but chose not to as they didn't look like they could be fitted in under 20 minutes. I don't mind being stared at for a couple of seconds, but entertaining people for 20 minutes practically qualifies me as a street performer ... ... which I'm not. Ordered online, and Royal Mail tell me I have a delivery coming tomorrow. Will have to wait to try them on, as I've a builder in tomorrow. While I was at it, I also ordered >> these << from ALDO too. In the cold light of day, I'm looking at spending money I don't need to, so I'm hoping at least one style won't fit .... Curiosity, and a very lean Christmas got the better of me. Reports here tomorrow night. ....

Bob, If ever I was going to need a reason to get sentimental, that last post was going to be it. I'm sorry for the loss of the loved one, who was undoubtedly your soul-mate. Seems to me that you're making the most of the cards you've been dealt having already played the best hand you'll ever see. You are an inspiration. If I live long enough to be half the man you are, I'll consider my life a success. ...

Hmmm. Sounds like my 'theory' was as water-tight as the Titanic.

Hello Heelman500, and welcome. Ooooh, I'd like to be a fly on the wall to hear those.... Not got any smart replies you could pass on to us? ...

As I mentioned elsewhere, I went over to HHp for a browse. [Actually looking for a link I may have posted.] And saw you were a member there. Worse, I saw you could be a neighbour, since we live in the same county. Back to the 'wearing heels at work' theme .... Odd (just a little odd) that your manager mentioned heels were acceptable, but one type of them - stiletto's - were not? I had thought that there might be a health and safety aspect to it, but maybe not if the girls could wear them. Still, heels is heels! Good for you. And thank you for the positive sentiment on me enjoying the same. .....

If I'm honest, the cross-dressing aspect of this doesn't bother me at all. [i try not to be a hypocrite.] Though as you might suggest, a man dressed in woman's clothes, usually (but not always) is going to seem like a manly figure dressed in womans clothes. [Woman have much more attractive basic shape?] And age can't be any kinder to a man in woman clothes, than it would be to the older woman. That said, the HHp declares it doesn't support the cross-dressing aspect of the site, but plainly much goes on. If it were all removed, I wonder how successful the site would remain? Conversely, as my wife has just mentioned [reading over my shoulder .... ] even wearing high heels is cross-dressing. Perhaps the thinnest point of a quite steep wedge? It's as you say, where does cross-dressing become tranvestite-ism. ie. Feeling, and or looking like a woman. I think that line is defined a lot more clearly here, [H4M] 'men with heels', men looking and feeling like men - wearing heels? Like you Bob, I enjoy wearing leggings in winter though under my trousers? [As Long Johns, though I'm not just wearing them for the warmth.] I do sometimes wear hold ups for similar reasons in Autumn and Spring. Some of my boots demand I wear hose, as socks would be too thick, and this would be a time I might also choose to wear hose on my legs under trousers or jeans. [Never bare legged with hose in the house or outside.] Having something close to the skin on your legs is a quite pleasant feeling, but I'm pleased to say there is a practical reason for it too. And looking or feeling 'girly' isn't the reason. Had a look at the blogspot site. I take your point. ....

When I first returned there was no apparent interest from search engines, nor anyone else I could see. A few members are making some effort, and the water is stirring. I doubt this place could compete in any way with HHp, because it's almost anti-women. "4men" geddit? Just been over for a browse, and the men around the women posters there is quite a shock given I haven't had any exposure to it for some time. [My problem with at least one of the girls there, was her posts seemed too much like a man pretending to be a girl. I was never convinced.] But people posting (maybe literally) hundreds of HH pictures of girls, is going to be too much of a draw to allow them to wander over here. I think it might be prudent to add some pictures .... maybe not of men wearing heels. Opinions? ...

I've just read one or two updates on the Telling your Partner thread. Seems I may have missed this one as I don't seem to have contributed. There was an intimation somewhere, that someone may have chosen their partner because they wore high heels? It set me wondering ..... Not that anyone draws up a list, but there are going to be acceptable, and not acceptable things about girlfriends that become S/O or spouses. I've always favoured girlie girls for example. Those that like a bit of make-up, tend to wear dressier clothes, and of course .... Liked wearing heels. Girls who had a similar outlook on dress and style that I had in fact. I've never been a smoker, so usually girlfriends were non-smokers though this wasn't always the case. [Wife used to smoke 3 a day, but gave up of her own accord after about 8 years together.] I was never going to stay in a relationship with someone who fell out of bed and left the house. I was never going to stay in a relationship with someone who swore more than I did. I was never going to stay in a relationship with a girl who looked more like a boy than I did. I was never going to stay in a relationship with a girl who didn't enjoy wearing heels. Shallow? Hey-ho. I'm thinking most of those 'values', or enablers for my long standing relationships still hold good today. Sadly, at least two of the women I'm still in contact with, have feet in such poor condition, they'll never walk in heels again. Another one I've recently had contact with (mother of my child) has at least two pairs of Pleasers in her current wardrobe. (One boot style, one shoe style. She has no idea about their 'genre'. Bless her. ) Mrs Freddy, has a vast wardrobe of heels. She likes wearing them because she doesn't feel dressed without heels on. Her collection is moving from 'painful to wear for more than 2 hours', to 'wear all day' styles. [Mostly due to Messrs Kurt Geiger and one of his less expensive sisters, Carvela.] The start-to-current of this period covers 30 years with three of them [one of which is herself]. The last one I've been in contact with for around 22 years and is someone who has endured 2 bunion ops on one foot, one op on the other. It's beginning to become apparent she may have to have a hip replaced sooner rather than later too. The suspicion is, wearing heels for 7 days of the week which led to damaged feet, has in turn led to a poor gait and then hip damage. One of the 30 year girls, has had more ops on her feet than I can remember, and when she returns from a holiday in Turkey over the holiday period, is having them both operated on again. When last we spoke, she could barely walk at all, much less put on heels. I mention this because.... I frequently see girls in or leaving nightclubs with heels on they can barely walk in. When they leave the clubs, it wouldn't be unusual for them to take their heels off. [i've watched them leave walking like they have permanent injuries, they walk so badly.] I realise that at a young age [18->30], fashion induced pain is not only acceptable, the wife tells me it's practically expected. So where am I going with this? We hook up with compatible people. We start a long life together with compatible people. But time and life, wears us out. Some of the things we used to enjoy about our partners, becomes a thing of the past. My thing; tight skirts with high heels, just couldn't be worn by anyone in my sort of age range. They just wouldn't be comfortable wearing figure hugging skirts. Either because they'd feel they were too old for that sort of revealing style, or their figure just wouldn't carry off the finished shape. Heels as I've mentioned, once acceptable forms of personal torture, no longer the case even if a desire still exists to wear them. [i can confirm it still does with all of them.] The punchline to the post, is am I getting back into wearing heels, because I'm missing having other people around me who for around 20 - 25 years filled my need to have high heels in my everyday life? Am I my own substitute for something that's lacking (and will continue to be lacking) for the rest of my life? Deep eh? Sure my wife has a lots and lots of heels. Q. Do I get to see her wearing them? A. Not very often. In fact we have a bit of an 'in' joke between us. If I wear heels, she doesn't. Very infrequently will we both wear heels at the same time. I'm assured it's nothing to do with her feeling like we're competing. More to do with the two injuries she's suffered over the past couple of years. One in a Mall where she slid on some rubbish (card) missed by the Mall cleaner. The other was in some snow where she again lost her footing. Both incidents meant painful foot movement for some time afterwards. A less temporary problem, is that she's starting to experience some pain in one of her hips too. [Geriatrics R Us. ] So fellas .... by way of a conclusion .... a question: If your S/O or spouse wore high heels most of the time, and enjoyed/took an interest in wearing them, would you still want to wear them too? I'm hoping for written responses if possible, hence no poll. But please, try to make them considered responses. Meaning; try to imagine your life with what might be (should be ) your favourite person wearing heels around you most of the time. Certainly whenever she put shoes on anyway. And styles that she was happy you had some input with choosing. Imagine. Go on, you know you want to ..... ....

Coming from the other direction, I wear heels [blocks and blades mostly] in public, but have never worked anywhere that would accept me [socially amongst fellow employees] with womans shoes. Put another way, I would expect to be laughed out of employment. A rather interesting comment from your manager though. I take it no-one else there wore stiletto's either? Maybe an inappropriate question, but do you reside in the US? I ask because nearly all the responders I've seen where they managed to work in heels, have been living in the US.... I have a goal to wear heels to work ... one day. I just hope I live enough enough to realise it. ....

I've said this a number of times, though now some time ago..... The little money I do make, I get by selling via the internet. Sometimes face to face sales, but everything I sell is into a very macho environment. There is no way I could wear heels full-time, or around people when I sell. My mother, though 80, still has a 30 a day smoking habit which pretty much keeps me from spending time with her. She's a bit fragile so doesn't get out much, and 2 minutes plus in her home means me and every bit of clothing I'm wearing needs washing as soon as I return home. I try to do 'my bit' by wearing heels anytime I leave town, for shopping or entertainment. Maybe as I get older, I'll continue to get crankier, and worry even less about people who would scorn my dress sense. But for now, I'm still compelled to confirm more than I would like. ...

I have unintentionally (naively) kicked off very heated debate over this =broader= issue before. Many, possibly even most, see men wearing womens clothes as being transvestites. For me, and I'd like to think I speak from experience, this means a man dressing as a woman hoping to pass as a woman. The message is in the 'trans' bit; ie. 'to cross'. I think this term has a darker meaning in the US and maybe South America's where TV's are better known for their 'working' practices. But here in the UK, I would expect a transvestite to be a man who dresses to pass as a woman and only that. [been there, done that, got the T-shirt.] For me, a man who enjoys wearing attire that would otherwise only be worn by a woman, is a cross-dresser. [Note the difference, cross dresser, not cross-gender.] I'm very happy being male, and being attracted to women. Apart from my interest in wearing heels, and high heels at that, I'd say I pretty much confirm to the male stereotype. Womens jeans and trousers fit me better than mens, but that's to do with the cut, and what must be an anotomical problem I might have. Yet sat amongst fellows at a Fetish Fair [reported elsewhere] with these chaps wearing leather everything, they sniggered at me and others wearing heels. If those with slightly deviant tastes find men wearing heels amusing (sport for their sense of humour), does it bode well for people close to us, accepting our version of fashion? So far, the limited group I've told have not been surprised at all, with only my wife has voicing reservations. Then only about giving family members the opportunity to gossip or criticise her for her taste in husband. [Me and the mother-in-law don't get on that well. ] Obviously, positive comments about personal experiences from members would be welcome. ....

From the practical point ...... Shoes are more obvious if worn in the street ... by men. Boots can be a lot less obvious. But with my skinny legs, I can't wear long boots, they're just too baggy. So I'm kinda stuck with ankle boots. Now, seeing a girl or woman out wearing heels ..... I'd agree that high heeled boots do infer a stronger personality. ....

I'm going to keep this as oblique as I can, while conveying the story and its surprising progress. To protect the innocent, namely me ..... Walking around a store this afternoon, myself and my good lady wife spotted some very high heels being wore by a fairly attractive girl, also shopping with her husband/boyfriend. I asked my wife to find out where the girl purchased the boots, which given the circumstances of her asking, she was too embarassed to do. Now these boots were waaaay too high for her anyway, but a source is a source. Who knows what other styles the supplier might have? So ...... I went and asked. The girl was flustered, but only because she couldn't remember the name of the company she sourced them from. The name was on the tip of her tongue, but stood there - it just wouldn't come to her. She asked if there was some way she could contact me via the internet. I offered her an email address, not expecting to get a reply. Guess what? 2 hours later I got the source ..... I've no idea who she is or what her name was, [and I'm not about to start stalking her via email] but I'm really very pleasantly surprised at how much effort she must have gone to in helping us with the answer to a question, without any chance of a reward. The boots weren't the same as, but were similar to these: http://www.aldoshoes.com/static/webUpload/731/28_BARANSKI_95_6.jpg The boots we'd seen were leather with piping; so much less brash. And the height of those we'd seen looked higher too, perhaps a full 5 inches! Frankly, they were an extraordinaryly pleasant surprise. ....

Do you wear heels when they are around though? I told my mother, purposely avoiding telling my father. Even then, I can only remember showing my mother my heels once or twice at best. It's a problem with me [shame/embararressment maybe] certainly not a problem for her. She's is happy to keep it quiet too, though doesn't understand why I don't wear them full-time. [bless her.] ...

And of those, how many would you (could you) wear out in public? If I'm game enough, I'd like to think I'd wear most of mine, but I've started acquiring some court styles recently and I suspect some of these were very unlikely to get worn in public. I tend to own ankle boots. I've got shockingly slim legs so longer boots look like loose socks. ...

Ah.... You have to be a member there to see those if you've embedded them in the site. ....

Hello and welcome. If you've a shoe style of interest, please feel free to post some pictures here.