Shyheels Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 So - here we are several days into the New Year already. Anybody have any interesting New Years Resolutions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tacchi Alti Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 Nothing 'new'. Just getting people - specifically family and close friends - used to me in heels. What about you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyheels Posted January 3, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 (edited) A few resolutions. Some concerning cycling ambitions - 100, 150, and 200 mile day-rides I hope to do, and others concerning writing and photography goals. Having successfully lost a fair bit weight this year, I’d also like to finish this year at or slightly below the weight I started with. As to footwear my family is quite used to seeing me in my suede OTK boots (which are low-heeled) My more daring side is resolving this year to learn to walk really well in pair of stiletto boots... Edited January 3, 2018 by Shyheels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FastFreddy2 Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 8 hours ago, Shyheels said: My more daring side is resolving this year to learn to walk really well in pair of stiletto boots... Ahhh! You've joined the dark side ..... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FastFreddy2 Posted January 3, 2018 Report Share Posted January 3, 2018 Don't know about 'resolution', as I'm pretty useless at doing anything that needs anything beyond a moderate level of commitment ..... but .... Time is running out for sitting on walls regarding making any changes in my life. I'm fed up of being (practically) penniless with no regular income. I've a new camera that I've been playing with, and of the two bikes I could sell with a view to riding the other, I sold the wrong one. So I'm looking for a bike to ride - that I simply MUST use during the next couple of years. So, I need to cycle, get at least a part-time job. Take photographs that must also produce a small income (somehow). I also need to get out of a house that continues to find new ways of spending (my) money, and making my life uncomfortable. (I will not be buying another doer-upper, I also have to live in.) We still have no central heating (now almost 2 weeks) though all the (expensive) spare parts are here..... Staying healthy would be very agreeable. Had a scare in 2017 I don't want to repeat, though the outcome was good-ish. A year or two without root canal work would be nice, and no extractions even nicer. (Though I already know I need some on a tooth my dentist has been avoiding doing for at least a year.) Getting old(er) is only an attractive prospect, when the alternative is considered. I suppose if I were to sum it all up as succinctly as possible, it would be to 'grab life' even harder than I have so far. Quite a challenge when those around me are looking for a quieter, more sedate life .... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyheels Posted January 4, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 4, 2018 (edited) 5 hours ago, FastFreddy2 said: Ahhh! You've joined the dark side ..... Like Shakespeare's cat in the adage, I've let I dare not wait upon I would. For some time now I have been secretly fancying giving stilettos a go - boots, naturally; buying a pair of elegant knee boots with 4-5" stiletto heels and then learning to walk properly in them. Have to see now if I really dare to do it, hence New Years resolution...! Edited January 4, 2018 by Shyheels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyheels Posted January 4, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 4, 2018 3 hours ago, FastFreddy2 said: Don't know about 'resolution', as I'm pretty useless at doing anything that needs anything beyond a moderate level of commitment ..... but .... Time is running out for sitting on walls regarding making any changes in my life. I'm fed up of being (practically) penniless with no regular income. I've a new camera that I've been playing with, and of the two bikes I could sell with a view to riding the other, I sold the wrong one. So I'm looking for a bike to ride - that I simply MUST use during the next couple of years. So, I need to cycle, get at least a part-time job. Take photographs that must also produce a small income (somehow). I also need to get out of a house that continues to find new ways of spending (my) money, and making my life uncomfortable. (I will not be buying another doer-upper, I also have to live in.) We still have no central heating (now almost 2 weeks) though all the (expensive) spare parts are here..... Staying healthy would be very agreeable. Had a scare in 2017 I don't want to repeat, though the outcome was good-ish. A year or two without root canal work would be nice, and no extractions even nicer. (Though I already know I need some on a tooth my dentist has been avoiding doing for at least a year.) Getting old(er) is only an attractive prospect, when the alternative is considered. I suppose if I were to sum it all up as succinctly as possible, it would be to 'grab life' even harder than I have so far. Quite a challenge when those around me are looking for a quieter, more sedate life .... Yes, grabbing life - carpe diem! - is the best of all resolutions. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puffer Posted January 4, 2018 Report Share Posted January 4, 2018 Entering the 'new year' is one of my least favourite times. I have a strong nostalgic streak (medication awaited) and always feel sorrowful that the good and positive things of the past are, yet again, retreating in favour of unknown (and frankly uninviting) future prospects. (The uncertainties of Brexit and its divisive and disruptive effects on the UK do none of us any favours and I do fear the more anarchic elements that seem to be sharpening their weapons on the sidelines.) And making dubious resolutions is but one unwelcome but expected immediate chore. Like the others above, I suppose my main resolution is to get more out of life before old age, increasing deafness and the ever-tightening band of external red-tape preclude most of what small pleasures remain open to me. (Cue violins.) Heel-wearing ought to continue to feature, but will be constrained by my limited opportunities and the recent unwelcome discovery of my very low-key activity by my totally disapproving wife. Other than that, I will endeavour to maintain a reasonably healthy lifestyle - i.e. not putting on weight permanently and getting a little more exercise (through useful activity as I loathe any form of sport or work-out) and continuing to do my best to help my sons, stepsons and (now) grandchildren with their various property ownership and improvement/renovation problems - whilst not totally ignoring my own. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyheels Posted January 4, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 4, 2018 Sorry to hear that there is that measure of disapproval at what is a wholly innocuous bit of fun and fashion. My wife doesn't mind my OTK boots - I wear them all the time. Nobody really notices anymore. Mind you, they do not have heels (or rather they have just the standard sort of low heel you see on every shoe or boot) I have mentioned that I want to try a pair of stiletto boots - she thinks its a bit silly, a bit odd, a bit mystifying, but hardly a deal breaker. I guess I am lucky that way. By the same token I am not going to be in her face with it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puffer Posted January 4, 2018 Report Share Posted January 4, 2018 11 hours ago, Shyheels said: Sorry to hear that there is that measure of disapproval at what is a wholly innocuous bit of fun and fashion. ... That's almost the understatement of the year! My wife knew that I had a liking for high heels and that, years ago, I had bought a pair of stiletto courts (since disposed of). That was the cause of a big argument at that time but had not surfaced again. The recent 'discovery' was by chance when she thought (quite wrongly) that I was looking guilty about something and searched the area I had been in, finding one hidden pair of HH boots. (My other modest 'stash' was not found although she suspects it exists.) I was told in no uncertain terms that I was a pervert, a cross-dresser, a gay, etc etc, and that it made her feel sick. I denied all of that, naturally, and told her (truthfully) that it was a harmless and totally private 'interest' that had developed partly as an experiment (to see what heel wearing was like, as I admired heels on women) and partly because I found that my sporadic back troubles had benefited from walking in a modest heel. That appeared to cut no ice and she came very close to finishing our marriage on the spot. It so happened that I was then away from home for a couple of days and the dust was therefore able to settle a little. Strangely, nothing more has been said since - or wasn't until a few days ago when she indirectly threatened to tell her sons and mine about my 'sordid little secret' after I had annoyed her over another matter entirely. I don't respond to threats or blackmail and told her so. As you can tell, my home life is a bundle of fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyheels Posted January 4, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 4, 2018 What an astounding overreaction to a pair of shoes, and what wild assumptions to make on the base of it. I hardly know what to say other than that you have my sympathies. This does not sound like a terribly healthy relationship. My wife doesn’t really understand my liking for otk boots and is not much interested in talking about it, but neither is she the least bit upset by it, let alone threatening to end the marriage. She is quite conservative herself but not censorious, and is broadly tolerant of my fashion quirks. I hope you find some peace. And that she does. She sounds like a very angry person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FastFreddy2 Posted January 5, 2018 Report Share Posted January 5, 2018 (edited) 21 hours ago, Shyheels said: For some time now I have been secretly fancying giving stilettos a go - boots, naturally; buying a pair of elegant knee boots with 4-5" stiletto heels and then learning to walk properly in them. Have to see now if I really dare to do it, hence New Years resolution...! "The dark side calling. Be careful young Skywalker". 15 hours ago, Shyheels said: Sorry to hear that there is that measure of disapproval at what is a wholly innocuous bit of fun and fashion. My wife doesn't mind my OTK boots - I wear them all the time. Nobody really notices anymore. Mind you, they do not have heels (or rather they have just the standard sort of low heel you see on every shoe or boot) I have mentioned that I want to try a pair of stiletto boots - she thinks its a bit silly, a bit odd, a bit mystifying, but hardly a deal breaker. I guess I am lucky that way. By the same token I am not going to be in her face with it I had written at some length, and some time ago how I felt this works with partners - at least in my experience. I mean this not just for wearing heels, but regarding any quirky or 'faulty' behaviour. In summary, I suggested we (or our partners) are allowed to do unattractive/unusual stuff provided it isn't what we are all about. If 90% of our relationship brings pleasure, then we might get away with 10% "irritation". (This is a summary, and I use umbrella terms here I didn't use before.) Like you, I have a very good relationship with my partner, and she is okay with my peculiarities. Having known me for 40 years in total, she was made fully aware of my history, almost from Day 1 of our current (21 year) relationship. I repeat myself again by saying I tend to wear a heel when we are away from home, and when indulging in otherwise pleasant circumstances. I almost never (but not quite "never") wear a heel at home. I have a pair I sometimes wear for decorating, but they do have a practical benefit - if that benefit is both thin and potentially dangerous. I might wear a old pair of ankle boots with 5" heels, while I stand on a stool to work on ceilings... 2 hours ago, Shyheels said: What an astounding overreaction to a pair of shoes, and what wild assumptions to make on the base of it. I hardly know what to say other than that you have my sympathies. This does not sound like a terribly healthy relationship. My wife doesn’t really understand my liking for otk boots and is not much interested in talking about it, but neither is she the least bit upset by it, let alone threatening to end the marriage. She is quite conservative herself but not censorious, and is broadly tolerant of my fashion quirks. I hope you find some peace. And that she does. She sounds like a very angry person. Your analogy of the situation suggests your "crystal ball" was made by Carl Zeiss due to the clarity of the conclusion. I'm fully aware I have some sociopathic tendencies (although antisocial behaviour isn't one of them). Because of this, I've found it easier to make friends with people who are equally handicapped, or those who are more accommodating than most others. Put plainly, "I'm not everyone's cup of tea." Despite that, I have managed over time (approaching 50 years) to have enjoyed female company that has pretty much allowed me to do what I want, when I want. (I must have charms in other areas than make up for the peculiarities - obviously.) My mother, when she had her wits about her, used to say "he marches to his own tune". I prefer "he ploughs his own furrow". For the longest time, I thought my taste for a high heel was fairly unique. Not unique, but one that might not be shared by many, and those that did were either closet TV's or men destined to be TS. Ten years ago this last New Years, I put on some heels (drunk) and walked around in the dark for a good hour in shoes at least one size too small. It was a bit like meeting an old (good) friend. Within weeks I had a cheap pair of OTK boots my size that I wore out in weeks, and wore them out(side) in the dark reluctant to take them off. The internet, HHp, got me into understanding I wasn't alone - nor anything like as unique as I had thought. The message from this, is that men wearing a heel, either openly or not, just isn't that unusual. Many, many men might do it alone, many mght HAVE to do it alone - sadly. All of mine has been done right in front of Mrs F. She doesn't know the extent of the shoe collection, but neither would she be overly surprised to find out just how many shoes I own.... So okay, I went a bit nuts on shoe buying, that took a few years to work out .... But I had some catching up to do. I'm still into buying new styles, but nothing like I used to, and my heel wearing is stable to the point of being mundane. Not so much mundane when I wear them, but I don't worry about wearing them in public like I used to. As Puffer will I hope confirm, when I wear a heel, it's fairly discreet. I'm indulging in something I enjoy, I'm not trying to change the world... I can't say I'm completely devoid of negative experience in my heel wearing. I've at least one ex who is aware, who is very much, not a fan. But at the age of 60 she finds herself without a steady partner - and I have suggested to her why. "She wants what she wants, and nothing else will do." That's a hard slot to fill even in your 20's. Almost impossible when you are past 50 I would have thought. What I mean by this example is, folk who won't bend their rules, folk who won't accommodate the needs/wants of others, make great singletons. A marriage (partnership) is surely a compromise of two or more personalities, working together to achieve a better life for each other. Each contributes to the others well-being, providing help and support for a better life as a team than would be possible as singletons? Do I sound like a vicar? While it may suit some (my parents,) living in an adversarial environment isn't for me. That said, it kept my father going for 86 years, and my mother is approaching 90 so plainly it works for some. Edited January 5, 2018 by FastFreddy2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyheels Posted January 5, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2018 Indeed marriage is most certainly a compromise, and involves - or should involve - flexibility in thought and a willingness to look at things from other perspectives. My wife is very conservative, but she is also quite accepting of peccadilloes, tolerant even if she doesn't understand why they like, want, or do certain things. As long as it is nothing harmful or out-and-out unprincipled, she is quite laissez faire. My hankerings to own a pair of otk boots came as something of a surprise when I gave voice to them - indeed something of a surprise to me too, as although I liked the idea of wearing such boots, I had pretty much put the notion of actually doing something about it out of my head - in fact, looking back, I never seriously entertained the idea at all. I didn't obsess, but when the autumn fashions came out I would feel wistfulness and move on. Then one day, and for reasons I can't quite recall now, I decided that I would buy a pair. I mentioned it to my wife - I am not one for keeping secrets - and was pleased (but not terribly surprised) when she just shrugged and said why not? She doesn't understand it, and isn't terribly interested in talking about it, but she is certainly not upset by it. Last night I mentioned my New Years resolution to learn to walk well in stilettos and her response was - you're not walking on my wooden floors in stilettos! Or messing up the carpet. She was at pains to point out that this point of view of hers had nothing to do with my wanting to wear stilettos; that even if her stiletto wearing workmates came visiting they would have to remove them by the door. She is quite happy for me to practice in them on the walkway outside if that's what I want to do. She was not freaked out, just bemused. And practicing on the walkway works well for me. And I understand the bit about the floors and the new carpet she just had laid. Fair - a compromise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puffer Posted January 5, 2018 Report Share Posted January 5, 2018 10 hours ago, Shyheels said: What an astounding overreaction to a pair of shoes, and what wild assumptions to make on the base of it. I hardly know what to say other than that you have my sympathies. This does not sound like a terribly healthy relationship. My wife doesn’t really understand my liking for otk boots and is not much interested in talking about it, but neither is she the least bit upset by it, let alone threatening to end the marriage. She is quite conservative herself but not censorious, and is broadly tolerant of my fashion quirks. I hope you find some peace. And that she does. She sounds like a very angry person. As Freddy says above, your comments and conclusions are both clear and accurate. My marriage is unlikely to endure until one of us pops clogs; the incidents already mentioned being but one minor trigger to a break-up. My wife and I both have a stubborn streak, and some uncompromising views that often don't coincide, so some clashes are inevitable, but the crux of the matter is that anyone who does not conform to her ideals of conduct and attitude and doesn't work to her agenda is, at the very least, going to be the butt of repeated criticism. I live under the constant threat of a break-up on the grounds of either my (allegedly) unacceptable/perverted/deranged views or actions or because she no longer needs or wants anything I can provide. With her sons now grown-up and living away, her focus is on aiding an ailing mother (with my active help, I would add), but the time will come when that no longer applies and my wife will be able to free herself from her chains, notably including me, and she has often indicated her intention to do so. Are there any redeeming features in a marriage which she clearly feels has gone downhill to the point of being bitterly regretted? The answer is, thankfully, 'yes' (from my perspective at least) in that we are both hard-working, practical people with largely complementary skills who have together made a comfortable home for ourselves, together with a holiday home and many contributions to those of our five boys, her mother and her aunt. There are elements of synergy that should not be ignored but I have to say that we are both basically independent people who (like Freddy) like to plough our own furrows in our own way. We both have a previous failed marriage behind us and that perhaps tells its own story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyheels Posted January 5, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2018 Sounds like you need to start making plans. And with your kids grown up and seemingly no one under any illusions, you can do so with a clear conscience and even a sense of optimism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puffer Posted January 5, 2018 Report Share Posted January 5, 2018 6 minutes ago, Shyheels said: Sounds like you need to start making plans. And with your kids grown up and seemingly no one under any illusions, you can do so with a clear conscience and even a sense of optimism. Agreed. It is the physical aspects of breaking-up (house sale and moving etc), rather than anything purely financial or emotional, that provide the main stumbling block. Frankly, I have doubts that I could survive the turmoil. For the time being, better the devil you know ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyheels Posted January 5, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2018 Inertia is a powerful force! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FastFreddy2 Posted January 5, 2018 Report Share Posted January 5, 2018 7 hours ago, Puffer said: Agreed. It is the physical aspects of breaking-up (house sale and moving etc), rather than anything purely financial or emotional, that provide the main stumbling block. Frankly, I have doubts that I could survive the turmoil. For the time being, better the devil you know ... We humans are at the top of the food chain for a good reason, we are the most adaptable animals on the planet. While I understand your position, I think the 'cold reality' of a failed marriage and loss of the family home is underestimated by Mrs P, and your subsequent success at adapting to new circumstances, underestimated by your good self. A parting of the ways isn't really to anyone's benefit, but two intransigent forces colliding is always likely to have a poor outcome. As Shyheels says; "Inertia is a powerful force!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyheels Posted January 5, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2018 Sounds to me like there is some very good material here for New Years resolutions - one that will actually be quite meaningful as opposed to the usual wish lists of losing weight and getting fit. Reshaping your life, however you end up choosing to do it, would be a lofty and worthy goal. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyheels Posted January 7, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 7, 2018 My own New Years resolutions are taking another step forward - or one of them is at any rate, the one germane to this forum. Thanks to Freddy I have sourced some rubber protector tips for the stiletto heels which should offer protection for the wooden floors (I shall stay off the newly laid carpet altogether!) and have them on order. I can start to see this actually happening. (I am still some ways off one of my other New Years resolutions: that of completing a double imperial century ride on my bicycle!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FastFreddy2 Posted January 7, 2018 Report Share Posted January 7, 2018 8 hours ago, Shyheels said: (I am still some ways off one of my other New Years resolutions: that of completing a double imperial century ride on my bicycle!) 200 miles in 24 hours? Good luck! If you don't have cheeks like a baboon before, you'll certainly have them after! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyheels Posted January 7, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 7, 2018 My longest ever day’s ride on a bicycle is nearly 170 miles - I could most certainly have pressed on and gone considerably farther for I was extremely fit in those days and not at all bushed, but I had arrived where I was going and there was no need to go on. I was not riding to achieve any particular distance but rather to go somewhere - I was touring. I would expect 200 miles to take me 12-14 hours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FastFreddy2 Posted February 24, 2018 Report Share Posted February 24, 2018 About 10 days ago, I decided a good start to 2018 (despite it being mid-February at the time) would be to promise myself an hour a day in heels. The notion was it would 'keep my ankles supple", and give me some much needed exercise. Days achieved so far ..... 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyheels Posted February 25, 2018 Author Report Share Posted February 25, 2018 I included getting to know stilettos in my New Years' resolutions and have done well so far, although I'm a long way from catwalk grace, I daresay. I have two pair and wear them five days week around my office. Becoming quite used to the idea - physically, mentally and emotionally - of wearing stilettos every day, and like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcelheels Posted January 6, 2019 Report Share Posted January 6, 2019 Wearing more heels this year, for sure! And maybe a bit mote sports would do! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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