Will Posted December 23, 2007 Report Share Posted December 23, 2007 Long story short. I'm jealous that women get to wear high heels, and sad my wife seldomly does. She says they're expensive or hurt a lot, or look ugly, plus 101 excuses :-D . I really adore high heels a lot, since a kid . I would really love to try wearing them in public but am too afraid, and I need my wife to acompany me. (that is if she accepts my love affair with heels!) I don't like to hide stuff from my wife, but I definitely know she will flip out when I tell her I like to wear high heels. She's very strict and hard headed. We're happily married for two years. Some of you guys are extremely lucky to have a wife that understands your high heel adoration. So, how would I approach my wife on this? I read a post on another site saying it's best not to tell because she won't understand. If there's any other advice I'll appreciate it. and Merry Christmas and Happy New Years! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CassieJ Posted December 23, 2007 Report Share Posted December 23, 2007 Unfortunately, you are behind the curve. My wife knew about my fascination almost from the day we met. It wasn't a far leap to me wanting to wear them and wanting her to wear them. I think that all of those little secrets that will pop up during a marrage should be discussed prior to getting married. In your case, does she know you like heels (on women)? You could approach is as a question for her. Tell her you love heels and have always wondered what it was like to walk in them. Get a pair and let her know how much you love walking in them and grow from there. You never know where it will go. She may not like it at all or she may begin to enjoy it with you. Either way, you know and can decide how to proceed from there. Good luck! CJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will Posted December 23, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 23, 2007 Dear CJ, thank you soo much for your reply, I didn't know anyone cared :-D Yeah I have had bad experiences in the past. Like my sister getting angry at me for trying on her shoes, or my ex-girl who was shocked and scared when I told her I liked to wear high heels. I went to a Payless with my wife before and said "hey should I try on a pair of these heels" but she thought I was nuts. So I kept this secret to myself. But yeah I'll try your advice it sounds helpful. And yes she probably knows I like women wearing heels. Because everytime we pass a shoe store in the mall I try to pull her in but she refuses. Oh well, thanks again -W Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boot Guy Posted December 24, 2007 Report Share Posted December 24, 2007 Will, I was in your shoes, pardon the pun. I too love heels and boots especially. I was unsure of how my wife would react to my desires, but it has been about 8 years and I have about a dozen pair of boots and all is good. I can't remember exactly how I introduced her to my wants, but I can tell you that you need to start off with something not too outrageous. Try some calf boots with block heels that aren't too tall. 2-3 inches. Shoes seem more feminine than boots in my opinion and the block heel is easier to walk in and cowboy boots have them, so that helps. I would wear them around the house, but not everyday. You don't want to force them on her. After a while, I got more boots and I didn't want to hide them, so I talked to her and asked her thoughts. You MUST include her, don't just go about what you want and ignore her. As time goes on, you can tell if she is accepting of it, or maybe she will never accept you wearing heels. After you get your first pair, wear them and see how long it takes for her to say something. Tell her that it is something you always wondered about and wanted to try them on a trial basis. They were "On Sale" and you couldn't pass them up! Remember, baby steps and include her, but not too much. She might not mind you wearing heels, but might only want a limited amount of participation. I hope this helps. It is one of the hardest things you will do, but it will be worth it. Just realize that your desire to wear heels might be a deal breaker for her, so be prepared to make a decision; your wife or heels. Boot Guy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CassieJ Posted December 24, 2007 Report Share Posted December 24, 2007 I hope you get to where my wife and I are. She loves heels as much as I do and has encouraged me to wear them, recently in public. I have owned and worn heels in private since before we met. I own over 40 pair, mostly strappy stilettos and the like. Just before Halloween 07 I started wearing my black 5" (with 1" platform) patent mary janes. I wore them all the time at home and out for walks around our neighborhood (2 mile route we walk almost nightly). I wore them (very aprehensively) to the Halloween store and then, the mall. I fugured I would tell anyone that asked that they were for halloween and I was getting used to them (true). My wife pushed me to go places in them I was not comfortable...no one noticed and when they did, it was positive. Halloween was 3 different parties on 3 different days...I did all 3 in full drag and had no problems wearing the heels for over 8 hours at a time. Since, I have been wearing them out on weekends and evenings after work. My wife has bought me 5 pair since then that look like men's shoes with a heel. I would never be wearing them all the non-work time in public without my wife pushing me. She even waxed my legs and buys me skirts and dresses (I don't wear those out except on Halloween. She likes some 'kink' in our private lives.) I find it FUN to go in drag but I am not compelled like I am to wear heels. If I could pass 95% as female I would do it a lot more often cause I like it and it's fun. My wife does my makeup and is my security blanket out in public. I was thinking about going to MAC cosmetics and having them do my makeup to see if I can pass better than my wife's makeup job. I recently lost 60 pounds and really have a figure now so I would love to go out really hot. Back to wives...mine is awesome. I hope yours grows to let you follow your desires and supports you in all you do. Don't push too hard. Let her get used to it. If we can be of any help, please ask. Many here have been through the same thing with differing results. Good luck! CJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will Posted December 30, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 30, 2007 Wow Boot Guy, thanks for the valuable input, I really am thankful. Yeah, been looking at some boots for men with the 2.5" heel on Zappos. You got some great advice. True everyone's situation is different. I gave up many things for my wife (video games, living with parents, etc), and CJ, wow I must commend your abilities with those heels. Have you tried those 9" ballet boots, or those 7" stilettos with 3" platforms? I get sore for a week after walking in 3" heels for 30 mins :-D Hope to post a follow-up results in the future. Thank you Thank you Thank you guys! Have a Happy New Years! -Will p.s. one main reason my wife doesn't wear heels is because she doesn't want to appear taller than me. I'm only 5" taller than her, d'oh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 It's always tough when you have a secret you're keeping from someone close. To try to broach the subject with my wife in the early days (before we got married) I used all kinds of ploys, without straight out telling her. I would try her shoes on as "a joke", as we're similar size foot. I would comment on heels I saw while we were out shopping, and many other little hints. None of them got the message through and in the end it was just up to me to spell it out, I like heels, I'd like to wear them. She still isn't completely comfortable with it, although she has given me two pairs of shoes with lowish heels which she bought and doesn't like (women and their changing minds a?) and has taken pics for me of me in my heels. As for public heeling, she is against it except for one pair of the heels she gave me which are the ones in the linked image below. Not high but not normal mens height so it's a compromise. The advice I would give is be honest with your wife or girlfriend, don't push too hard to get what you want, each time I try to force things along it goes backwards, but if I plant a seed and let it grow in her mind and we get further forward towards what I want to do. Take it slow make small changes towards your heel wearing goals and allow your S/O time to adjust before going the next small step. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radiodave Posted May 28, 2008 Report Share Posted May 28, 2008 I was lucky enough to meet someone who eventually became my wife, but early on we started talking about what turns each other on. I told her high heels turned me on a bit, and she got some to wear. I finally let on that I was curious what it was like to wear them, and she was cool with letting me try them. She got me a pair, and that led to another pair... And so on. She wasn't as turned on by them, but she accepted that it was part of who I am. Sadly, we're going our separate ways (for other reasons), but we're still best friends and do things together. She even gave me some of her heels I'd bought for her when I moved into my new house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dacre Arlie Posted August 28, 2008 Report Share Posted August 28, 2008 :oops:I have been with my wife for 1 year now & dated for about 10 years before. Throughout our relationship I have told her how I loved her in very high heels. I just love how she looks in them and especially love the comments I get on her appearance from both men and women. I have always picked out her shoes for her and of course always buy between 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elegant Posted August 28, 2008 Report Share Posted August 28, 2008 Your wife may have become tired wearing heels, or just needs something different, so back off a bit and let her decide. Anyone should wear heels [or anything else, BTW] because they want to do it, not because someone else tells / convinces / presses them to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy Posted August 30, 2008 Report Share Posted August 30, 2008 Well said Elegant, putting pressure on people to wear something because you like it is not the way it should be. And being honest isn't that why all us guys are reluctant to wear heels, I know in my case it's because of the pressure from my wife to conform to her ideal of what shoes men wear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvmaryjanes Posted January 19, 2010 Report Share Posted January 19, 2010 I have to practice for a charity walk this summer so here I am in heels. I wore them one day for almost 12 hours. In three weeks I've logged 86 hours in heels in less than 4 weeks. There are times my toes express their feelings but matter how much they hurt I HATE to take them off. I told her tonight I just feel happy in them. I could tell by her look it wasn't something she understood at all especially when they hurt when she used to wear them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted January 20, 2010 Report Share Posted January 20, 2010 I have to practice for a charity walk this summer so here I am in heels. I wore them one day for almost 12 hours. In three weeks I've logged 86 hours in heels in less than 4 weeks. There are times my toes express their feelings but matter how much they hurt I HATE to take them off. I told her tonight I just feel happy in them. I could tell by her look it wasn't something she understood at all especially when they hurt when she used to wear them. you might want to reassure her that you are not going to take it any further and you just like the heels, she might be wondering if you are going to start wearing womens clothes. we have seen post like this in the past from wives wondering where it is going to stop, in those cases they have been reassured that it needn't go any further. Of course if it is more than that, you need to get that off you chest too. Just read the post earlier, jeez, did that guy really marry his wife because she wore heels? what and idiot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrappycoco Posted January 10, 2011 Report Share Posted January 10, 2011 Long story short. I'm jealous that women get to wear high heels, and sad my wife seldomly does. She says they're expensive or hurt a lot, or look ugly, plus 101 excuses . I really adore high heels a lot, since a kid . I would really love to try wearing them in public but am too afraid, and I need my wife to acompany me. (that is if she accepts my love affair with heels!) I don't like to hide stuff from my wife, but I definitely know she will flip out when I tell her I like to wear high heels. She's very strict and hard headed. We're happily married for two years. Some of you guys are extremely lucky to have a wife that understands your high heel adoration. So, how would I approach my wife on this? I read a post on another site saying it's best not to tell because she won't understand. If there's any other advice I'll appreciate it. and Merry Christmas and Happy New Years! Ok Will I maybe able to help you a little on this one. My wife is that same way she use to wear heels all the time when she was younger and didn't have any kids. Now that we have 2 girls she has gotten into mom mode I call it. Her sense of style and self has went right out the window. For me ans wearing heels with her has been a very long and up hill battle. I have loved the way womens clothing has looked every since I was a kid. I had the type of parents that would never let that happen. So for so many years I had to represse my sense of self and style of clothing I liked to wear. With that being said when I started dating my wife she had this skirt and hose she would let me wear from time to time. Any way long story short I slowly fazed thing''s in on her. Along the way I had to prove to her that 1 I still loved her and care for her 2 that just becuase I like to wear a certian style of clothing weather it's mens or womens I am still a man and that will never change 3 I have had to show and prove to her that I am not interested in being a women. I am perfectly happy being me! So those are something's to keep in mind when dealing with your SO and heels or any other odd thing for a man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobHH Posted January 11, 2011 Report Share Posted January 11, 2011 (edited) I have seen plenty of women who have very strong ideas of right and wrong relating to dress and behavior, and little tolerance for any deviations from the "norm." My first wife was like that to a large extent. My second wife was totally accepting of me and what I wanted to do, and vice versa. She liked high heels and wore sexy ones when she was younger, and got compliments from other people. It was still trauma time to raise the issue with her, but she was totally accepting and even encouraging to me. We were very dedicated and supportive of each other and very happy together. But she is no longer with us. Sometime short girl friend, older, doesn't wear much in the way of heels. I gradually broke her in to mine, and when she saw me in stripper stilettos, she said they were very sexy. No problems there, but we are different in other areas. Two other lady friends, both very tall but no heels, are also very accepting, even to going in public. Basically, I would no longer get involved with anyone who is intolerant of variation from norms of dress or behavior. They have to be accepting of me and what I am, and I have to be the same with them. I feel sorry for those who don't have that tolerant, supportive relationship, but people seem to get into those situations a lot. Edited January 12, 2011 by BobHH 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FastFreddy2 Posted January 12, 2011 Report Share Posted January 12, 2011 Bob, If ever I was going to need a reason to get sentimental, that last post was going to be it. I'm sorry for the loss of the loved one, who was undoubtedly your soul-mate. Seems to me that you're making the most of the cards you've been dealt having already played the best hand you'll ever see. You are an inspiration. If I live long enough to be half the man you are, I'll consider my life a success. ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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