Tacchi Alti

Yes, I remember that ad. I loved it but didn't know anyone else who would!

The 8 in those boots was fine. 7 would have been too small.

Do you still have the Aldo boots. I'm lusting after them, particularly as one of the heels on the others I had from you seems to have bent sideways, so they're not stable. No discredit to you, and I have no idea how it happened. I was just aware of my left foot wanting to go over sideways the last time I wore them.

Are they what's known as wanklepackers.

My synthetic boots are fine this weather but I wouldn't want to wreck my leather ones.

An extremely good reason, and one likely to bring this conversation to an end!

I have some shoes with a similar profile and heel. Yes, one of the shoes has a crease right across the toe about an inch from the end. They're my wear-everywhere heels - definitely men's shoes and thus people have no right to be offended. I'd like them higher, as they don't solve my back problem, but they're a start for very conservative people getting used to my heels and added height. I am probably one of the few who wishes heels didn't add to your height! I have no wish to be taller although I'm 5' 8" and shrinking.

Well, I congratulate you on your reluctance to separate as I hate marriage splits. I suppose such a thing would also involve split of assets etc... No, I don't want to know about that situation but it was just something that comes to mind which could well be a strong factor. It would be with me!

My wife seemed to understand better when I told her my heels were a hobby, which explained why I had so many! She realised that if I got rid of them I'd only end up buying more, which would be a waste of money. We went through that one 15 years ago. She still resents anything I spend on shoes, though, although she can spend far more herself on other things! She gets a bit annoyed when I remind her she's paying quite a bit every month for gym membership... However, she goes along with them and will be seen out with me while I'm wearing them, so a lot of progress has been made. Think of that in the context of a 31-year marriage and you can see how long it took, and why I'm grateful for the state of things now!

Puffer, what you say about tolerating the position with your wife, and the way you have been able to confront issues in a professional sphere, is rather conflicting, and a conundrum to me! I'm sure others here will rush in with an explanation to help me understand. I admire your willingness to ditch all your heels if it would help your relationship, but believe me, it won't! It's true what Freddy said about women remembering every little detail of misdemeanours. My wife does that, while I've generally forgotten all about them - and hers - and we have a very good relationship!

That's the big problem! A lot of people who would benefit from it can't be persuaded to go. It needs a plea from the other party at least to try it to humour him/her, but then the whole nature of failing/difficult relationships is disagreement as a default. We need counselling on how to get the other party to agree to it...

My wife and I went for sex counselling (not relationship counselling) a few years ago to see if we could get more enjoyment (things had gone downhill after my wife had a serious illness and for some reason she found it very difficult to orgasm), or whether we'd just have to accept things as they are. I'm not going into that (!) but obviously our relationship was explored and my desire for heels and - to a lesser extent - stockings etc was mentioned. I was gratified in that the counsellor took my side, in that I wasn't doing anyone any harm. As I said, and she agreed, it's not as though I'm going about mugging old ladies. My wife reluctantly had to agree, but I haven't pressed the dressing side as I know that's something she really dislikes. I'm just really grateful that this helped with my heel wearing. My reason in writing this is that counselling, with a disinterested third party, can be very good, as someone who is emotionally detached can see things objectively and has a certain authority as the counsellor. I know it can be a problem, though, getting the other partner to admit to it being a good idea.

Thanks. They were awaiting me when I got home an hour ago. I'm now wearing them and they are quite comfortable. One big plus is that the heels are not at all loud, so at least I won't be drawing attention to myself in that way. The heel is just right for me. High enough to remember I'm wearing them when I try to run, but not too high that I can't walk naturally in them. I was wrong about my wife's reaction: it was 'MORE boots???' Anyway, she's now out so I'll have them on when she gets back. I'll be interested to find out her reaction to them. Apart from them having a block rather than a wedge heel they're ideal.

I have a pair of ankle boots with 4.5 inch block heels due to arrive today. I intend wearing them regularly as they are more masculine than most boots I've seen - slightly thicker (but not platform) sole and rounded toe. It's just that the separate heel is more visible than the wedge. I'll see what my wife thinks of them... 'ANOTHER pair of shoes!!!!' Actually, I got a pair the same a few weeks ago but kept them elsewhere. One of the zip tags broke the first time I tried to put them on as the zip was quite stiff, so I'll make sure I move it up and down a few times first to make it run more freely before I put the boots on. Unfortunately my favourite wedges are falling to bits - all four pairs of them! I snapped them up every time I saw a pair on Ebay. The synthetic uppers are cracking right across the toe on every pair. It's probable the material's got brittle with age, as the first pair were fine. The heels wore out before anything like that happened. I just cannot find a pair of 'masculine' wedges, boots or shoes, sufficiently high to replace them.

As I said, I've never had that although I was expecting it. If anyone does comment or enquire, I have another reason for wearing heels apart from just liking them - they are good for my back. That should convert ridicule (thinking packs of teenagers) to sympathy if necessary! On the hhplace site there is someone who has a similar condition, and his philosophy is that as he has to wear them he might as well make the most of it, so he mostly wears stilettos. I love the thought of being in stilettos, and have worn them a few times in public, but I probably need to keep things in 'poor cripple' rather than 'look at me' mode if my backache reason is to be believable! Discretion is the better part of valour, and all that. :-)

I've come to it over the last few years that I should worry less what people think of me. Someone once said, 'If someone wouldn't cry at your funeral why bother about their opinion?' It's a tightrope walk (in heels!) with self-fulfilment on one side and not wanting to cause offence on the other. As with all things, often we find the right balance (in heels!) a problem. I'm very fortunate in that my wife accepts the situation, and my mother and mother-in-law (both local) have never commented. One of my sons has definitely noticed my heels, and I'm pretty sure that when I visit my mother in her rest home the first thing most of the staff look at is my feet! I wore my concealed heels to my other son's house at Christmas, and took them off in the hall. (No shoes in the house, thank you!) He, his wife and her parents would have passed them, and I think they'd have noticed something 'unusual' about them. Incidentally, my daughter-in-law never wears heels, and neither do her mother or sister. I've found that the main thing is to act as though wearing heels is the most natural thing in the world and just be my usual self. The worst thing you can do is to look furtive and ashamed of what people might think.

I can empathise completely with the matter of friends and family, who are unlikely to understand, and I don't want to offend people I care about. Some know I wear them, and have never commented. My 16-year-old nephew stayed with us for a few days last year and I was determined not to let that make a difference, seeing it was my house. I wore my boots with concealed heels and I know he noticed because he glanced at my wife, then looked away, one time when I was kneeling down getting something out of a cupboard. The profile of the heel must have caught his eye, although they are amongst the most subtle styles I've seen. My wife told me that afterwards. Her attitude is that if I'm to wear heels I should be able to be open about it with everyone, so she couldn't complain about me wearing those boots nearly all the time while he was with us.

You're extremely fortunate, and I'm sure you know it and appreciate it/her. I assume she's OK with you wearing stilettos in public? Mine draws the line at that but I'm very happy she agrees to us going out together with me in more restrained styles.

You're very fortunate. My wife is a conundrum in that she's not interested in clothes although she has a good eye for coordination and style. She used to wear heels about 2.5 inches and still does occasionally, but she doesn't understand my love of wearing them. She hates clothes shopping. She gets most on Ebay. I have far more shoes than she does, and nearly all of them have higher heels than any of hers. I have more heels than flat shoes, and now rarely wear men's shoes apart from some Cuban heel loafers which have heels just under 2 inches. People are used to me wearing those to church etc so it's a matter of slowly pushing things amongst close friends/church members, who of course tend to be the most 'conservative' when it comes to clothes.

I agree. I admire Puffer's patience! He must love his wife a lot to put up with her hypocrisy. Unfortunately some otherwise intelligent people (not just women!) have blinkered and illogical views on any sort of straying from what is regarded by them as socially acceptable. Interestingly, one of my wife's questions when I 'came out' to her was, 'Are you gay?' I've since found that's a common reaction and seen a lovely reply: 'If you wear flat shoes are you a lesbian?' I think a lot of women feel threatened and insecure if they see a man straying over the boundaries they like to impose, although it's perfectly OK for them to wear/do what they like. Trousers and trainers are men's wear, aren't they? I doubt many women are without either, although there are a few (both sexes) who don't approve of women in trousers for that very reason. Ultimately a lot of our clothing has evolved as a result of fashion, not because of any actual male/female difference, but some people don't see that. Hence the fact that high heels were originally men's wear, but try telling a blinkered hypocrite that!

I hadn't seen the later pictures when I wrote that. Most outfits look better with red stilettos...

Or in private! I suppose some might think high heels just as unthinkable as this 'style'. Has the model been plugged into the mains?

It seems that as my heels go up, my wife's go down! I don't blame her as she's had knee problems and also tends to walk on the side of her foot, thus wearing shoes unevenly. Anyway, she's happy for her to wear flats and for me to wear heels, so I'm not complaining. I've ordered a pair of block heel boots off Ebay so will see what they are like and what she thinks of them! I can't work out exactly what styles she prefers on me - wedges or block heels, boots or shoes. I've asked her that when she's expressed disapproval about a particular pair but she hasn't given a definite answer.

Yes indeed. Embarrassment is a big thing. I'm not sure quite how far I can push things right now, although she has been OK travelling with me in 4 inch block heels Oxfords and being with me when I wore them in the company of close friends. I'm hoping to get some 4.5 inch block heel ankle boots and see how she is with those. I really wish I could find shoes more easily. Boots are quite easy, but 'masculine' shoes are very difficult to find, and sandals are almost impossible although I have one pair of those I wear in public when the weather's warmer!

Practice... Would she be OK with you wearing them in public?