Puffer

So, you've met my wife?? (In case you're unsure - she was the woman without a man who looks just like me.)

Thursday ...? So am I, let's go for a drink!

Eh? Sorry - can you repeat that.

I was certainly not advocating using white spirit in the bedroom - I was suggesting its use other than in relation to bedroom activity! If all else fails, read the instructions ...

I assume the emboldened text is a reference to 'removal of bitumenous compound' and not to some form of subsequent bedroom activity? If so, white spirit is your friend.

I think that the same effect could be got, more cheaply and with complete flexibility as to size, by applying a couple of coats of Synthaprufe* to bare legs. As long as the 'wearer' didn't get bored with the look too quickly ... *Other bitumenous compounds are available.

'BA' = 'Bloody Awful'? Lots of claims for compendsation: £150m+ it would seem.

If you really must wear these 'waders', there are some at an affordable (apparently discounted) price here: http://www.lollicouture.com/shoes-boots-tslo1-m48-14navybluesatin.html

Better worn by a man, then? Not an attractive fashion, regardless of the obscene price.

And, in much the same vein, be very wary of lending money to a friend, even if on a commercial basis and properly recorded in writing. When the friend gets into financial difficulty, the friendship will do nothing to assist with the repayments - or the litigation, or the bankruptcy ... If you must make such a loan, taking a charge over the friend's house makes sense - but may not be regarded as a very 'friendly' thing to do.

Enjoy your trip - and the weather. The first time I went to Florida (c1988), I was assailed (very pleasantly) throughout my stay by what I assumed to be the fragrance of orange blossom (or somesuch native flora). Only at the end of the holiday did I realise that I had been smelling the protective cream I had been applying daily to my face as a sunscreen! Although I was happy to return to Florida a few years later, I did think twice - on the basis that another tube of cream would have been a much cheaper purchase!

The sandals look a little large on her, and combined with that set-back heel, it looks somewhat as if she is about to walk out of them!

I'm not sure what steps you should have taken if you wanted to get acquainted with those girls, Freddy - except that they would have needed to be tall ones, and probably with a handrail! Yes, if indeed you do. Your motor insurance will be endorsed at next renewal with a 'Gawking at girls in heels' exclusion.

I'm not altogether fussy whether they are truly 'ladies' - but any female in heels is welcome company, and (being tall), I'm perfectly amenable to my companion being likewise. I did once have a few outings with a very presentable female who was 6'0" in her bare feet and, in modest heels, just about the same height as me; an interesting experience and by no means unpleasant. ('So, you went out with Puffer - how could you stoop so low?') Yes, a stroll along the Prom in Nice was enjoyed during my half-day there, some 10 years ago. Don't be put off cruising by the thought that it is pretentious or unduly luxurious and expensive. It can be (on certain ships and itineraries) but it is perfectly possible to have a week's cruising in warm Med waters, for example, for £500 - all inclusive apart from drinks - and even less if a late booking or other deal comes up, as it often does. (You don't really believe that I 'push the boat out' on my annual holiday, do you?) I do recall an event on board much as Shyheels mentioned; I forget the port in question. The harbour was small and not too easy to enter and the master had not berthed there before, as he admitted when announcing our impending arrival. But he made a perfect entry, controlling the vessel from an auxiliary position on one side, midships, where he could judge everything more easily - and deservedly got a round of applause from those of us watching the exercise. As he left the controls and passed me, I couldn't resist saying (in best Tony Hancock manner): 'Nice parking, squire - you've obviously done this before.' He had the decency to thank me!

Being tall with some sporadic back pain, I require anyone shorter to wear heels when in my company for the reason you suggest. Yes, forget about parking anywhere in the Green City of Brighton & Hove, especially within tottering distance of the seafront. I've been to Nice and I think parking is indeed easier and cheaper there - certainly, my cruise ship had no mooring problems!

If I wore those, pulled right up as intended, I'd have to go fishing to find my own fly! I believe that much cheaper copies are available from China, but only up to USW10.

But not, I trust, in 'lies and damned lies ...', as Disraeli opined ...

My 'prior engagement' (supra) was a family friend's 60th birthday party, held in a rather crowded private room at a local golf club. Better than usual for such an event (although very few notable heels), with a competent male 'Elvis and Shakin' Stevens' tribute act, singing to recorded tracks of those and other artistes, particularly of the late 50s/early 60s. A pleasant change from the 1970s+ pop rubbish that is invariably dished out by some spotty DJ at such functions. But I had had enough by 10.30 and made the short journey home where I inadvertently found the tail end of Eurovision voting was in progress, which my wife insisted on watching and I reluctantly joined her before my now-overdue bedtime. I haven't a clue how the system (?) worked but it seemed that loads of votes were coming in at the end from somewhere to change the positions of many of the countries, albeit not Portugal as winner. I still don't understand any of it or how the winnining entry (which appeared to have no discernable substance) got there. But, if it (just) keeps WW3 at bay ... Talent show? I saw more talent in the tribute act at the party.

Fortunately, I have a prior engagement tonight. But if otherwise I would be watching some paint dry. And, yes, I do remember Frank Ifield - and Pearl Carr & Teddy Johnson, Bryan Johnson, Ronnie Carroll ... from the time when 'popular music' was worth listening to (and women knew how to dress, on or off stage).

On Tuesday, I had to travel to just north of Hastings to pick up some special tiles for a building refurb. I decided to drop into Hastings for a couple of hours afterwards before going on to deliver the tiles etc. I know the town but only go there occasionally; like many seaside towns (notably Margate), it has seen better days and still has its fair share of run-down property and unemployment but there are signs of a renaissance. (Usual disclaimer: other investment opportunities are available.) I parked, as usual, about half a mile north of the town centre where free street parking is available for two hours and walked into the centre. I was wearing my ‘cowboy boots’ (pic below) under ordinary-length straight-leg jeans. They have a 2.75” slim block heel and are both comfortable and discreet, although the fact that I was wearing a ‘high heel’ (by men’s standards) would have been pretty obvious to any onlooker and I expect that I was spotted, although I detected no adverse reaction. An hour or so in the town centre was sufficient; there are only a few shops that are worth a look. New Look had a fair selection of more fashionable styles, including a number of sale bargains with some as cheap as £3 and a sprinkling of larger sizes (up to UK9) and wider fittings. I was about to leave when two men (30s) wandered into the ladies shoe section and started to look round One of them had long hair tied back in a bunch and appeared to be wearing some make-up, although not otherwise of a particularly feminine appearance or camp in manner. Whether he found something nice to wear, I don’t know; there was certainly nothing that would have fitted me. The other shop I visited, Diechmann, has a limited range of women’s shoes up to size Eu44 but, regardless of size, nothing remotely exciting. It was too early for lunch so, after an uneventful stroll back to the car, I drove on towards the north Kent coast, stopping briefly at Morrisons in Canterbury for fuel and a few necessities in the supermarket – notably including the very good value £3 ‘meal deal’: a tasty help-yourself ‘medium’ salad, drink and pastry. With a little planning, it is surprising how much assorted salad can be crammed into the plastic box and I was certainly ready for what was now a late lunch! I was still wearing the boots and again got no reaction. Maybe I was half wanting someone to notice and indicate surprise, curiosity, approval, disgust or whatever …? All in all, a minor and uneventful excursion. Encouraging it its way and perhaps prompting something a little more daring in the future.

According to the Goldhawk Road Gazette, the police were looking for a man who had been reported as acting furtively in several shoe shops '... whilst brandishing a stiletto...' and walking unsteadily.

An interesting afternoon, Freddy, despite the not-too-encouraging weather. What was your footwear, please - and did your feet complain? You say that you walked (from Covent Garden area) to the Strand 'down a steep gradient'. As I recall, the area north of the Strand is only a little higher, whereas it is distinctly steep from the Strand towards the Embankment (e.g. down Villiers Street), close to which you say you enjoyed your comestibles. Did you mean that you walked downhill from Strand to Embankment - in which case I much admire your ability to do so in heels? I've seen women struggle on that descent. But, as you imply, the return uphill is a lot easier, albeit with a risk of nosebleed. I am likely to go on a modest expedition tomorrow (to acquire some special tiles for a building refurb) which will afford an opportunity for a diverting stroll around a town that I visit only rarely. I shall probably wear my 'cowboy' boots with 2.75" heel; I don't think that anything more adventurous will be safe, alas. Fortunately, although the town is quite hilly, I don't need to stray from the flatter areas.

I don't underestimate the challenge of walking in a platform; I'm not surprised to know that such is often the case. My comment was primarily aimed at the appearance; few platforms are attractive to my eyes, although Euchrid's boots were not nearly as 'bottom heavy' as many. And the platform may significantly reduce the effective rise of a boot or shoe, so making the stated '5" heel' (or whatever) somewhat less of an achievement than this measurement suggests. But, each to his own ...

Well done, Euchrid! But it would have been better going (and better looking) if a REAL 5" rise - i.e. no platform. Nice selection, Freddy. Imho, the Carvela boot is the most elegant.