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Mrs Freddy is very tolerant of me and my heeling activities. She is very tolerant of me in general really .... Long story short, she has always been aware of my taste for looking at girls in heels (her included), and my background in wearing them too. We had been together for well over ten years when I started wearing them again. It's not what she would prefer (which is actually me back in a suit), but she's realistic. It's too strong in me to ignore, and it means she gets to go shopping for shoes fairly often. In fact it means she gets to go shopping in large malls or shopping areas like the West End quite often. Much, much much more than any of her social circle. It's seen as a win/win really. I'm often pleasantly surprised she will hold my hand or my arm as we walk, indicating we are a couple, which is the best camouflage I know of. I also have one or two other 'ladies' that have been around (one that is still around) for heeling company when Mrs Freddy is busy or tired/working. I am lucky, and I know I am. I have to say though, given my ineptness overall, I could only ever have a long-term relationship with someone who is as tolerant as Mrs Freddy appears to be. The thing with the shoes, is another straw on a heavily laden relationship, but I help just enough (usually) to avoid disasters. It may not seem it here, but I can be quite charming when a situation calls for it. Most women I'm sure, would be very resistant. But headstrong women (anyone resembling my mother in fact) could not be part of my life if I have anything to do with it. I'm big on easy going, which suits very few of the female gender. I don't drink or gamble. I don't smoke (sorry), and other than a little/mild OCD I've no real vices. So an interest in heels is a cheap (relatively) interest with side advantages like my need to get out in the world where other people are. I almost never wear heels at home, from choice. I don't wear outdoor shoes at home, so why would I with heels? I can also put a meal together, wash/iron/decorate/repair just about anything that's worth repairing in the home ... On paper at least, I think I'm seen as an asset rather than liability. The downside for me, is that some days (Sunday) herself will buy shoes and I don't. She also has a seriously vast collection of largely unworn clothing, most of which is attractive to look at while she's wearing it. This, while I pretty much live out of a small plastic storage box as she has all the wardrobe/drawer space. These situations have been discussed before your arrival here, by (now less active) members, who looked to make progress in a similar situation. I'm fairly sure there were reports of change, though not always for the better. Euchrid, who pops in from time to time, has had some interesting experiences over the last couple of years, but these might be more comprehensively reported on HHp. I recently discovered what is for me, a new 'cyber' acronym care of a You Tube video: YOLO. You Only Live Once. I'm doing my bit to ensure I have as few death-bed regrets as possible. I'll have bucket loads I'm sure, but I'm trying to minimise them. P.S. Additional picture added above.

Interesting experiences, Freddy. My two-pennorth, for what it's worth: 1. I do like those M&S boots (having looked back to your earlier posting about them) and I did then say that I thought they had a good side profile. I don't think I ever said that they were not obvious, but I certainly feel that they are appropriate for male public wearing. It is probably the thinness of the heel (from the rear) rather than the height that makes them rather obviously not a male boot. I can't say I'm surprised that they got noticed (despite, presumably, being partially concealed under trousers) but as most of the onlookers weee neanderthals, their reactions can be largely discounted. 2. I'm in Kent, so Bluewater is more accessible to me although I have rarely been there. If going to Lakeside, I have the comparable Dartford problem. Although I share your dislike of the crossing (traffic and cost) and don't often need to use it, I have opened an account, which reduces the charge to £1.67 and avoids the aggravation of remembering to pay each time. My wife's car is on the same account. 3. Yesterday apart, do you find Bluewater a good place for heeling generally? I imagine it is large enough and anonymous enough to 'get lost', barring the chances of meeting an acquaintance. 4. I sympathise regarding the 'abduction' episode; it is very difficult to know what to do for the best. I have seen or been involved in a couple of similar situations over the years and it is easy to feel (or be accused of being) in the wrong if intervening. And I remember on one occasion a naughty little boy running away from his mum inside a shop and literally falling over my feet as he dashed outside. What else to do but help him up, winded - and then to be accused by the emerging mother of interfering with him in some way. Fortunately, the whole thing was witnessed by another pedestrian, who immediately made it very clear to mum - and suggested that her lack of control was disgraceful! As a father of two and stepfather to three (all boys), I find the suggestion that I might be interfering with kids very offensive - but I suppose understandable in this over-sensitive and over-protective world. 5. On a general point not immediately obvious to me, although implicit from your various posts, is it the case that your wife understands/tolerates/supports your liking for heels? As she appears to be aware of your collection and sometimes accompanies you when you wear them (and buy them?), I suppose she must be at least tolerant - in which case I envy you.

Went to Bluewater today, Sunday. Wore my M+S (very) pointed toe cowboy style boots. Despite one or two here saying they don't look very obvious (Puffer ) at least 2 family groups made a point of walking past me and Mrs Freddy, just to have a look at my footwear. A third group didn't so much make a point, they just noticed. Another (young) girl waiting for her mum/sister to come out of the changing room, nearly put a crease in her chest with her chin, staring at my feet. To be fair, she did stare at Mrs Freddy's shoes too.... Several other individuals noticed them, but as I was walking past them, they only got the barest of glimpses. Although Bluewater is my favourite place to shop in the whole world, it is on my banned list thanks to those responsible for hiking up the Dartford Toll to £2-50 a trip AND firing all the staff manning the tolls, I won't/don't use the crossing if I have a choice. Today I went to Kent to buy a bike advertised on an auction site as "used" but in good condition. I have a particular reason for wanting the bike, so made the 160 mile round trip passing Bluewater/using the Dartford crossings to get there. On arrival, or at least within 2 minutes of it, I knew the bike wasn't coming home with me. It had a number of undisclosed gouges out of at least one of the seat-stays. Something the idiots selling the bike thought wasn't a problem. A flat tyre isn't a problem. A rusty cable isn't a problem. A spot or two of missing paint, isn't a problem. Gouges in the thin walled aluminium tubing that supports my weight as I hack over rough terrain, IS a problem.... there were at least three of these around the same place on the drive side seat stay. To me the bike was scrap. I wasn't impressed. Had a better time at the shopping mall though. Despite the (rude) staring. So did Mrs Free who got some very well made heeled shoes for £60, reduced from the sticker price of £225. As I said to Mrs Freddy, I have/had spent too much time trying to please others, it's now time to please me. I want to wear a heel, and I'm old enough to know it's now or never. My only regret, is that I left it so late to wear them out so often. Better late than newer. Plus, the last family to walk past, that consisted of 5 or 6 people who had been sitting in the cafe where only two groups were sat - us and them with the heel of my boots in plain sight to them ..... Were so plain/unattractive, there was nothing they could say or think that could surpass my criticism of them. I'm not usually mean, but they practically walked around the whole gaff to have a look at us, and believe me when I say this .... the group looked like they hadn't married outside the family for some considerable time. As Mrs Freddy said in her (sometimes) supportive way, at least I can take my shoes off. Not that I'm an oil painting, but at least I wash my hair and my clothes occasionally, and don't look like I've spent half my life under a sun-bed.... The 'near-miss' was the first family .... I have a mate, who married a younger woman from a country where the people there have a bit of colour in their skin. This fella in the shop today, was so similar in looks and stature, for a couple of heartbeats, I thought it was him. Undecided, I saw him talk to a younger looking woman with a bit of colour to her skin (olive) before she turned around to look in my direction ..... It was the young lad with them that finally gave them away really, as my mate and his wife don't have any children together. I was quite relieved I don't mind saying. While we don't share a common social circle, he knows a lot of people, and a good few of them know me. Disaster avoided ..... So feeling relieved .... I wasn't too bothered the "word in her ear" was about my footwear. She had turned to spot me, and after mumbling something back, she nearly walked in a different direction to her partner trying to glimpse at my footwear. She stopped smiling when she realised I was watching her, watching me ... The three of them didn't stop again on their journey out of the store. One other thing (NOT heel related) ...... We often read shocking and distressing things about children in the media. When we entered the mall at Bluewater, Mrs Freddy used the loo and I stood outside. While she was absent, a fella walked past me and several other men on waiting duty, toward the car park. He had a screaming/distressed child over his shoulder, who was shouting "I want my mummy. I want my mummy. I want my mummy". Now you would think, SOMEONE would ask WTF was going on, wouldn't you? This fella had, as far as anyone could tell, walked off with someone else's child. People looked (the child was screaming quite loudly), but no-one did a thing. Well, nearly no-one. I was wearing 4½ inch heels, and quite noisy heels at that. I was loathe to move anywhere without an escort for fear of getting any more attention than I might already have .... So I was compelled to wait for Mrs Freddy ..... As soon as she re-appeared we followed what I hoped was mum and child #2 up the ramp to the car park. We walked across the car park to make sure, and she was. Dad and child #1 were sitting in the car already. (Easy to spot, large number on his white tee-shirt.) Had that not been the case, my phone and three key presses on the number 9 was my next move. Mrs Freddy usually thinks I'm nuts when I try to carry out my civic duty, but this time she was very much 'on-side'. What I can't believe, is that no-one else did anything to ensure he wasn't a kidnapper. "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil, is that good men do nothing." Anon. (Attributed to Edmund Burke, but not found in his writings.)