Heel meets

[gjogj]

This tread is all about social events to meet likeminded people. I got some feed back when I asked for people willing to attend a heel meet in the Netherlands or Belgium. See that discussion here http://heels4men.net/topic/954-nlbe-meet/#comment-8068.

Heel meets are events with  a social character. What would make a heel meet succesfull for you and what would you require to consider attending a heel meet?

I am interrested to learn your ideas.

[FastFreddy2]

Some may not believe this, but I like to socialise with like-minded people. I'm willing/able to put some energy into help produce a meeting of those who might like to put faces to 'names', including mine.

In meeting other people, I am aware they won't have my background (rough), might be better educated. Might have less education (hard to imagine).  They might have views I don't agree with, some I might not even like.  

A bit like going to a wedding, you are going to meet people from all walks, but for the sake of the nuptial couple, a respectable situation is usually observed. I think high-heel meetings should be held under the same auspices. Like any new relationship, you have to give it a chance. If you don't like it, there are appropriate ways to deal with that, just like you would at a wedding. If you find you dislike everyone there, you can leave early, once the marriage vows have been exchanged.  

Getting people together always seems to be too much work. There is little desire to meet others. People have to travel. People have to make accommodations for their absence. The latter is okay for some, but probably a minority.

 

These things maybe have a better chance of success (people attend) if there is some secondary reason for the meeting. That could be the attendance of a stage show (ie Kinky Boots or The Rock Horror Picture Show) or something like a Shoe Fair, Shoe Exhibition, or Fetish Market (where larger sizes might be available to try on.) I'm not a big enthusiast of West End shows as they are frighteningly expensive, but I would be happy to attend a meet pre/post a show, or at some other do.

[marcelheels]

On 10/31/2016 at 11:26 AM, gjogj said:

This tread is all about social events to meet likeminded people. I got some feed back when I asked for people willing to attend a heel meet in the Netherlands or Belgium. See that discussion here http://heels4men.net/topic/954-nlbe-meet/#comment-8068.

Heel meets are events with  a social character. What would make a heel meet succesfull for you and what would you require to consider attending a heel meet?

I am interrested to learn your ideas.

better late than never ;-)

I agree with both!

There should be a heels meet, but like Freddy said, something should be added to the meeting.

For instance.... selling heels, a heels show on a catwalk, , a photoshoot with a model in heels, 

[FastFreddy2]

On 1/5/2019 at 2:43 PM, marcelheels said:

something should be added to the meeting.

For instance.... selling heels, a heels show on a catwalk, , a photoshoot with a model in heels, 

These things cost money.

If sellers thought they might benefit from promoting their wares, an appearance might get some stock on show, and to try on. At best 30 people (who am I kidding, 10-15) might attend, which isn't enough potential for a seller. I had previously made tentative enquiries some years ago about getting some 'sale or return' stock sent, but all three of the vendors I had in mind back then, no longer trade. (Direct Chinese imports via Ebay put them all out of business.)

A model who specialises in wearing high high heels, would cost circa £200 a visit, even if little more than expenses were paid.

A venue would be needed. To have dedicated space, would need a flat payment or a guarantee of sales. ("You can have the back room to yourselves free, as long as we take over £150 in sales.") Or some private space for 3 hours, £100. 

In my mind, the very minimum budget would be £300, and even that figure might prove to be wildly optimistic. Shared amongst 10-15 people? Never going to happen. Even a secluded space, with heel owners bringing their own shoes to show and be tried (on carpet) might cost £10 per person, and that's without refreshments needed like teas/coffees/other. 

There's also that most men into wearing heels, don't actually want to socialise together. It's a fact. Look at the historic attempts over at HHp. We've had some 'meets' from here in the past, but there's never been more than 5 of us, if I remember correctly.  

There are of course 'fetish' meets/fairs (or used to be) in London once a month.... Not sure even they have survived. 

 

 

 

Edited January 9, 2019 by FastFreddy2

[euchrid]

4 hours ago, FastFreddy2 said:

There's also that most men into wearing heels, don't actually want to socialise together. It's a fact. Look at the historic attempts over at HHp. We've had some 'meets' from here in the past, but there's never been more than 5 of us, if I remember correctly.  

 

 

 

there were some successful meet-ups at the Miller pub behind Guys Hospital some years back. 

30 or so people, including a few women and a very tasty foreign barmaid who modelled some thigh-highs for us.  there's a clip of that on Youtube somewhere.

[FastFreddy2]

2 hours ago, euchrid said:

there were some successful meet-ups at the Miller pub behind Guys Hospital some years back. 

30 or so people, including a few women and a very tasty foreign barmaid who modelled some thigh-highs for us.  there's a clip of that on Youtube somewhere.

Disappointing to know I missed those. 

Though I might have been to one? 

Edited January 9, 2019 by FastFreddy2

[marcelheels]

Thing is..I organise stuff for all my life and I do have my network.

Bigger problem is that I'm in the netherlands, but willing to take an Easyjet flight for a weekend.

But...if there's a problem collecting  a few 100 pounds, together, than it',s not going to happen, for sure.

Back than it's quite clear that 'we' don't really want it, right?

The meeting that @euchrid mentioned sound cool!

[FastFreddy2]

22 hours ago, euchrid said:

a very tasty foreign barmaid who modelled some thigh-highs for us.  there's a clip of that on Youtube somewhere.

 

The YouTube video is missing, as are the photo's posted. No surprise really, we are talking 11 years ago (less one month).

[FastFreddy2]

On 1/9/2019 at 3:17 PM, FastFreddy2 said:

There's also that most men into wearing heels, don't actually want to socialise together. It's a fact. Look at the historic attempts over at HHp. We've had some 'meets' from here in the past, but there's never been more than 5 of us, if I remember correctly.  

 

On 1/9/2019 at 7:48 PM, euchrid said:

there were some successful meet-ups at the Miller pub behind Guys Hospital some years back. 

 

Of all the people I could be talking about, you would not be one of them.  I'm aware through experience, you would attend a social gathering, (as might "Heels") with we three having met up together, many times in the past.  In fact, you were one of the two people that waved me toward the (hidden) entrance door of the Miller pub back in 2008 - if I remember correctly.

 

18 hours ago, marcelheels said:

Back than it's quite clear that 'we' don't really want it, right?

The meeting that @euchrid mentioned sound cool!

 

The 'Meet' in 2008 was really very special because it had an international flavour - including the bar maid it would seem!

Here's some background to that time ....

Until a few weeks before the big meet (there was a dinner together before that with about 9 attendees) several of us had no knowledge of men wearing heels as a group. Certainly in my case, I was almost overwhelmed to find my interest (straight man, practically non-TV) wasn't alone in the world with regard to my finding pleasure in wearing a heel. Of course I knew other men wore heels, I'd seen them years before, but these were for the most part, TV/TS or drag. Otherwise 'regular' men wearing heels because they could, and liked them, was 'news' to me?

There was at least one person (who attended the meal on the 14th), made mention that his interest in wearing heels, and feeling isolated because of it, had produced some strong mental health issues. (Thinking of self-destruction.) His contact with the group, and attendance which allowed regular conversation with other like minded people, enabled him to 'normalise' his interest, rather than let it isolate him. His attendance, quite literally changed his life. 

To be honest, it also changed mine. I got involved with the group as a whole, and did my bit to help and support others who possibly didn't have my confidence to start with. Once I had spent some time out in the real world in a heel during daylight in a non-fetish situation, and having established my interest wasn't unacceptably unique, I became a great evangeliser for the cause. Not only "talking the talk", but quite literally, "walking the walk" (in heels). Part of my evangelising activity was to encourage social activity via meetings. Several of us met from time to time.

Travelling to a central place, typically London, takes time, effort, and there's cost. Add that everyone involved gets older with every day, become less enthusiastic for venturing out breaking normal routines, it's not hard to understand how 5 or more people might struggle to find matching energy levels/time and money for a group meeting. 

I've mentioned confidence levels, but there is possibly another deeper psychological reason for what appears to be a reluctance to 'share'. Let me propose that many men take their pleasure from a heel, through sexual self-gratification. Many of those 'many' will have solitary experiences, that could never be shared with their partner, assuming their interest in heels doesn't prevent them having a partner to start with....  These men are likely used to keeping their interest in wearing a heel, in 'the closet'. Might be they are members of forums or BB's where they read about and share experiences, but their real world experience of wearing high heels amongst other men, is a big fat zero. How important to the lives of these men who maybe spend 10 minutes a week in heels, would meeting other men who are into wearing wearing heels, likely be? These men might spend 10 minutes every day, maybe 30 minutes, maybe an hour every day, thinking about heels and when they'll get to put a pair on. But it seems to me, their enthusiasm often never leaves the bedroom, much less is taken out to meet people socially. 

Believe me, I'd be happy to have this all wrong. I wish it were as simple as; "Can we all meet at xxxxxxxx on DD/MM/YYYY? Who is in?" And 20 people put their hand up to join a gathering.  Even somewhere as busy as HHp, the offer of a 'meet' (certainly in the UK) might after a week or two of wrangling over dates and locations, produce two interested people, and one of those might be the person trying to organise the meet.

 

Edited January 11, 2019 by FastFreddy2

[marcelheels]

10 hours ago, FastFreddy2 said:

 

The YouTube video is missing, as are the photo's posted. No surprise really, we are talking 11 years ago (less one month).

Her boots are amazing!

Like mine, haha!

[marcelheels]

2 hours ago, FastFreddy2 said:

 

 

Of all the people I could be talking about, you would not be one of them.  I'm aware through experience, you would attend a social gathering, (as might "Heels") with we three having met up together, many times in the past.  In fact, you were one of the two people that waved me toward the (hidden) entrance door of the Miller pub back in 2008 - if I remember correctly.

 

 

The 'Meet' in 2008 was really very special because it had an international flavour - including the bar maid it would seem!

Here's some background to that time ....

Until a few weeks before the big meet (there was a dinner together before that with about 9 attendees) several of us had no knowledge of men wearing heels as a group. Certainly in my case, I was almost overwhelmed to find my interest (straight man, practically non-TV) wasn't alone in the world with regard to my finding pleasure in wearing a heel. Of course I knew other men wore heels, I'd seen them years before, but these were for the most part, TV/TS or drag. Otherwise 'regular' men wearing heels because they could, and liked them, was 'news' to me?

There was at least one person (who attended the meal on the 14th), made mention that his interest in wearing heels, and feeling isolated because of it, had produced some strong mental health issues. (Thinking of self-destruction.) His contact with the group, and attendance which allowed regular conversation with other like minded people, enabled him to 'normalise' his interest, rather than let it isolate him. His attendance, quite literally changed his life. 

To be honest, it also changed mine. I got involved with the group as a whole, and did my bit to help and support others who possibly didn't have my confidence to start with. Once I had spent some time out in the real world in a heel during daylight in a non-fetish situation, and having established my interest wasn't unacceptably unique, I became a great evangeliser for the cause. Not only "talking the talk", but quite literally, "walking the walk" (in heels). Part of my evangelising activity was to encourage social activity via meetings. Several of us met from time to time.

Travelling to a central place, typically London, takes time, effort, and there's cost. Add that everyone involved gets older with every day, become less enthusiastic for venturing out breaking normal routines, it's not hard to understand how 5 or more people might struggle to find matching energy levels/time and money for a group meeting. 

I've mentioned confidence levels, but there is possibly another deeper psychological reason for what appears to be a reluctance to 'share'. Let me propose that many men take their pleasure from a heel, through sexual self-gratification. Many of those 'many' will have solitary experiences, that could never be shared with their partner, assuming their interest in heels doesn't prevent them having a partner to start with....  These men are likely used to keeping their interest in wearing a heel, in 'the closet'. Might be they are members of forums or BB's where they read about and share experiences, but their real world experience of wearing high heels amongst other men, is a big fat zero. How important to the lives of these men who maybe spend 10 minutes a week in heels, would meeting other men who are into wearing wearing heels, likely be? These men might spend 10 minutes every day, maybe 30 minutes, maybe an hour every day, thinking about heels and when they'll get to put a pair on. But it seems to me, their enthusiasm often never leaves the bedroom, much less is taken out to meet people socially. 

Believe me, I'd be happy to have this all wrong. I wish it were as simple as; "Can we all meet at xxxxxxxx on DD/MM/YYYY? Who is in?" And 20 people put their hand up to join a gathering.  Even somewhere as busy as HHp, the offer of a 'meet' (certainly in the UK) might after a week or two of wrangling over dates and locations, produce two interested people, and one of those might be the person trying to organise the meet.

 

Thanks for sharing this, taking the time, and giving us / me such a 'wide' explanation. Since you are here for 'ages', and I'm quite new to this 'group' you'll probably be right and I agree with your way of thinking. :-)

[dww]

I can only say going to a heel meet boosts ones confidance a hell of a lot, and lets you know you are not the only one in the world that likes to wear heels. So far I have been to three first one in Cambridge May 2002, second Miller in London 2007 meet loads of guys from overseas, and was a world heel meet, third was also at the Miller London 2009, and I enjoyed all three, but I have also meet guys locally, you know one to one, with no problems at all.

[FastFreddy2]

6 hours ago, marcelheels said:

Thanks for sharing this, taking the time, and giving us / me such a 'wide' explanation. Since you are here for 'ages', and I'm quite new to this 'group' you'll probably be right and I agree with your way of thinking. :-)

Thank you, and you are welcome.

I ought to add that possibly understanding why these meets don't happen makes it no less disappointing about the lack of socialising in what is quite a niche interest, although maybe not a niche as many would think. I have over the years re-sold many pairs of heels I've owned that either didn't fit, or I didn't want to keep. A fair percentage of those sales have been to men. One of the pairs with the highest heels, and possibly the most expensive I've sold, were to a man at a face-to-face meeting. He was no more embarrassed than I was, and the fact I was selling very high heeled boots in a mans size (UK9) made no difference at the exchange. He might have been buying a foot-pump for his car, the transaction was so 'matter-of-fact'. But would he attend a 'men-wearing-heels' meeting? I doubt it since his interest seemed to be of the 'self-gratification' variety. Meaning he was happy to pay for something he might wear for 10 minutes of fun (with him young enough for it to be several times a week) rather than it be a 'lifestyle' interest.

 

While looking into opportunities for meeting venues, I found the London Alternative Market, which might be a regenerated London Fetish Fair. Entry is just £5, so affordable, but the location is deep in the heart of the City of London. Not a great place to get to, without using public transport.  Might be something to think about, for the Home Counties based members here. Travelling from elsewhere, might add too much cost to an untried venue. Volunteers?  

[Puffer]

8 hours ago, FastFreddy2 said:

Thank you, and you are welcome.

I ought to add that possibly understanding why these meets don't happen makes it no less disappointing about the lack of socialising in what is quite a niche interest, although maybe not a niche as many would think. I have over the years re-sold many pairs of heels I've owned that either didn't fit, or I didn't want to keep. A fair percentage of those sales have been to men. One of the pairs with the highest heels, and possibly the most expensive I've sold, were to a man at a face-to-face meeting. He was no more embarrassed than I was, and the fact I was selling very high heeled boots in a mans size (UK9) made no difference at the exchange. He might have been buying a foot-pump for his car, the transaction was so 'matter-of-fact'. But would he attend a 'men-wearing-heels' meeting? I doubt it since his interest seemed to be of the 'self-gratification' variety. Meaning he was happy to pay for something he might wear for 10 minutes of fun (with him young enough for it to be several times a week) rather than it be a 'lifestyle' interest.

While looking into opportunities for meeting venues, I found the London Alternative Market, which might be a regenerated London Fetish Fair. Entry is just £5, so affordable, but the location is deep in the heart of the City of London. Not a great place to get to, without using public transport.  Might be something to think about, for the Home Counties based members here. Travelling from elsewhere, might add too much cost to an untried venue. Volunteers?  

As distinct from 'pumps for his feet' presumably?   (Ronnie Barker in 'Four Candles' made the same error!)

As to the LAM, I have just perused the website:  http://londonalternativemarket.com/general-info/  First Sunday of each month in Leadenhall Street, EC3, which means that free street parking should be reasonably available for anyone wanting to go by car (the City is very quiet at weekends, but keep away from Petticoat Lane area as parking there is still restricted on Sundays).   Entry before 2pm is £6, entry after that £7.   

Whilst there is a claimed wide range of exhibits, allegedly including footwear, I can see little that is specific.   My gut feeling is that most of the emphasis is on activities/interests/lifestyles/products that would be of little or no appeal to me and scarcely justify the trouble and expense of attending.  I did once (about 20 years ago) attend what may well have been the same event in London; I found little of interest (and a fair number of rather unpalatable 'exhibits') and left after an hour or so.)  However, I am happy to be proved wrong and might be willing to attend, especially if some of us were to meet there socially.   Certainly, I agree that the LAM could provide a venue for such a get-together, but would there be any privacy for us - I guess not unless we hired a private room or similar?   In which case, why not book such a room elsewhere?   All in all, something to think about, as you say.

[FastFreddy2]

3 hours ago, Puffer said:

Whilst there is a claimed wide range of exhibits, allegedly including footwear, I can see little that is specific.   My gut feeling is that most of the emphasis is on activities/interests/lifestyles/products that would be of little or no appeal to me and scarcely justify the trouble and expense of attending.  I did once (about 20 years ago) attend what may well have been the same event in London; I found little of interest (and a fair number of rather unpalatable 'exhibits') and left after an hour or so.)  However, I am happy to be proved wrong and might be willing to attend, especially if some of us were to meet there socially.   Certainly, I agree that the LAM could provide a venue for such a get-together, but would there be any privacy for us - I guess not unless we hired a private room or similar?   In which case, why not book such a room elsewhere?   All in all, something to think about, as you say.

 

The raison d'etre of the meeting would be the social aspect, anything else would be incidental. The last time I went to the London Fetish Fair, it was a complete wash, as was the previous visit to that one. We (the usual suspects) met there once and it wasn't an overly pleasant experience. In fact that might have been my last visit. Cobble stones all over the place, not only killers to stiletto heels, but blinking hard to navigate in a heel. (Rather like some of Camden). I would hope a swish venue in the City, might offer a better calibre of pavement and venue floor space. It might even be somewhere I could (finally) wear courts without risk of breaking them.

As to parking, I'm not convinced on street parking would be that easy. I had a quick look on Google, and I found double yellows and reds. I didn't look hard, so I will be happy to find there is free on street parking close to the venue. You are right about Sundays and single yellows, but some roads in the area I could park on as little as two 2 years ago,  have had a second yellow added. Transport for London, as we know, isn't there for the benefit of motorists unless there's a way to make them pay for a visit. 

[FastFreddy2]

I've had a better look for single yellows. Most of Google street maps in the area appears to have been done at midnight. So far, I've not found ANY free on-street parking, though getting there by underground seems easy. Would I use that in 5" courts? Unlikely. Cary a second pair of flat shoes ... Not very likely. 

I've email them to find out if they can guide me to the free parking. 

[Puffer]

On 1/12/2019 at 1:53 AM, FastFreddy2 said:

 

The raison d'etre of the meeting would be the social aspect, anything else would be incidental. The last time I went to the London Fetish Fair, it was a complete wash, as was the previous visit to that one. We (the usual suspects) met there once and it wasn't an overly pleasant experience. In fact that might have been my last visit. Cobble stones all over the place, not only killers to stiletto heels, but blinking hard to navigate in a heel. (Rather like some of Camden). I would hope a swish venue in the City, might offer a better calibre of pavement and venue floor space. It might even be somewhere I could (finally) wear courts without risk of breaking them.

As to parking, I'm not convinced on street parking would be that easy. I had a quick look on Google, and I found double yellows and reds. I didn't look hard, so I will be happy to find there is free on street parking close to the venue. You are right about Sundays and single yellows, but some roads in the area I could park on as little as two 2 years ago,  have had a second yellow added. Transport for London, as we know, isn't there for the benefit of motorists unless there's a way to make them pay for a visit. 

I am familiar with most of the City, having worked there for many years, albeit not much during the last ten.   The venue is in a smart business area; There are some (modern/decorative) paved/cobbled areas around that might give problems but most of the City is ordinary flat pavements, well-maintained (or stiletto-wearing secretaries would soon be complaining).

In the City, parking on single yellows or in marked (meter) bays is permitted (and free) after 11am Saturday and all-day Sunday.   Whilst there has been some reduction in on-street parking and growth in double yellows, it should be possible to find a free parking space on a Sunday morning within reasonable distance of the venue, except near to Petticoat Lane Sunday market.

But this is somewhat academic, as I see little point in paying £6+ to enter a fetish fair of marginal interest simply to have a social get-together, especially when the chances of finding a quiet corner for (say) half-a-dozen of us to chat is uncertain.   I accept that the venue would be accepting of men in heels, but a quiet corner of a City pub or wine bar (on a Sunday) might be a 'free' alternative.   I don't have any specific suggestions at this time, however.   The quietness of the City on a Sunday (it is close to deserted in many areas) has much to commend it.   Another possibility would be south of the river between London Bridge station and Tower Bridge; there are wide walkways and various bars etc.   I suppose that discretion/acceptability is the key issue, not easily addressed.

[FastFreddy2]

7 hours ago, Puffer said:

But this is somewhat academic, as I see little point in paying £6+ to enter a fetish fair of marginal interest simply to have a social get-together, especially when the chances of finding a quiet corner for (say) half-a-dozen of us to chat is uncertain.   I accept that the venue would be accepting of men in heels, but a quiet corner of a City pub or wine bar (on a Sunday) might be a 'free' alternative.   I don't have any specific suggestions at this time, however.   The quietness of the City on a Sunday (it is close to deserted in many areas) has much to commend it.   Another possibility would be south of the river between London Bridge station and Tower Bridge; there are wide walkways and various bars etc.   I suppose that discretion/acceptability is the key issue, not easily addressed.

 

As someone who visits that area fairly regularly on a Sunday, I can tell you 'quiet' it isn't.

 

Whilst we are debating venue and timing/parking,  I very much doubt any of us will gather for an actual meeting. 

The reason for suggesting a venue where there is something other than  bar or restaurant facilities was the attraction of a "meeting+". That's to mean a secondary reason to meet up, beyond seeing people it's possible to converse with here (or HHp). The proposed venue also provides a protected environment where almost any type of clothing/footwear should not attract unwanted criticism or attention.

I might try to get myself up to the proposed venue early next month. My Saturday nights are not going to be as busy as they have been during the last 5-6 months, so I might once again, have the energy to rise early on a Sunday. Whether the gig is worth the £6 or not, I will advise after my planned visit. I've been given some street names by the organisers, and I will try these before the next gig to see if there are unused spaces during Sunday. I can usually walk quite a long way in 10 minutes, and all the free parking is "10 minutes away". That's quite a dangerous 10 minutes in 5" stiletto courts if cobbled street are involved.

"Revue" to follow. 

 

Edited January 14, 2019 by FastFreddy2

[Puffer]

If your 'quiet it isn't' comment relates to the riverside strip, then I agree.   Quite a few people will be out for a Sunday stroll/drink/meal etc.   Almost provides some camouflage, perhaps?

I await with interest your Trip Advisor review of the fair and any other potential venues.

[FastFreddy2]

2 hours ago, Puffer said:

If your 'quiet it isn't' comment relates to the riverside strip, then I agree. 

It does. 

It's too open to expect 'cover' for footwear (experience tells me) and on a warm day there are way too many people looking for restaurant space. There is one particular pizzeria that I've sat down at 3 times, and eaten once. Nice food at reasonable money. but no servers, and an obvious lack of kitchen staff.

Trying to get around HMS Belfast in what I remember were moderate heels, was interesting. I must go back for a full day, in trainers.   

As to my Trip Advisor report, expect 'onions'.