Not Boding Well

[Ludovic]

My wife was throwing away a pair of ankle boots, amongst a few other older items we didn't need anymore. She usually wears size 9 and me 9.5/10. They were size 10 but indeed a bit tight (we all know I tried them on).

My plan was when doing the final prep, that I'd ask her for me to keep the boots. Well I did ask, and she said no. So this doesn't look good for my heel wearing with her consent.

[FastFreddy2]

My plan was when doing the final prep, that I'd ask her for me to keep the boots. Well I did ask, and she said no. So this doesn't look good for my heel wearing with her consent.

Rather sadly, I would have to agree that it doesn't bode well.

I'm gonna 'fess up to completely understanding her P.O.V. on the matter, though (obviously) I can't agree with it.

Just about every girlfriend (and the one wife) I've had, has been told about my interest in heels, and my (ancient history) of dressing up to go out to clubs. There may have been exceptions, but none past a 3rd or 4th date. Both them and I, never expected a return of my interest, but it was always a liability. I've a tolerant wife, so I count myself lucky I get to do pretty much as I please. That said, I lost a lot of promising relationships because their tolerance ran out. - Maybe. [Not heel related.]

I'm where I am because I engineered it. I provide a lot of entertainment with my heel wearing, making it a pleasant experience for us both. Any situation has to be improved, if there's fun and/or entertainment involved. I have mentioned before (here or HHp) spending an afternoon out with my wife on her birthday in heels. It was during my early daytime heel wearing experience, when I was much less self assured about the idea. We went to an exhibition she was very very very keen to go to, that she knew would be (almost) torture to me. A 40 minute walk around the exhibits, took her 3 hours.

I drove 40 miles to the venue. We had a good lunch. Did the exhibition. Spent some time in the bookshop afterward, where I bought her a large volume centred on the exhibition. We then had some supper [pancakes I think] before leaving. She was so wrapped up in the day, I could have had green skin and she may not have noticed.

We are going to the same venue to see a band in a couple of weeks. [Elbow at the O2.] Our seats are sponsored (read supplemented) by her employers, but it's still an expensive evening out that wouldn't have happened without my efforts (and wallet) to make it happen. I won't be wearing 5" stiletto's as I might like, but I will be in heels. (We are going to a VIP Suite that's very close to the VIP car park, so 5" heels would be realistic. Proximity helps add to the expense. )

You haven't asked for advice, but I'm going to offer it anyway. (Sorry. )

I would think any woman, or 3rd party male (friend/work colleague) is going to find cowboy boots hard to complain about. It would just be ridiculous (read unreasonable) to create a dispute over a men's style of footwear. They come in various heel heights, even mens. They come at various levels of expense, so don't need to be outrageously expensive [so no Charlie 1 Horse boots.]

Buy some with a 2 inch heel, and wear them as a dress shoe. If this creates a problem, then maybe there is an underlying issue that needs to be talked through? One of the things I have in mind when writing about this, is maybe a fear that a shoe with any sort of heel, is the thin end of a cross-dressing wedge? You will know better than any of us, the ways that this could pan out, and may already know if this isn't a goer.

If it isn't, if a 2 inch heel would cause problems, there would appear to be issues beyond heels. I'm a less than perfect husband, but I do what I can to (help) have myself appreciated. It earns me Brownie points, that I cash in when I want to wear heels. These days, me not wearing heels would draw more attention than wearing them. Plus, I usually stick to a thicker heel in daylight. (Not always, but usually.) I would hope any of us could earn those 'points', even if it meant cashing in some birthday (present) extra's too? e.g. "It's my birthday and we are eating out in the city, I'd like to wear a modest (chunky) heel." Would it be so unreasonable, given the interest in wearing heels is always on the agenda?

I'm not advocating a row/argument over this. I assume there might have been one or two already. But surely there's a place for self-expression in every relationship? As long as it harms no-one, as long as it upsets no-one, why not?

With the shoe on the other foot (ha ha) .... While not being a terribly good husband, I try hard to support my wife in everything she does. ["Hard" because it isn't always that easy.]

If she comes home upset with work, I support the notion her workplace undervalues her contribution. [Actually, they do.] I agree with her views, and encourage her to stay strong in adversarial situations there. I try to provide good counsel.

When she wants to have a holiday away with her girlfriends, although I will miss her, I enthuse about her time away. My jealousy over her having such a good time without me, is never mentioned.

When she would prefer to have a drink or two while out (and two would be the max), I will offer to drive her 10 miles to the venue, and collect her to come home, whatever time it is. I encourage her to have a social life away from me. [Help to encourage some independence.] I suppose it's evidence of me caring for her?

It isn't one sided. She knows that if I have a need to do something, part of her job is to help me. I'm tempted to say 'part of her duty' ...... but I would loathe to put her in the situation where she thought free choice [to say no] wasn't available. A couple of shoe related examples: (i) Some shoes she knew I liked were bought at discount with her debit card. [Gets points for spending.] I thought I'd overspent on shoes recently, so said I couldn't afford them. She offered to pay fro them as an early Christmas present. (ii) When we were in London recently and I had to take some shoes back, she agreed to return them without much resistance. [i usually do my own returns, but there was an extra ingredient making it easier if she returned them.] I stood close to the till, but the real effort came from her. And I know she doesn't even like taking her own purchases back .....

There's a lot about your life I could envy. But if I had no outlet for my (current) interest, [photography; mountain biking; heels;] I'm not sure I could manage quite as well as you have. And to be frank, I'm not sure I would want to.

I'm at the age where people I know are getting unwell. A good friend of a good friend, (I go out with her while wearing heels) found out her good friend was in hospital ill. He's had something of a chest infection for 2-3 weeks, and his girlfriend finally got him into hospital on the Saturday. I managed to get her (my good friend) to see him on the Tuesday evening just before he passed away. [Him fit and active, aged 59.]

Another personal friend of mine, has just left hospital having gotten pneumonia. While X-Raying his lungs, they have found a shadow. He will need 3 or 4 more weeks of anti-biotic's before he is fit enough to tolerate chemotherapy. He's in his mid forties, but is a heavy smoker and drinker. They are not sure his liver is in good enough shape for chemo, even if his lungs are.

My wife's friend is waiting for treatment on a growth in her neck. Apparently, it's so large now, it's affecting her face and she doesn't want to meet her friends. Her sky-high blood pressure, is preventing early testing and remedial treatment. There are also worries about facial disfigurement, post op, and that's without any further concerns about it being malignant. She in her 50's, and quite a glamorous girl given her age.

We lost two neighbours to age related illness in the last month. ** Another has a rare form of stomach cancer, and is not responding well to treatment.

** Speaking to a neighbour this morning, it looks like we have had 3 losses this month. He tells me both halves of a couple passed within a week of each other, not just the husband as I had originally believed.

I regularly (too regularly these days), get reminded about how short our life is.

We seldom regret the things we do. Most regret comes from things we don't do.

For my part, I have many bad decisions behind me, but very few are from me having walked away from doing something I really wanted to do. I certainly could have had a much more productive life, but all work and no play?

So you'll understand why I might be reluctant to suppress a strong desire?

Not for the first time, I wish you well on your journey.

...........

Edited November 15, 2012 by FastFreddy2

[FreshinHeels]

Sad to read Ludovic.

FastFreddy2 thats a long post but you are right.

I had cancer myself 5 years ago and yes it does make ye think about life.

It makes you realize even more that we have only 1 change and there is no rerun.

We have to do it in this one.

So try it , talk about about it with the mrs.

And on a sidenote I would love to get inside woman heads to find out why it is such a bad/terrible/scary/horrible thing about man wearing heels.

Woman can so much more be themselves with fashion why is that such a problem in society for man?

[Ludovic]

Freddy, that's quite a post. Still going through it a couple times.

I do think you are that she might consider granting me the permission to wear heels a threshold to something else. This is probably where I need to work this out with her. Yes, life is short but I also love her deeply and while I desire to pursue some interests, I'm not willing to sacrifice my relationship with her. Thank you for taking the time to share and I appreciate your insight.

Still have some thinking to do.

Cheers

[shyguy]

Ludovic I know exactly where you are coming from. My heel wearing has caused friction in my relationship, as my wife also feels heels are the lead in to full crossdressing and even gender change (really that has been brought up in discussions by her). After a few years she has allowed a few indulgences here and there, and as Freddy says it has cost me Brownie points in doing stuff for her, or helping her to do something she is interested in. Like you I am too deeply in love to put heels before my wife but you will still probably have the urges to wear them and that will need to be addressed somehow and an agreement reached.

Personally I can wear my heels for solo dog walking, and more masculine (low heels) very occasionally for shopping with her.

Hope you can find a happy compromise for both of you.

[FastFreddy2]

I had cancer myself 5 years ago and yes it does make ye think about life.

Personal trauma, or the realisation that our youth has passed (aka mid-life crisis) does tend to focus the mind.

It would be a whole lot better if this 'focussing' had come to me naturally in my 20's, but I've always been a bit of a late starter.

Yes, life is short but I also love her deeply and while I desire to pursue some interests, I'm not willing to sacrifice my relationship with her.

I hope that wasn't how I wrote the response.

As I have (also) mentioned before, the message isn't to put yourself first (impossible if you are going to earn/deserve Brownie points), but the concept is to make sure you get priority with your needs, sometime - somehow? Too many of us think we'll get around to doing 'this' or doing 'that' next week, or next year ..... Sadly, not everyone gets a next week, or next year.

Like you I am too deeply in love to put heels before my wife but you will still probably have the urges to wear them and that will need to be addressed somehow and an agreement reached.

To be honest, I had you in mind too, when I responded. Your situations seem quite similar.

Before I started going out with Mrs Freddy in heels, I spent a lot of time alone (with her knowing) I was walking the streets at night in heels. I know for sure I'm not alone in this activity, and some others indulge themselves in this during the very early morning instead. [You Tube is full of it.]

I have not worn 'stripper' heels out with my wife, though I have worn ankle boots with a stiletto heel some time late last year/early this. That was in the dark, 30 miles from where we live, though it was in public. It took 4 years of slowly getting to that stage, in almost unnoticeable increments. Usually, I wear a cowboy boot that she finds completely acceptable, even though they have a 4 inch heel. It's a compromise that works for us both, and while I do catch the attention of people from time to time, neither of us lose sleep over it.

Before studying at a management college (now university) for two management diplomas, I had been a shop steward at a car plant, and a staff rep at an aircraft manufacturing plant. I've been trained from both sides of the industrial table, to understand there are compromises to be had, battles worth fighting for, and battles not worth fighting for. Usually, if not always, a compromise can't be reached because someone is being unreasonable.

In this situation, wanting - or expecting - to go out in clear perspex stripper heels might be regarded as unreasonable. Refusing to allow a partner any involvement with a modest heel on a mans shoe, would - or should - possibly be classed as unreasonable. It would be no more reasonable than banning a spouse (man or woman) from wearing blue jeans? This is not a Judge Judy ruling obviously ..... But where does permitted influence finish, and suppression start? [eg. "I'd rather you didn't wear those tonight when we eat with friends." vs. "I'm not leaving the house with you wearing those!"]

Anywhere else inbetween, could and should be a place for compromise. Maybe neither of the two parties will be 100% 'happy' at the situation, but there ought to be a place both parties can accept. After all, if you love your respective partners, chances are they love you too. And people who love you, will usually bend their needs to meet yours.

I'm happy my interest in heels takes a back seat in my life usually, but it does get a turn too.

If there's a message in my message, it's this; Try to get your go too. Life is shockingly short for some, so what you don't do soon, may not get done.

.....

[heelman500]

A short and hopefully succint take on this issue,

Firstly life is far too short and we are only here once, and as Freddy puts it you've got to have your turn!

My wife also thought that wearing heels was a prelude to something more dramatic.... Which it wasn't (Perhaps a print out of the issues relating to heel wearing and that it does not lead to anything else might help)

If all else fails do what I did and have the heels or me argument...... Mine backed down with the leave the key on the table speech! She gad threatened to "Out" me to all my workmates etc.... But luckily as they all know what I'm like it was a no go threat!

Be strong, lifes not a dress rehearsal and take some you time....and if she still doesn't like it spend the savings on a sports car!

[Ludovic]

Just wanted to share this tidbit.

The other, my wife tried on a pair of hers from Aldo, in polyurethane that she complained to me that they were too tight. She offered me to put them on but I declined because visitors were supposed to arrive any time now but I told her that I would wear them, to stretch them, the following week.

So the week came and I didn't press the issue in the first few days but one evening, I talked about her tight shoes and me wearing them. She said that because of the material, I wouldn't stretch them. I asked her if it was a refusal or a dare.

She replied it was a dare. I felt relieved.

So the next, I wore her 3 1/2 inches, burgundy, stilettos for about an hour and a half, while do usual household chores: cleaning up the kitchen, moving from one to the other to put stuff in its place, etc. Now I remind you that I was with my wife all the time. No comments whatsoever on the heels during this time.

Now a few later, while snuggling up, she did mention that it wasn't turning her on when I wore heels. But that another topic.

[shyguy]

Hi Ludovic, I had a similar situation early on in my discussions with my wife. One day she asked me to stretch shoes for her and it panned out in a similar way to the story you related. I ended up wearing the shoes for a while and I was also told how it had "done nothing for her while I wore them".

Since then, when I have shown an interest in new shoes she has bought I have always been asked in private if I want to try them, and sometimes almost commanded to try the shoes on and compare feedback.

At least you have had the chance to wear heels for a while without any upset in your relationship. Hope things continue to improve in the heel wearing discussions.

[FastFreddy2]

Hope things continue to improve in the heel wearing discussions.

From me too.

I've yet to hear/see any girl/woman tell me they were stimulated by me wearing heels.

However, I've had two tell me they quite liked the 'effect' it had on me during or after I wore them.

Mrs Freddy doesn't care for them (in that way) at all, and would say it has the opposite effect on her. [eg. A turn off.] She's aware it has no different immediate effect on me to spending some time in a social environment around attractive women in a relaxed [possibly alcohol fuelled] situation. Since I don't drink, 'alcohol fuelled' would mean a glass of beer or glass of wine. (Put another way, the cumulative effect of these two situations - that don't have to be mutually exclusive, is to put me in a very very very good mood.)

So when I wear a heel, it's because I like to, not because I expect my partner to get stimulated by me wearing them.

If looking to attract interest from a prospective partner, I've always found a good/regular job, straight teeth, dress sense, and a newish car produced good results. A sense a humour, and a caring disposition helped maintain that interest. I can't see being able to walk in 4 or 5 inch heels, being on any girls shortlist of attractive male attributes? As nice as that thought might be.

Conversely ...... were a girl looking for some luuuve from her partner ..... Faced with the choice of (i) spending 2 hours getting clean, changed and made up, another 2-3 hours being entertained with conversation that might involve effort with another couple (the in-laws perhaps). Or (ii) telling her fella to put some heels on for half an hour.... I'm sure there are plenty of girls out there who would prefer the option 'ii', due to the efficiency of the option.

Edited December 27, 2012 by FastFreddy2

[FastFreddy2]

Updates:

Another personal friend of mine, has just left hospital having gotten pneumonia. While X-Raying his lungs, they have found a shadow. He will need 3 or 4 more weeks of anti-biotic's before he is fit enough to tolerate chemotherapy. He's in his mid forties, but is a heavy smoker and drinker. They are not sure his liver is in good enough shape for chemo, even if his lungs are.

Sadly, he died 6 days before Christmas.

My wife's friend is waiting for treatment on a growth in her neck. Apparently, it's so large now, it's affecting her face and she doesn't want to meet her friends. Her sky-high blood pressure, is preventing early testing and remedial treatment. There are also worries about facial disfigurement, post op, and that's without any further concerns about it being malignant. She in her 50's, and quite a glamorous girl given her age.

Her blood pressure continues to be a problem, with her operation now scheduled for the New Year.

We lost two neighbours to age related illness in the last month. ** Another has a rare form of stomach cancer, and is not responding well to treatment.

** Speaking to a neighbour this morning, it looks like we have had 3 losses this month. He tells me both halves of a couple passed within a week of each other, not just the husband as I had originally believed.

I'm pleased to confirm the original report was correct, only two neighbours lost, not three.

Unfortunately, another person from the same group as the deceased, or wife to a close friend of the deceased, has a Stage III tumour in her neck. I know another women who is in full remission having had lengthy treatment for this condition, so my hopes are high. Both woman are slightly younger than me.

I remain lucky that all those close to me, seem to be in good health. But all this other sad news is wearing. [And why shouldn't it be?] I wish instead, it were making me live my life twice or three times faster than I do.....

[FreshinHeels]

From me too.

I've yet to hear/see any girl/woman tell me they were stimulated by me wearing heels.

However, I've had two tell me they quite liked the 'effect' it had on me during or after I wore them.

Mrs Freddy doesn't care for them (in that way) at all, and would say it has the opposite effect on her. [eg. A turn off.]

So when I wear a heel, it's because I like to, not because I expect my partner to get stimulated by me wearing them.

Same here Freddy with all mentioned points

[FreshinHeels]

Updates:

Sadly, he died 6 days before Christmas.

Her blood pressure continues to be a problem, with her operation now scheduled for the New Year.

I'm pleased to confirm the original report was correct, only two neighbours lost, not three.

Unfortunately, another person from the same group as the deceased, or wife to a close friend of the deceased, has a Stage III tumour in her neck. I know another women who is in full remission having had lengthy treatment for this condition, so my hopes are high. Both woman are slightly younger than me.

I remain lucky that all those close to me, seem to be in good health. But all this other sad news is wearing. [And why shouldn't it be?] I wish instead, it were making me live my life twice or three times faster than I do.....

My condoleances Freddy.

Hate cancer, had it myself and it sucks big time.

[Ludovic]

Sorry for your loss Freddy.

[FastFreddy2]

Hate cancer, had it myself and it sucks big time.

I'm glad you are in remission. Terrible disease.

It is rife on one side of my family.

As Uncle R (my fathers brother) said: (at his sisters funeral, him post treatment too) "It might run in some families, but gallops through ours."

Oddly, my mother, soon to be 84 years old and still a smoker ... Has complained she has clean clear lungs. A recent checkup had her questioning the honesty of her doctor because he had confirmed she had cancer/infection free lungs, despite being a 30-40 a day smoker of 70 years. I've said it many times; "Imperial Tobacco should be using her for advertising their products" (sic).

Thank you both for your good wishes on the loss of (yet another) friend. Although a hard worker and all around good person, his chances of making old bones were slim. Few thought him likely to reach retirement age given his drinking/smoking habits, but I doubt any of us would imagine he would get so ill so young, and pass away so quickly.

......

Edited December 29, 2012 by FastFreddy2

[FreshinHeels]

Oddly, my mother, soon to be 84 years old and still a smoker ... Has complained she has clean clear lungs. A recent checkup had her questioning the honesty of her doctor because he had confirmed she had cancer/infection free lungs, despite being a 30-40 a day smoker of 70 years. I've said it many times; "Imperial Tobacco should be using her for advertising their products" (sic).

......

wow there's allways one.

[Ludovic]

A bit of development. I had told my wife that I was going to pay a little visit to the adult store (sex shop). She's always shy to go in these store so I usually go alone. While there, I could not resist and tried these boots on: Pleaser Delight 2063. As this was in the early morning, the store was very quiet. I asked for my size and when she brought them back she asked if I wanted to try them on. She also asked if I was comfortable trying them on in the open space or if I preferred a cabin. I chose the open space. The boots are laced at the back and the cute salesgirl laced one of the boots while still in my feet, she deemed it easier that way. Couldn't object to have a cutie, at my feet, lacing my boots.

Anyway, didn't buy them but when I came home, I told my wife that I tried boots at the store. She asked if they were nice looking boots. I showed them on the website and she said that they were pretty high.

A day or two later, when having a discussion, she said that she doesn't object to anything I do. I seized the opportunity and Sunday I told her that I wanted to visit a shoe store because they had good prices. When she said she'll come with me, I replied that she doesn't have too because I wanted to look for heels. She said "For me?" to which I replied, that we could look for her too. She came back with "Only for me..."

So we both went yesterday to the store in question, when I asked the clerk about these in my size, my wife said to me that she was stepping aside. Well, they didn't have them in my size. We I got to my wife again, she said that she felt stress and didn't or couldn't face the looks of the people around... But she even offered to go to another store while I continued. I politely declined and told her that I would come back another day.

I'm planning on going either tomorrow or Thursday.

By the way, I'm also looking at these one

[FastFreddy2]

Anyway, didn't buy them but when I came home, I told my wife that I tried boots at the store. She asked if they were nice looking boots. I showed them on the website and she said that they were pretty high.

A day or two later, when having a discussion, she said that she doesn't object to anything I do. I seized the opportunity and Sunday I told her that I wanted to visit a shoe store because they had good prices. When she said she'll come with me, I replied that she doesn't have too because I wanted to look for heels. She said "For me?" to which I replied, that we could look for her too. She came back with "Only for me..."

So we both went yesterday to the store in question, when I asked the clerk about these in my size, my wife said to me that she was stepping aside. Well, they didn't have them in my size. We I got to my wife again, she said that she felt stress and didn't or couldn't face the looks of the people around... But she even offered to go to another store while I continued. I politely declined and told her that I would come back another day.

I'm planning on going either tomorrow or Thursday.

By the way, I'm also looking at these one

A good read, but .........

1st off, left me immediately apologise for the following;

I may be misreading the report, but I sense a lot of pluses in there, (aka 'opportunity') that seems to be getting lost? Over here, we might say; "think you are missing a trick there fella"?

If you were to tell your wife you've (just) been to a sex shop over here, you're likely to get a letter from the divorce solicitor (lawyer) the next day. If you've told your wife that, and why you went and she responded with "What were they like?" I'd say things on the heeling front aren't so bad?

Reading the further response "They look pretty high", sounds like woman-speak for 'couldn't you buy something a bit lower'? Again, it seems like, your good lady might consider you in a lower heel. If that were not the case, I would have expected her to say something like; "Jesus, you're joking right?" Which plainly, she didn't say.

She then talks about going with you, shoe shopping. Despite confirming shoe shopping only for her, you got to a shop where you asked about shoes for you. While I completely understand her position regarding embarrassment, you weren't left at the store to find your own way home either. I myself sometimes suggest my companion goes for a little wander while I try some shoes on, to save their blushes. Seems in order to me. Of course the up-side to this, is that your wife did offer to stay around while you went on a further venture, even if she wouldn't (couldn't) sit with you in a store while you tried on a womans shoe? I really, and I mean really don't understand why with that offer on the table, you would choose to go another time alone? It's almost a snub to her (your wife) when she's putting her toe-in-the-water to join in?

As before, I apologise if I'm out of line, especially as I'm not there with you so will only be getting a partial picture.

If I could offer some advise (offered only because I have some written-up success in this area)? Try to find a (much) more conservative style for you to wear? Black - obviously. Possibly a 2 or 3 inch wedge or low block heel. A cowboy boot for example, or a style that'll let your wife be comfortable being out with you wearing them in public. Spend a year in these. Work up to a higher block heel after that time, and maybe try them out first in dark evenings. Maybe to the cinema/movies, or late dinner. (On a date, we Brits might go out for food after 7.30pm and be out for a couple of hours.)

I've mentioned at some length on another thread, how accommodating Mrs Freddy is. But I have to say, if I suggested I might be buying those Pleaser 'stripper' boots, she would let me know in no uncertain terms they weren't to be worn while she was about. The response you got was MUCH better than the one I would get. (Especially so, since you tried them on in a Sex Shop.)

Seems to me, with the right style of shoe there might be a compromise to be had?

Anything with a 1" or 2" platform - no. [Waaaaay too obvious.]

Anything with a heel over 3 inches - only if you could walk the same way you walk in a shoe with no heel at all. I wear a 4" heel, because it's tall enough to feel like a heel, while being low enough for me to minimise the change in my walking style.

Stiletto - maybe in darkness. I have them, I wear them. Not in public during daylight hours.

Coloured shoe - anything as long as it's black. I've known few women over 30 who would wear a brightly coloured shoe. No bright Navy's (electric blue), and never ever bright pink. (Okay for an 18 year old maybe. )

>> This << is a great starter.

>> Or this << if you could walk well in them, and had trousers (pants) long enough to adequately hide the heel while walking. [Remember, your heel will protrude more from your trouser/pant as you stride forward.]

Please, show your wife the two samples I've included, and let us all know her thoughts. No details, just are they a possibility?

Best regards, and please forgive me if I'm out-of-line. No offence is meant.

......

[hh4evr1]

It sounds like your wife is beginning to accept you liking to wear heels.

She may not be ready/comfortable being there while you try therm on but she did go with you knowing you was looking for heels for you.

Some of what you wrote could be read different ways.

When she said the boots you tried at the sex shop were too high it could have been she thought the heel was too high or the price was too high or the leg shaft was to high.

Also when you mentioned shoe shopping she said "for me" which if taken literally meant for her but as you wrote it could mean for you.

[Ludovic]

Thanks for the replies. No need to apologize.

A clarification, here a sex shop is a boutique that sell sex toys. My wife appreciate a new vibrator or other once in a while

From my point of view, my wife doesn't really mind me wearing what I want. But, as I mentioned she doesn't want to face judgment from others because of my behavior. So since wearing heels in public for a man is not very accepted, she has a problem with it. I can wear her sandals all day in the backyard in the summer, but I get frowned upon if I go put something in the trashcan, on the other side of the fence, and that mean that I visible from the street. She even has trouble understanding how I can face the eyes of the people. This is a big issue for her.

I don't believe she felt left out when I passed on her offering, when I went today, she said she preferred to stay home. So I went to the store and came back with these. I figured that for now, as she can get used to see me in heels around the house, she'll get more used to it. With bright shoes, she won't expect me, and rightly so, to go out in public with these boots. Maybe my reasoning is wrong, but they are mine now. I wore them around the house and we both acted normally.

Thanks for your input guys. I appreciate it.

[FastFreddy2]

My wife was throwing away a pair of ankle boots, amongst a few other older items we didn't need anymore. She usually wears size 9 and me 9.5/10. They were size 10 but indeed a bit tight (we all know I tried them on).

My plan was when doing the final prep, that I'd ask her for me to keep the boots. Well I did ask, and she said no. So this doesn't look good for my heel wearing with her consent.

I had the impression (wrongly it now seems) the issue was over you wearing a heel, and wearing it around your wife?

This isn't an issue, if you're are wearing a bright coloured feminine style around her..... and you live a normal life. (Good for you. Both. )

So has the "not boding well" situation gone? Or are you thinking you'd like to wear a heel outside too?

- Confused of Hertfordshire.

P.S.

I think we have the same style of Sex Shop here.

Edited January 3, 2013 by FastFreddy2

[Ludovic]

I'm confused too, if that helps...

[FastFreddy2]

I'm confused too, if that helps...

Aww bless ....

You can buy heels, with your good ladies approval.

You can wear them around the house, with your good ladies approval.

What is it you can't do, that you'd like to be doing?

From the spectators point of view (ie mine ) the only thing you're not doing, is going out together with you in heels? And in that case, wearing brightly coloured court shoes outside of a nightclub would also be a non-starter for most women, so I can easily understand any reluctance from your wife on you wearing them outside...... Hence the suggestion about black cowboy boots with heels, or black block heeled boots. (As they are significantly more discreet.)

In all other respects, I'd suggest your situation "bodes rather well". Now, even if it didn't before....

Last word on the Sex Shop.....

Over here vibrators are generally included in the group name, 'sex toys'. When referring to them, the term is often shortened further to 'toys'. "When you're at the store honey, buy me a new toy?"

A phrase so subtle/discreet, it can even be used in front of children.