Out And About

[FastFreddy2]

We went to pharmacy, pretty many people noticed my shoes (you can tell when eyes go from shoes to your eyes, scan you body to check if you really are a man, then back to shoes, repeat couple of times) but no comments or that much longer looks.

I share this experience.

Mentioned elsewhere, I went to Milton Keynes recently. This is a large new(er) town built for purpose between London and Birmingham on the M1 motorway. It's a large town built for distribution purposes throughout Southern England.

I have also reported elsewhere being 'spotted' in heels there. In fact I was made to feel pretty uncomfortable on one particular visit, but got over it despite one individual almost pointing at me as she was so obvious During the more recent visit, I initially walked to/from some toilets in flat shoes, a trip totalling 200 yards. I was expecting to be invisible, as I had flat shoes on. Not the case. I got looked at many times, and began to wonder if I had two heads or developed green skin?

It suggests some places are more interested in people around them, than others? [More inquisitive?] I mention it as a consideration, rather than something I've thought long and hard at.

I'm more sure, having a female partner while out in heels, produces less interest than if out alone.

P.S.

Glad to hear you're still about. Been a bit absent myself recently too. Time of year?

Edited January 2, 2013 by FastFreddy2

[Jinx]

To keep my out and about alive, here is quick pic my wife captured under the table while we were having lunch at chinese restaurant. The winter boots I'm wearing are close to knee high, fake suede, approx. 2" heel.

I wear these out every now and then, they have at least little heel which actually shows all the way, heel shape prevents pants to cover them at all. Many people takes a look on these, even they are quite masculine type of shoes, but I quess any heel on men is eyebrow lifter for average jane and joe.

[FastFreddy2]

I had a similar experience yesterday. (Full details when I do a my own 'out and about' update. )

Here in the UK we have a quaint custom of taking afternoon tea.

In many of the better London Hotels, they do an afternoon tea that can cost up to £64 per person, if you also take a glass of rose champagne. And there's a waiting list for that one! (Claridges if you are tempted.)

While out shopping in London, I had to use the toilet while in a large store, and on the same floor there was a Tea Room. No prices on show, so we took a chance on buying "tea for two". Not too bad, at £10-50 for us both that included two small scones each. Was very well done - I can tell you.

The tables were open, as was the whole seating area. My heels were on plain view while I had my legs bent (for sitting). Initially, this wasn't a problem for anyone. As our time there went on, the old (and I mean really old) couple two tables down spotted my heeled boots. They had finished their food anyway, and left soon after. The two teen-aged girls next door, who were escorted by their mother, must have noticed later still. The only time I saw them looking, was as we left. [And I had been checking.] Well, they didn't take their eyes off us. I looked back smiling (they were teenagers after all) and I smiled every time I looked back. Used Mrs Freddy as a barrier, keeping her between the girls and me, so not much to see really.

We had close contact from 4 staff in total while there, 3 of which could (and might have) noticed my heels, but not one of them were seen looking. I will be going back, as it was very pleasant.

.....

Edited January 7, 2013 by FastFreddy2

[Jinx]

[personal rant mode on]

Where did I lost my courage all of suddenly? Damned, me who has been going out in heels frequently, with some fears of others reactions but still confident and holding my head high. And now, for past two months I've been chickening out so many good opportunities to wear heels. Why? Just because for some unknows reason my own head is creating huge issue about heels wearing. I'we worn heels at home, couple of times went out driving in heels just get the feeling, but doing much more than that has been nearly impossible for me lately.

I know that the real issues is not heels or what think other would think about me, this is just an echo about something else in my head and my brain is just reacting and playing out the unseen through my heel wearing. But God please help me, this is so frustrating! I want to go out in heels again, beeing normal about it and give other people change to be normal about as well. I know when time passes I'll get over the real issues that are affecting my heel wearing now, but damn this is not fun anymore.

[personal rant mode off]

[FastFreddy2]

[personal rant mode on]

I know that the real issues is not heels or what think other would think about me, this is just an echo about something else in my head and my brain is just reacting and playing out the unseen through my heel wearing.

.....

but damn this is not fun anymore.

[personal rant mode off]

I would have to agree, your 'diagnosis' does seem likely.

Around 6 months ago, I too felt wearing heels gave me no pleasure, and almost gave up with them. Realising I had waited many many years to enjoy wearing them in public, I knew it was inevitable I would regret not wearing them, even if for a while it might seem like a chore.

I cannot say what had changed to get me in this state of mind, nor exactly what got me past it.

Given your deep (in this instance - fundamental) interest in wearing heels, the barrier would seem to be important, if not obvious.

For me it might have been the wave of sadness I was experiencing, and it was a wave I had no control over. I had no way of stopping it, no way to change it. For a while, it was a case of getting through another day, another week, another month. Eventually, the veil thinned and I started to believe there was a better future for me to come.

You are close to your family, and maybe they have recognised "what ails you" where perhaps you have not? I've found external stress takes some time to effect me. Weeks, and sometimes longer. When I look back, I maybe have to look further than most.

A wise woman I knew, once approached me to say hello. She mentioned I seemed a little 'less of yourself', and not my usual cheery self. I mentioned I possibly had an important decision to make, and wasn't sure the direction I should take. She mentioned that the anxiety caused to me by delaying the decision, was possibly worse than the outcome of me making a bad decision. Anxiety can be very wearing.....

I can't remember what I had to do. I do remember the enormous sense of relief I felt when it was done.

Good luck with your journey. I hope you find your path again, and I hope you find it soon.

P.S.

Seen in another thread .....

We people get stressed so easily you know, too much pressure and we just fade away... just kidding...

Maybe not kidding?

..........

Edited February 23, 2013 by FastFreddy2

[Jinx]

Slowly but surely I'm making progress I've recognized 'the issue' and been able to work on it... and good things follow the hard work; I've been able to overcome the first big blocks of wearing high heels again, and the best part, with pleasure!

I have encountered issues in my past life that I thought I've overcome, at least to some degree, but something happened that triggered old mindset that caused lots of waves in my head, that caused echoes to other aspects of life as well. It is overwhelming how things you (at least thought you) left behind, slap your face out of the blue and make your mind go back to dark ages again and how it takes lots of effort to be able in a first place to admit that to yourself and then start to work on it... But as said, the hard work is carrying positive results and I can say that I'm coming back... slowly but surely

[FastFreddy2]

Slowly but surely I'm making progress I've recognized 'the issue' and been able to work on it... and good things follow the hard work;

..............

But as said, the hard work is carrying positive results and I can say that I'm coming back... slowly but surely

This is good news for us too.

Without knowing any detail, it's hard to comment specifically, or offer experience that's pertinent to getting over that 'issue'. But as a general remark, my experience that accepting 'what we are', (which might have nothing to do with wearing heels), and where we are in the world, can bring great relief.

Obviously bad experiences from our past, are something that can carry mental and emotional scars that sadly some can never get past. Possibly the worst example of this, would be a parent who loses a young child to illness. Had it happened to me, I'm sure it would have been a heart-break I could never get past......

'Square peg in round hole' syndrome, is something that may have affected many here as they grew up and possibly struggled to find their way in the world. Growing up is a hard journey for everyone, but being pulled wayward by an interest (or desire) outside the general route could only make that the journey even more difficult. I have personal experience of a girl who befriended Mrs Freddy some 5 or 6 years ago, who failed to complete that journey.

I'm not sure any of us have better lives, by hiding our real self from the rest of the world. I suppose we often have to, and having no choice can be a simpler one than worrying about making the wrong choice. (As I've mentioned before, anxiety is very wearing.) In the great scheme of things I've had it good. When I used to dress up regularly, meaning 3 or 4 times a year, I did get to share my interest (eventually) with a small group of friends. We (girlfriend and myself) even made a late night visit to a couple while I was dressed up. But my interest was far from a full time, and the other 99% of my time was me in 'regular' mode. Put another way, I got to have my cake and eat it.

I've been very very lucky.

Others have a heavier burden, and that may well be the case here. I hope you find a path to where you want to be, with those you want to be with.

....

Edited March 20, 2013 by FastFreddy2

[Jinx]

Hmm... it has taken quite much longer than I expected, probably because of issues in relationship didn't resolved as in timely manners as I thought and hoped for, but it starts to look like we have finally resolved at least most of the issues and trust and honesty has been built again to the level where it should be for any relationship to work. Living and learning is constant motion and seems that we all are blind to some holes on the ground and missteps do happen.

All energy has been drained by the issues at home plus I've had huge workload from my employer so there has not been any power left to sport out in heels, just some minor stuff, but last week I had fun situation I want to share with you;

I was shoe shopping with my wife and our friend couple. Our friends are getting married this weekend, and they were looking for wedding shoes. Other half of that couple has quite big feet for woman, EU size 43-44 depending on the shoe and they didn't know where to look for women dress shoes that size (she has always worn only sneakers and crocs). Well, I happen to know some shoe shops in our town so I knew where to take them. And it didn't take long to find suitable shoes for her, not heels but nice dress shoes anyway. Then we started to look shoes for second half of that couple, she has some issue with her legs so no high heels for her either. While we were browsing through the shoe racks, she made a joke that maybe I should wear heels for their wedding because either of them won't. I took the moment and picked up red ankle boots with 4" stiletto heel from the nearest shelf and put the shoe on and modeled to my friends 'like this you want?'. My wife was very cool about it, she played along and was making statements how good the shoe looks on me, and second half of the couple who dared me was also very cool about it, but first half was freaking out and she didn't know what to say or how to act it was hilarious moment.. not because I was trying on the heeled shoe, but how she reacted and everyone else was so cool.

We had one of our kids with us there too, and she drag her mother bit away and made a statement that only her mother can come. Later my wife told that kid was bit unsure how to react when dad put girls shoe on, that she said that boys can't wear girls stuff. My wife told her that there is nothing wrong if girls want to wear boys stuff or boys want to wear girls stuff. It was quick discussion but shows how deeply our society is labeling girls and boys, and how 9 years old is already confused if someone crosses the 'norm' gender line. And it shows how deeply those labels are planted to even 9 years old girls head, even we constantly talk about gender neutrality and freedom of will and everything, we have very close friends, gay couple, getting married this weekend and our kids call them both mothers for their kids and everything... our kids have open minds, and still she is confused about what she saw. It could be that issue was that DAD did something like that, it could have been totally normal moment if some other man had done that... who knows. But of course I know 9 years old head is going wobbles on every new situation and it matters most how we react on those moments... and our reactions and words will count later when kids grow. Hopefully they learn our way of thinking.

I also tried some wedge sneakers I've been looking to buy for some time already, but didn't like the look on me of particular model they had there so I skipped them.

I was about to drop just a quick one liner to update some of my status but seems I had more to open up after long silence...

[FastFreddy2]

Another interesting report! Thank you.

I have a lot of sympathy for trying to be careful with children, and taking care of their perceptions of what is "normal", what is acceptable. There is much I would share about my past, my present, with my immediate family. But expecting children to be as accommodating as an adult could or should be, maybe a tall ask. I'm sure they have a greater ability to accept an unusual situation, but may not be able to cope with all the negatives that could come out of that situation.

For example: A child brought up with two fathers, or two mothers, may fully enjoy that situation. Further, they may even understand that while their situation isn't the more common family setup, they don't feel negative about it? But are they, would they, be strong enough to withstand the verbal attacks from other children who did not find the situation so attractive or acceptable?

For my own situation; because you can't undo letting Jack out of the box, it's easier to keep him in it. I'm sure I will tell, but not for a while yet. The little fella I'm talking about is 10 years old, and of course knows everything about everything. (How little we actually know when we are young?) If it helps him stay confident, I don't need to burst his bubble with reality.

Has your daughter made any direct remarks to you about wearing red boots with 4" heels since? I would take some conversation about it as her confirming some acceptance, and feeling calm enough about it, to speak of it directly to you.

P.S.

Hope the wedding goes well!

........

Edited July 17, 2013 by FastFreddy2

[Jinx]

(How little we actually know when we are young?)

I think knowledge grows as needed, for our kids what they know now is 'everything' and is as it should, and when kids grow up they learn more, hopefully in some point they realize that learning is lifetime journey and you need to have open mind and heart to be ready to learn new every day in your life.

Has your daughter made any direct remarks to you about wearing red boots with 4" heels since? I would take some conversation about it as her confirming some acceptance, and feeling calm enough about it, to speak of it directly to you.

Nope, topic has not brought up after the shopping trip. I think I will bring it up at some point, but not going to push it.

Every now and then she does bring up the costume party where I dressed as a woman and her mother as Elvis. It is still somewhat confusing for her that dad did play girls role. Maybe I'll talk to her about the shopping thing next time the issue comes up from her side.

P.S.

Hope the wedding goes well!

Thanks! I'm sure everything will be perfect, but I'm still bit nervous, I'm performing there on 3 songs which 2 are new songs I've composed and arranged for the wedding. One cover song, which I've arranged for my acoustic guitar and lady singer, as a part of ceremony, and two more during the night. One is performed by wedding couple, I'll be playing guitar and rest of 'band' is playback (I can't play all instrument live, had to record them in advance ). Another one of my compositions is performed by my wife and me on the guitar again, song will be surprise for the wedding couple. Lyrics for the new songs are written by other half of the wedding couple, she is poetess. Even I've been producing and arranging music for some years already and in past made and played lots of own music, I'm still bit nervous as It will be first public presentation for my own composed music for years (+15 years or so). And it happens live, in front of some professional musicians joining the wedding... I know I'll be fine, this is just normal performance anxiety I'm going through

Based on the shopping trip, our friends have made jokes couple of times about me wearing heels for their wedding, so I'm actually planning to take some high heeled shoes to wedding and see if there would be a moment to put them on and play little joke back on wedding couple... we'll see

[FastFreddy2]

I've been the 'official' wedding photographer at two weddings. Unpaid, but with the same responsibility of a paid professional. Artistically the first was a disaster. 3pm wedding on an overcast early November afternoon, it was practically dark when we did the group photo outside the church. I swore I'd never do it again. The couple were happy though, as the photo's I took were just about the only ones they had to celebrate their marriage.

More recently I found myself volunteering to do the photo's for a second couple. Both marrying for the second time, so neither in their best condition, looks wise. Consequently the bride wasn't so keen on photo's. The groom was, and I said I'd do what I could to make them both happy with the results. Lovely sunny day, got lots of group photo's, and lots of the happy couple. They were both pleased with the results, so I guess it went ok.

Sad ending to the story ....... They had been interested in each other when young, and eventually got back together when they both lost their respective first spouses. After being together for 3 or so years, they married. They were together for a another couple of years, when the husband died suddenly, though he did have a list of medical problems. (A photo I'd taken at the wedding, was used on the funeral Order of Service.) Thankfully, they had made the most of their time together, and the widow has many happy memories to live with. He was a lovely man, who I quite liked.

So!

It seems you are heavily involved with the wedding, and also performing. I'm sure the night before the event, you'll get less sleep than the couple getting married. You are very brave to take on the role you have.

I'm sure it'll go well though. Sounds like you have done a lot of preparation, and have the skills and experience to 'pull off' the event. . Obviously we can't join you, but if there's any chance of showing us some video of you performing (with heels or without), I'm sure we'd all welcome the chance of watching.

Once again, good luck with the day.

[Jinx]

What a weekend! Not maybe heelwise, but wedding was just perfect. Wedding couple was so touched by the songs and the whole party was success to every minute of it. Unfortunately there was no one shooting with video camera so there is no videos to show.

I didn't wear heels to wedding, even thou I was prepared with black leather ankle boots with 10 cm spike heels, but I decided not to. Next morning when we got to the hotel room of wedding couple, I put the heels on and showed them to the wedding couple and my wife, and sort of delivered the promise and dare to wear the heels for them. Other half who dared me for the heels, hugged me with tears of joy and said that she was sure that she can count on me... and for sure I will be wearing heels with them in short future, I know I have full support!

[FastFreddy2]

wedding was just perfect. Wedding couple was so touched by the songs and the whole party was success to every minute of it.

Very, very well done!

Sounds like you your contribution made a significant impact on the success of the day. You're a brave man.

[Jinx]

Very, very well done!

Sounds like you your contribution made a significant impact on the success of the day. You're a brave man.

Thanks! I really had a good day, not speak about how good day wedding couple had

Today at lunch break I tried some ankle boots at Dinsko, low 6cm (2.3") heel. Felt ok, but I don't know if it is the warm weather or what, but I decided to leave them to shop... maybe I will pick up them later... would fit quite well to every day wear. Price was not bad either, only 35€... which means fake leather, but I'm fine with that.

[shyguy]

Very nice looking boots, the kind of thing I would like to wear.

Congrats on gaining more acceptance with your newly wed friends.

[Jinx]

Very nice looking boots, the kind of thing I would like to wear.

Congrats on gaining more acceptance with your newly wed friends.

Thanks shyguy.

I finally bought the boots in my previous posting. Went shopping with my wife and our youngest kid. I tried the boots on at the fully crowded shop, while my wife and kid was looking for kids shoes. I had some looks and grins from other guys at the store, but nothing bad or finger pointing. Very good experience, sales guy was treating me and and heel trying and buying as any other customer with any other shoes.

I wore the new boots to local bar later that night, that's me singing karaoke in the bar Got looks, I think almost everyone noticed my shoes that I didn't try to hide at all, but no comments or anything, very very good experience again. Friend from previously married couple was in the bar with us, I got compliments from her for my shoes

Another event, couple of weeks ago I spent half of a day in these

I was in shopping mall with my wife, walked around probably couple of miles, few looks but no comments. This time I had long pants to cover almost whole heel. No pictures of that outfit, we were just wandering around and buying stuff

[FastFreddy2]

I wore the new boots to local bar later that night, that's me singing karaoke in the bar Got looks, I think almost everyone noticed my shoes that I didn't try to hide at all, but no comments or anything, very very good experience again.

Another win! Well done sir!

You are in good company. Seen today in one of our on-line national newspapers .....

Contestant and now TV presenter Ryan Clark

Link to article >> here <<

Of course, you entertainers are well-known for your eccentricities, so would probably be entitled to a lot of latitude when it comes to 'dress sense'.

Another entertainer known for 'working it', also appearing today .....

Link >> here <<

[Jinx]

Thanks FF don't know about the entertainer but eccentric yes, that's me

Tomorrow we (me and my wife) are going to meet some people from other internet site, I'm planning to wear the new ankle boots for the meeting, for dinner and evening activities included (read: bar, most probably singing)... nothing too formal so bootcut jeans and some casual dress shirt could be my choice for tomorrow. Black leather jacket would fit the black boots to the outfit. We are seeing some people I already know, but also some new faces. Meeting is not in my home town so I'm very tempted to wear the boots. My wife asked today if I'm going to wear some heels to the meeting and she said that it is 110% OK for her if I do so. On the other hand I'm tempted to wear something more daring, but then again my common sense is fighting back to wear something not too edgy. Tomorrow will tell

[FastFreddy2]

My wife asked today if I'm going to wear some heels to the meeting and she said that it is 110% OK for her if I do so. On the other hand I'm tempted to wear something more daring, but then again my common sense is fighting back to wear something not too edgy. Tomorrow will tell

I think you have to decide .... What would happen if the situation was not agreeable to new friends? If they are aware/expecting heels. then go as 'eccentric' as you would like.

If they are completely unaware, then bootcut jeans over (read: "covering") modest heels should be very acceptable?

Of course, we expect FULL REPORT. Good luck!

[Jinx]

Great weekend behind! First of all, I decided to go in stealth mode, bootcut jeans with new ankle boots. But hey, 2 days in a row in heels (even not that high but still)

Unfortunately I don't have any pics from the night or my outfit in general. I asked my wife to take a pic of me during the night but we both forgot whole picture taking, we had so good time that my shoes were not in mind at all... kind a good sing, it was so natural.

But report... hmm, where should I start... it was evening and night with 14 women and me some in heels, nothing spectacular except my wife, she had my favorite nude calf high boots with 4" heels first we gathered to one bar/pub, where we had few beers and got to know each others. Some knew others already, but there was many new faces. Then we went to Italian restaurant where we had cabinet reserved for the dinner. At that point some had noticed my shoes, I could tell it from the quick looks down to my feet, but no one said anything, it was silent acceptance in my opinion because shoes (mine or anyone else) was not topic during whole night... ok, some were discussing about heels for few minutes but nothing major.

In the restaurant our cabinet was in upstairs and stairs was wide open from the side to other restaurant and when I walked the stairs few times, I really got some long staring and looks from the people sitting towards to stairs, but I didn't hear anything said or shouted, at least when I was around. For sure I caused some discussions on the tables but why should I care? even with bootcut jeans the heels are exposed full wide when walking the stairs.

After dinner we walked cross half of the town to find next bar to hop in, after awhile we found place where they had karaoke, but unfortunately list was already full so we had to skip the singing part for the night. But anyway we had good time in the bar, bar was fully crowded and I didn't notice anyone noticed my shoes.

Next morning I decided to wear the boots still, so second day in a row in heels. We shortly met some of the others from last night at the city center. Still no single word from my shoes. Everyone hugged and we said goodbye, I guess next meeting is already in plans.

[FastFreddy2]

But report... hmm, where should I start... it was evening and night with 14 women and me some in heels

You could have stopped right there, and I would have said you had a great night out, even if you ended up in jail.

.... nothing spectacular except my wife, she had my favorite nude calf high boots with 4" heels

Thankfully no jail ..... But some enthusiastic support too. Lucky, lucky man.

In the restaurant our cabinet was in upstairs and stairs was wide open from the side to other restaurant and when I walked the stairs few times, I really got some long staring and looks from the people sitting towards to stairs, but I didn't hear anything said or shouted, at least when I was around. For sure I caused some discussions on the tables but why should I care? even with bootcut jeans the heels are exposed full wide when walking the stairs.

........

Next morning I decided to wear the boots still, so second day in a row in heels. We shortly met some of the others from last night at the city center. Still no single word from my shoes. Everyone hugged and we said goodbye, I guess next meeting is already in plans.

As good as it gets?

Living the life your soul wants to live. Excellent report.

[Jinx]

You could have stopped right there, and I would have said you had a great night out, even if you ended up in jail.

 

Living the life your soul wants to live. Excellent report.

 

Haha    and thanks 

 

Yesterday I took quick visit to same bar again as last time, we sang few songs with my wife, had couple of friends there too. I wore the low black ankle boots again, no comments from anyone. Good evening out once again

[Jinx]

Long time silence again. Had knee injury and had to stop wearing heels for almost one and half months, so there was not much to report. Also other aspects of life, mostly work related, have taken my time in full so there has been very little room for anything lately.

 

But luckily my knee is fine again and happily it cured just for my birthday nice present from Ms. Higher Will and Mr. Karma And I got a present for myself as well, I finally bought the hidden wedge sneakers I've been looking for a long time.

 

 

Found these from Spirit Store. First tried on size 40 to find out that the model runs bit small. Then asked sales lady for next bigger size which she happily delivered for me from storage area. After trying out the bigger size, she came to ask if that size fits better to which I agreed and headed to pay for the shoes. Great experience trying and buying shoes again, sales lady was very professional and she obviously had zero issues of me buying heels.

 

My wife browsed the shelves as well and I ended up buying her these ankle boots.

 

 

And what else I could do but wear my new present right away for the night out with my friends! We were celebrating my birthday, me and my wife and two of our friends (the married couple of the summer wedding). First we went to a crowded restaurant to eat some Mexican food and enjoy some drinks, then we moved up to the karaoke bar (what a surprise ) where we sang for couple of hours and had few more drinks, and later on headed to night club where danced till 4 am.

 

My wife ended up wearing her new boots as well for the night out 

 

As the heels of my new sneakers are very stealth, there was zero issues during the night, I think nobody even recognized that I was wearing heels. I had also zero issues wearing them the whole night, even danced like 4 hours in a row my feet were still ok and I enjoyed my shoe selection whole night.

[shyguy]

. Belated happy birthday, and what a treat you gave yourself, those hidden wedges look great

[Jinx]

Thanks Shyguy!