Puffer

Much the same as the City of Brighton & Hove then! (Off there later today - if I can afford to park the car. No, not for 'Gay Pride' but to visit relatives!)

The 'floating hotel' holiday is certainly a good intro to canal cruising and helping to work the boat and locks would be an integral part of the cruise, although not compulsory. But a complete DIY venture is even more fun and the learning curve is quite shallow. By the way, although I believe that a very occasional narrowboat has crossed the Channel under its own power, the exercise is not recommended and requires a number of safety precautions, and special insurance. So, importing red diesel into Belgium by that means is not really an issue!

Yes, although boats are sunk rather than derailed!

Yes, that should be the case, and certainly before Brexit was announced. I find it hard to understand why there should be any sanction against nationals of one state bringing such a commodity, lawfully obtained there, into another state, at least for personal use - tobacco being a prime example. But then of course tax and duty rates (and indeed the application of taxes and duties) are not harmonised throughout the EU - and the Belgians and others have criticised the UK for its over-generous treatment in the case of this fuel. I now expect to see a UK resident fined for smoking his (lower-taxed) Belgian cigar on landing at Dover. What compounds the 'fuel' nonsense is that any trace of red diesel discovered in one's tank in Belgian waters is enough to trigger the fine. The only sure way would be to drain and purge the fuel tank before entry - both ridiculous and virtually impossible to do, quite aside from safety and pollution issues. You couldn't make it up ...

Idiosyncratic, certainly, and she is worth a second glance. Elegant, perhaps, but such quirky fashion is not really 'elegant' in my book.

I think costs may well be cheaper in terms of ownership, but not necessarily hiring. There are certainly some picturesque and interesting journeys to be made, although I've never cruised on continental waterways (or indeed in any bars!). I was surprised to learn the other day that Belgium (and I think most other European countries) prohibits the use of red diesel in pleasure craft. Some British sailors have been heavily fined for entering Belgian waters with red diesel in their boat's tanks, despite that fuel being lawfully purchased and used in the UK. Surely common sense should prevail and any vessel carrying nothing more than its own full tank of fuel should be entitled to fill-up wherever it happens to be and enter any waters. After all, no-one is penalised for filling a road vehicle with diesel in a country where it happens to be cheaper (lower tax) and then driving into another country, Belgium included.

Narrowboats on British canals are fun, whether for a holiday or (lifestyle permitting) as a residence. But don't underestimate the limitations or the costs. Moorings, insurance and basic licences aside, maintenance does not come cheap and regulations are becoming more stringent about the condition and use of vessels. And boats are no longer able to run on red diesel; as I understand it, the propulsion element of diesel usage is no longer relieved of duty although the heating element is - so a composite rate of tax is charged although this does reflect the assumed heating element fairly generously. (I don't write from personal experience of owning a narrowboat but my brother has owned one for years and his annual outlay on it, regardless of cruising use, is by no means trivial.) As to narrowboat holidays, these have become significantly more expensive in recent years and compare quite unfavourably with many more sophisticated holidays at home or abroad, more's the pity. Frankly, I would not now consider such a holiday unless arranged on a group basis (family or otherwise) for 6 - 8 people. There are two good reasons for this: (a) the cost per head is much lower as the group gets bigger - most of the hire cost relates to the basic provision of the boat and its fuel; (b) the chores are more fairly spread and the holiday is more relaxing for all. (Contrary to popular belief, spending most of one's holiday on the tiller, working locks or in the galley is not much fun, but can be inevitable if the crew is only husband and wife.) Get a good group together and a fairly 'busy' itinerary and, almost regardless of weather and location, a great week afloat is almost guaranteed.

The more I see, the less I like about her clothes and general appearance, heels aside. The pic above makres her look borderline anorexic.

I agree from the close-up of Mathilde's shoes that they don't look as high as I suggested before, i.e. 4.5". I can only say that they did seem higher when viewed side-on as she laid her wreath. But they still appear nice, as she does. As to Celine, the actual height of her heels is really irrelevant as the angle of her foot says it all. If she can walk easily at that angle it doesn't matter whether she has small feet and a 4" heel or big'uns with a 6" heel. She is said to be 5' 7" and to wear a size 9US (7UK) shoe. I can't say I find her rather skinny body, or her often eccentric clothes, very attractive but she does wear some decent heels :

Here is the BBC2 programme shown last night: If you go to 27.30, you will see Mathilde and Kate laying wreaths. Their shoes are shown but the 'banner' does hide some of this - it was not present when I watched live yesterday.

Well, I'm sure there is something available - or watch the BBC2 one-hour programme (shown 7pm today) on I-Player. This pic shows her but not the shoes in detail; they were at least 4.5" in my estimation:

The boats pictured are houseboats; they may not even have engines so require permanent moorings - or towing. Frankly, I think they are rather ugly, although living on the water like that can be fun, given its limitations. But (and it is a big but), moorings, especially in London, can be both difficult to find and very expensive. I have no figures to hand but canal-dwelling is not such a free-and-easy and affordable way of life as might be believed. I have certainly enjoyed many holidays on a traditionally-shaped, powered narrowboat and commend it as a relaxing way of seeing the country (and the historic industrial areas too) from a new and generally peaceful perspective. I'm not so sure though about living permanently on a crowded London canal such as at Little Venice or near Camden Lock.

Celine's shoes are OK, and certainly a good height, but that set-back heel tends to emphasise her somewhat unbalanced look - as if she is being pushed forward because her feet are being jacked-up at the back! If the heels were positioned more forward under her feet, she would look more elegant - there is too much of her shoe overall lying behind her leg-line. If you saw the Queen of the Belgians on TV today (at the Passchendaele ceremony), you might well agree with me that she looked both attractive and elegant in high stilettos - and walked with ease on what was not the easiest of surfaces, both grass and rubber matting. Kate looked good too, but had hedged her bets with lower stilettos than usual for her. And Theresa copped out with clumpy blocky courts.

By your yardstick - which I entirely identify with - the Floralys is certainly acceptable. Unlike many competing products, a single thickness will suffice - with others, doubling over is often necessary 'for safety' and that of course correspondingly doubles the effective cost. And many other products tend to rip anywhere but on the perforation when attempts are made to pull off a sheet (or two) - more waste. I well recall a little ditty from my schooldays: 'Bronco is so strong and true; it never lets your finger through'. (But it was (is) rather too rough for delicate souls - with or without a preceding 'R'.) Be patient, Freddy, you will surely have a handy Lidl ere long, as the master-race grocer conquers further heathen lands north of the Thames. I have the opposite problem of no Aldi currently nearer than about 18 miles, although the expectation is there.

What was it all about? I don't recognise any of them or the situation, apart from some reference to 'Kinky Boots'.

In my humble experience after brief trials, the Floralys provided the right combination of strength, thickness and comfort - as well as being better value than any 'quality' paper I had previously tried. However, I believe that the particular grade (red motif) I have been using is not currently available from Lidl (in the UK anyway), for reasons unknown, although the currently-available 'premium' product (orange motif) seems almost as good. And I hear that Aldi offers a good equivalent too, yet to be tried ...

1. Last time I looked, there was certainly a page 3 - but I can't recall whether it featured any scantily-clad ladies. 2. If you do stick to it, then you really will need that Jap gadget! (Moreover - or under - the premium Floralys from Lidl is better and cheaper than Andrex.)

I believe that a few people north of London have been known to use it too - after perusing page 3 of course.

Exactly! And you wouldn't need (or probably want) to wear either shiny PVC or OTK boots if you were climbing Everest - 'because it is there' and fulfilling enough by itself.

I've seen similar pics of men in sandals - but squatting by the roadside in India. That piece of paper looks a tad small, however.

Perhaps Freddy means 'wear them out' in the sense of 'wear them to destruction'? I think we should be told ... Lif is full of ambiguities, such as the golfer who stated that, just an hour after he put on his new golfing shoes, he got a hole in one.

Not recently, anyway. As a youngster, I was supposed to 'Walk the Startrite way' ... ... but mercifully not in this bloke's company:

Agreed!

Indeed, and potentially a trigger for racism, alas.

And there's me thinking I was the only man in your life, Freddy - and now you leave me devastated to know there is another ... [Puffer flounces away with a disdainful toss of the head and tears in his eyes, only to catch his 5" heel on the carpet and fall over ]