Leaderboard

Coincidentally, an article appeared today, in my usual source of high heel wearing women in the media.... >> here << The article is interesting, and slightly pertinent, in that it relates to relationships later in life, or the lack of them... Please read the comments. It may be mine is recognised... But read them all. Ref the the 'dressing up' ..... and making effort in (say) the bedroom.... I've spent a lot of time 'learning' about what makes people, mostly women, "tick". I started this in earnest around the age of 17, when for me, Cosmopolitan was mandatory reading. It lined me up for what was low expectation on my part, and high on 'theirs'. Cosmo women expected attentive, enthusiastic partners who delivered. (If you thought "delivered what", you are already behind in the game. Everything and anything should have been your assumption.) Putting that into perspective, I was born in a time when women were almost unpaid help for the breadwinner, and pretty much got -only- what was allowed. This may well have been different in better off families where women folk might have had a better education, came from a more liberal family ... But not in my circle. Cosmo sought to change that, to make women at least the equal of men, and perhaps more. In any relationship, as far as I know anyway, I've always assumed equal status with anyone. Be that male friend, or girlfriend, often boss, and even employee/staff. That doesn't mean I've always been treated as an equal, more of someone with a 60% shareholding with the voting rights of the larger shareholder. Or perhaps that since I seem to 'assume the role' of major shareholder, I got the role of major share owner. In practice that meant: I decided places to visit, and likely when. Not least because no-one else was interested in participating in the decision process, or in my early days, of funding it. To an outsider, it might seem like I'm the decision maker. Maybe so, but only because there is no will or want from anyone else. That was also -largely- true when I used to organise our groups weekend social activity, back in my youth. As far as relationships go, I'm quite laid back, but like to think I put in as much as I take out. I'm lucky in that I've avoided the wear and tear of being a parent, pretty much. I've also missed out on some of the joy of course. So far as intimacy is concerned, I rather fancy I did well in my more active years. Cosmo taught me that I come second, and I pretty much took that literally. It was always appreciated in the right quarters. I've not readily tolerated what women would called 'being used'. I once had a girlfriend who was incredibly good looking. How I got her as a girlfriend, I can't tell you. Good car, job, possibly looks, I don't know. What I do know, is she expected to be treated like a princess. We lasted around 6 or so weeks. She was nice, so I'm not being critical. She was the youngest of two daughters, and her boyfriend for the previous two years was probably out of his depth with such a smart/intelligent girl, and followed her fathers lead. I have deep pockets and short arms, so .... Since I have never found the female form particularly simulating in itself, intimacy for me has always involved a bit of dressing up. Always. There has been the odd occasion when naked body met naked body, but I suspect these were so few in the last 30 something years, I could probably count them on the fingers of my two hands. Just to confirm, I wouldn't be doing any of the 'dressing up' either. If my lover wanted to stop having 'relations' it would be an easy matter, no 'dressing up'. As with my previous comments, and those written in the (linked) article, women and sex later in life, is an unusual thing. Companionship, friendship (hopefully) and a common direction are the best to hope for. Unless ..... Someone I met around 3 years ago ... Told me about his 70+ year old pal. (He was around the same age at the time.) They drank locally in the same pub, and had done for years. Apparently his mate was a 'bit of a one' with the ladies. He knew several women, not necessarily single, in their 70's and 80's happy to get a bit of male attention in the bedroom department. One in particular, a lady in her early 80's, was still very keen. I don't how or why, but she was "grateful" as he put it. Hope for us all? While I do get a bit of justifiable ear-ache from Mrs Freddy, we both enjoy reasonably good health, and thus far, no sign of the bailiffs. We could be doing better, and equally, we could be doing much worse. Barring the odd 'wrinkle' every 4 or 6 months when my lack of progress with the house comes to a head, we have an easy going, respectful co-existence. I think I'm lucky, though I've spent a long time 'learning the skills' it took to become "lucky".