Leaderboard

Sad to read Ludovic. FastFreddy2 thats a long post but you are right. I had cancer myself 5 years ago and yes it does make ye think about life. It makes you realize even more that we have only 1 change and there is no rerun. We have to do it in this one. So try it , talk about about it with the mrs. And on a sidenote I would love to get inside woman heads to find out why it is such a bad/terrible/scary/horrible thing about man wearing heels. Woman can so much more be themselves with fashion why is that such a problem in society for man?

Rather sadly, I would have to agree that it doesn't bode well. I'm gonna 'fess up to completely understanding her P.O.V. on the matter, though (obviously) I can't agree with it. Just about every girlfriend (and the one wife) I've had, has been told about my interest in heels, and my (ancient history) of dressing up to go out to clubs. There may have been exceptions, but none past a 3rd or 4th date. Both them and I, never expected a return of my interest, but it was always a liability. I've a tolerant wife, so I count myself lucky I get to do pretty much as I please. That said, I lost a lot of promising relationships because their tolerance ran out. - Maybe. [Not heel related.] I'm where I am because I engineered it. I provide a lot of entertainment with my heel wearing, making it a pleasant experience for us both. Any situation has to be improved, if there's fun and/or entertainment involved. I have mentioned before (here or HHp) spending an afternoon out with my wife on her birthday in heels. It was during my early daytime heel wearing experience, when I was much less self assured about the idea. We went to an exhibition she was very very very keen to go to, that she knew would be (almost) torture to me. A 40 minute walk around the exhibits, took her 3 hours. I drove 40 miles to the venue. We had a good lunch. Did the exhibition. Spent some time in the bookshop afterward, where I bought her a large volume centred on the exhibition. We then had some supper [pancakes I think] before leaving. She was so wrapped up in the day, I could have had green skin and she may not have noticed. We are going to the same venue to see a band in a couple of weeks. [Elbow at the O2.] Our seats are sponsored (read supplemented) by her employers, but it's still an expensive evening out that wouldn't have happened without my efforts (and wallet) to make it happen. I won't be wearing 5" stiletto's as I might like, but I will be in heels. (We are going to a VIP Suite that's very close to the VIP car park, so 5" heels would be realistic. Proximity helps add to the expense. ) You haven't asked for advice, but I'm going to offer it anyway. (Sorry. ) I would think any woman, or 3rd party male (friend/work colleague) is going to find cowboy boots hard to complain about. It would just be ridiculous (read unreasonable) to create a dispute over a men's style of footwear. They come in various heel heights, even mens. They come at various levels of expense, so don't need to be outrageously expensive [so no Charlie 1 Horse boots.] Buy some with a 2 inch heel, and wear them as a dress shoe. If this creates a problem, then maybe there is an underlying issue that needs to be talked through? One of the things I have in mind when writing about this, is maybe a fear that a shoe with any sort of heel, is the thin end of a cross-dressing wedge? You will know better than any of us, the ways that this could pan out, and may already know if this isn't a goer. If it isn't, if a 2 inch heel would cause problems, there would appear to be issues beyond heels. I'm a less than perfect husband, but I do what I can to (help) have myself appreciated. It earns me Brownie points, that I cash in when I want to wear heels. These days, me not wearing heels would draw more attention than wearing them. Plus, I usually stick to a thicker heel in daylight. (Not always, but usually.) I would hope any of us could earn those 'points', even if it meant cashing in some birthday (present) extra's too? e.g. "It's my birthday and we are eating out in the city, I'd like to wear a modest (chunky) heel." Would it be so unreasonable, given the interest in wearing heels is always on the agenda? I'm not advocating a row/argument over this. I assume there might have been one or two already. But surely there's a place for self-expression in every relationship? As long as it harms no-one, as long as it upsets no-one, why not? With the shoe on the other foot (ha ha) .... While not being a terribly good husband, I try hard to support my wife in everything she does. ["Hard" because it isn't always that easy.] If she comes home upset with work, I support the notion her workplace undervalues her contribution. [Actually, they do.] I agree with her views, and encourage her to stay strong in adversarial situations there. I try to provide good counsel. When she wants to have a holiday away with her girlfriends, although I will miss her, I enthuse about her time away. My jealousy over her having such a good time without me, is never mentioned. When she would prefer to have a drink or two while out (and two would be the max), I will offer to drive her 10 miles to the venue, and collect her to come home, whatever time it is. I encourage her to have a social life away from me. [Help to encourage some independence.] I suppose it's evidence of me caring for her? It isn't one sided. She knows that if I have a need to do something, part of her job is to help me. I'm tempted to say 'part of her duty' ...... but I would loathe to put her in the situation where she thought free choice [to say no] wasn't available. A couple of shoe related examples: (i) Some shoes she knew I liked were bought at discount with her debit card. [Gets points for spending.] I thought I'd overspent on shoes recently, so said I couldn't afford them. She offered to pay fro them as an early Christmas present. (ii) When we were in London recently and I had to take some shoes back, she agreed to return them without much resistance. [i usually do my own returns, but there was an extra ingredient making it easier if she returned them.] I stood close to the till, but the real effort came from her. And I know she doesn't even like taking her own purchases back ..... There's a lot about your life I could envy. But if I had no outlet for my (current) interest, [photography; mountain biking; heels;] I'm not sure I could manage quite as well as you have. And to be frank, I'm not sure I would want to. I'm at the age where people I know are getting unwell. A good friend of a good friend, (I go out with her while wearing heels) found out her good friend was in hospital ill. He's had something of a chest infection for 2-3 weeks, and his girlfriend finally got him into hospital on the Saturday. I managed to get her (my good friend) to see him on the Tuesday evening just before he passed away. [Him fit and active, aged 59.] Another personal friend of mine, has just left hospital having gotten pneumonia. While X-Raying his lungs, they have found a shadow. He will need 3 or 4 more weeks of anti-biotic's before he is fit enough to tolerate chemotherapy. He's in his mid forties, but is a heavy smoker and drinker. They are not sure his liver is in good enough shape for chemo, even if his lungs are. My wife's friend is waiting for treatment on a growth in her neck. Apparently, it's so large now, it's affecting her face and she doesn't want to meet her friends. Her sky-high blood pressure, is preventing early testing and remedial treatment. There are also worries about facial disfigurement, post op, and that's without any further concerns about it being malignant. She in her 50's, and quite a glamorous girl given her age. We lost two neighbours to age related illness in the last month. ** Another has a rare form of stomach cancer, and is not responding well to treatment. ** Speaking to a neighbour this morning, it looks like we have had 3 losses this month. He tells me both halves of a couple passed within a week of each other, not just the husband as I had originally believed. I regularly (too regularly these days), get reminded about how short our life is. We seldom regret the things we do. Most regret comes from things we don't do. For my part, I have many bad decisions behind me, but very few are from me having walked away from doing something I really wanted to do. I certainly could have had a much more productive life, but all work and no play? So you'll understand why I might be reluctant to suppress a strong desire? Not for the first time, I wish you well on your journey. ...........