Shyheels

The anger and the personal jabs - pervert etc - would be something that I would have a very hard time dealing with and which would make me start looking for the exit; I don't see how one changes that. It is bullying. And while you can pursue you own 'me time' and do the things you want to do in the face of this hostility, I can't see much enjoyment or fulfilment coming from it in an atmosphere like that, which will only grown more heated the more independently you behave.

Furtiveness is never a good look...

I don't think anybody manages to fulfil all their dreams and the key to success and happiness is to appreciate what you have done/achieved, and recognise those aspirations which you have a reasonable shot at fulfilling and focus on those.

Interesting. I do a lot of landscape/travel work and love it. Each to his own. It is surprising sometimes how specialised each field can be. I was travelling once on a travel assignment with a photographer who was quite successful in advertising wrk. Did a lot of big budget shoots wit modes and stylists and production crews for some major soft drinks firms. You would think shooting a travel story would have been a doddle for him. He was utterly clueless. On the other hand, were you to drop me into one of his shoots and told me to get on with it, I'd have been overwhelmed and scared silly!

Alas, we do not necessarily get the 3 months or 6 months notice which allows us - or would allow us - to prepare for our departure and do, in extremis, those things we longed to do, tick off the unchecked items on our bucket lists. Any of us could be hit by a bus tomorrow or drop dead of some entirely unsuspected coronary trouble. And then it's age over. The end. No warning, no last minute chances to fulfil unrequited desire. It's over. There are absolutely no certainties in life and really the only way to life life is in the present - advice I am only too happy to give, agree with wholeheartedly, yet slow to follow myself, for all the usual fearful reasons and general procrastination. But it's true - there are no guarantees. We need to live our lives while we have them.

I’ve done my dash too.

I’ve been up the aisle twice. The first time didn’t take, but my second wife was the keeper!

Single? I was born single!

Yes, I used to be supremely fit - not quite in elite ranks for marathoning, but not a million miles from it either.

She does indeed sound like a keeper. Everybody would like to have the body they had in their twenties (although I would much rather have the maturity and wisdom I have now!) We all age...alas We bring our memories and experiences - and how nice its is to have someone there who knew just how it was way back when...

I am indeed very fortunate and I know it. I have no plans to wear my stilettos in public. I am fine with it personally (or would be once I can walk more fluidly!) but its would raise issues with friends and family (my wife's) and I would never do that. No man's an island - certainly not me. She is quite way with my low heeled suede otk boots though... Everybody is rather used to seeing me in those

My wife was quite the rock chic back in her twenties and looked stunning. She still looks stunning although the rock chic look has long since evolved into other directions. She can't wear heels because of her foot troubles but has told me my four-inch stilettos were exactly what she would live to have herself if she could wear heels; although she also said that four inches was a bit high for her even back in the day. She is very open and understanding.

My wife never asked any of those questions. She understood the appeal - she likes boots too, why shouldn't I?

It really sounds as tough you are in an unpleasant - nay, intolerable - situation with no real prospect of happy change, other than amputation I am really appreciating how fortunate I am in having a wife like mine. She is totally tolerant. Really quite cool. Alas she is working in her office at work today. I miss the companionable presence. I do have footwear my wife hates - she loathes my Asics trainers (which are, to be sure, a hideous yellow) !

I see what you mean...

Maybe it just looks better on the PVCs than in the colour sample. Sort of a blood red.

Quite striking Not my style but the colour is better than I was expecting.

I can’t see myself in them....

Yes, my wife did the PVC thing extraordinarily well, and totally still could - quite tall and willowy, although it’s not her thing anymore. She is still very stylish though, but in a different way.

Don’t I know it! It has been a wonderful, companionable week.

Well she was wearing heels too, so I guess she is really unthinkeable any way you want to look at it!

It was to a wedding we were going with my brother and his wife. Her outfit was just unbelievably hookerish, and I don’t mean high class hooker, I mean streetwalker. It was awful. My wife was quite the rock chic in her 20s and looked stunning.

There is no accounting for taste....

My wife worked from home yesterday and we were both sitting at the kitchen table with our laptops, me in my stiletto knee boots, her in her Uggs. It was very companionable. The weather was vile outside and as the hour approached when I would usually be going to the gym, she told me not to be silly; stay here and enjoy wearing your boots. I thought that was rather nice. Needless to say, I stayed!

Entirely correct! It is illogical. When you think of the catalogue of misdeeds that men do or are capable of, an inclination to wear heels ought to be near the very bottom of the list, somewhat below leaving the toilet seat up. At the very worst it ought to equate to wearing different colour socks. Women can indeed embarrass men with fashion choices. My brother's wife - in her fifties - has a tendency to dress like a hooker. I really am not keen on walking down the footpath in her company and do, in fact, tend to keep a deniable distance where possible...