Gatherings

[SAPOA]

I've read about some gatherings for guys in heels in the UK on this site. I just wondered if there are ever casual events like that here in the Northeastern USA ??? NYC would be a great place for one.

[SAPOA]

Yeah ...NYC for a high heels gathering ...I'll be there ,,, have heels, will travel...lets do it this summer , can't think of a better place.

[FastFreddy2]

There are 4 mysteries I don't ever expect to see resolved in my lifetime.

1. Mary Celeste <this is the correct spelling for the REAL incident>

2. Area 51

3. Who shot JFK

4. Why Men wearing heels don't socialise with each other very much ...

I'd like to attend a NYC for a H4M meet, but getting on for 3,500 miles of water will stop me. :-( That and an acute lack of the funds that might have enabled me to reduce that distance .... :-)

[JMC]

After watching the organization phase of a couple of heel-meets on the big site I have to conclude that organizing such a meet is a gargantuan task. Like trying to keep 30 or so corks under water in a fast-flowing stream!

First, you have time issues. Most of us do not have the freedom to take off and go wherever we want at any time, time off must be arranged in advance. Planning the heel-meet well in advance is the only way to address this but that brings other issues.

Second, also related to time, most of us have a limited amount of time off and other responsibilities. Ask a guy to make a choice between the family vacation and going to have a few beers with a bunch of guys in heels and guess which way the decision will come down.

Third, there are travel difficulties. Travel is expensive and the price of a plane ticket will buy a bunch of really nice heels. Especially on this side of the big puddle, distances can become very great indeed -- that 3500 miles won't even get you all the way across the country. Here in the U.S. I don't see heel-meets being anything but regional affairs.

[FastFreddy2]

I'd agree with cost of travel, and to some degree with scheduling .....

But time? No, gotta draw a line there.....

I have my doubts that few employed people wouldn't have the time to find one day in any 12 month period, to meet with others interested in one of their lifes' drivers. Perhaps unpaid carers who have a 24/7 commitment might not have time. Those in prison may not have (literally) the freedom to meet others either. But my life would be pitifully dour if I couldn't find a day for me to indulge, what is after all, a serious life interest. [Actually, I would find it disappointing if I couldn't manage one day a month, never mind one day a year.....]

Men with families will argue they have "commitments". Well, we make sure the parents of our grandchild get time for themselves by looking after their son as often as we are allowed. :-( They can have some completely free time to do what they want - unemcumbered - with their usual responsibilities. My personal belief is EVERY parent should have at least one day/evening a month "me" time, be it together or apart.

Perhaps there are parents with children who can't be looked after by anyone other than professionally trained personnel? Perhaps single (male) parents with no-one within 50 miles they could or would trust with their family? But these groups are going to be few and far between ... :-)

No. I think it's just easier (by some margin) to read the Forum, and maybe wistfully imagine chatting with like-minded people while wearing heels? [Or not wearing heels, if doing it with other people around might embarress.]

...

[JMC]

All I can say is it must be cozy in your little world, Freddy.

Or maybe heels are a bigger priority to you than they are to most of us.

[FastFreddy2]

Not quite sure how to take those comments .....

I don't have a "little world". True, I run my life, with the help of those around me. But "little", it isn't.

Cozy?

I've already written tonight about how much do-do I'm in. [True, all my own doing. :-(] And I'm in so deep I may be less than 2 weeks away from being prosecuted with a serious fine (up to 10's of thousands of pounds) and possible jail time were I suspected of doing seriously wrong.

Probably losing my business whatever happens ....

My father and his brother [my Uncle] in remission from cancer, and two of their sisters [my Auntie's] with what looks like terminal cancer ..... Cozy?

I'm not looking for sympathy here. I'm not the one who is ill!

I have a wound on my face that hasn't healed for a year. It's getting so noticable (bleeding) that I'm getting asked "what's up with .... ?" A more recent 'leak' from a tear inside my nose, that hasn't healed properly for nearly two months.... I need to get them checked out... sure. But I have other more immediate demands on my time right now. [Accounts, for example.] ..... Cozy?

Sure I like high heels. Sure I like wearing them. But even a priority?

I think you mistake my commitment to regular/normal/typical/usual social activity, as being extra-ordinary, rather than ordinary.

Do Train enthusiasts talk about a desire to see famous/well known vehicles, then don't? Do followers of bands or other entertainers talk of seeing them perform, and then don't? As a general remark, my life experience has taught me that people with similar interests meet up. Other commitments are arranged so hobbies and life interests can be indulged......

I don't think you have to myopic to visit a gym. I don't think you need to be myopic to go dancing, or visit a pub. I don't think you have to be myopic to think meeting other men interested in wearing heels might be attractive enough to make a couple of hours to actually meet up....

But hey .... why am I discussing what passes for normal behaviour? If members interest in heels is so low/small, why even visit a forum devoted to them? :-)

Obviously my enthusiasm isn't appreciated. Probably best if I take some time off. I've got too much trouble to deal with at the moment, to handle what seems like disfavourable comments while I'm trying to stir-up interest in a gathering. [Meaning: I'm probably over-sensitive.]

See you in a month.

....

.....

[JMC]

Okay, it is definitely time to take a step back and look at the big picture.

1). You expressed confusion as to why we guy heelers are reluctant to socialize.

2). I offered a couple of possible answers.

3). You "jumped in my chili" over one of my possible explanations, all but accusing me and other non-socializers of being slackers.

4). I made an observation that your perspective was perhaps a bit limited. That is what the "cozy little world" comment meant.

5). You responded with what can only be described as a rant. I must say your response comes across as over the top, at least as I see it.

You are obviously dealing with some serious issues. We all have lives and with lives come issues. Some of us may seem to have more challenges than others, life is unfair that way. But it is pointless to measure your own level of challenge against anybody else's -- we all have to play the hand we are dealt and we all have our own ways of coping. (Also, be careful what you wish for -- you just might get it.)

I did not intend to express overt disrespect to you, my comment was intended as a "tweak" at most.

(In closing I must point out that this is the behavior pattern that got you into trouble on the big site.)

Now let us get back to heels and how we integrate them into our lifestyles.

[FastFreddy2]

3). You "jumped in my chili" over one of my possible explanations, all but accusing me and other non-socializers of being slackers.

Absolutely untrue.

All I have ever said, is; "I don't understand". To convert that into "you slacker(s)" would need a slice of paranoia beyond my experience.

If I say I don't understand something, I expect the thing I don't understand to be explaned to me, if there's an explanation to be had. I don't expect personal slights to be made toward me? ie. I live in a "Cozy world." Plainly there's nothing cozy about my world, is there? And my remarks were passed back, not for fatherly advice about how I should deal with the problems I have, but to illustrate I'm not some rich playboy with time on his hands. I have just about as much on my plate as everyone else.

I happen to believe people (every man/woman) in the Western World work hard enough to deserve a couple of hours for a hobby every month. Who out there thinks this is wrong? I accept it may well be a priority thing, but there are plenty of people in the UK who continually express a desire to wear heels in public, to meet others with a shared interest, but then fail to do either.....

4). I made an observation that your perspective was perhaps a bit limited. That is what the "cozy little world" comment meant.

5). You responded with what can only be described as a rant. I must say your response comes across as over the top, at least as I see it.

.......

I did not intend to express overt disrespect to you, my comment was intended as a "tweak" at most.

(In closing I must point out that this is the behavior pattern that got you into trouble on the big site.)

My immediate response was; "I'm not sure how ro take your remarks." They were ambiguous to say the least. But then I had said as much, you (from then on) knew I might be barking up the wrong tree?

As for my getting into trouble on the other site .... Check my (then) Rep Value. Check my (then) Thanks value. Check my post number.

I had higher Rep levels than MANY people who had been members for years. I had higher Thanks levels, than many people who had been there years. I had higher post levels, than people who had been there years. I'm a contributor. Same here. Before I started posting regularly here, there were circa 60 members with some of even that small number I suspect obsolete. Even if they weren't, the membership has almost quadrupled since I've been posting, and helping whip interest with the other couple of contributors. A coincidence? ;-) The new members are not ALL people signing up from over from the other site. Our posts have produced traffic .....

When I first joined in on the other site, I almost immediately fell out with most of the Admin because my writing style was a bit 'freer' than the site was used to. I took advice (most of it via PM's) and got into the site style. Sadly, I had also inadvertently made a long standing member an enemy, for no better reason than he took an instant dislike to me. [i have his PMl still, and this remark is a toned down version of his direct remark to me.]

I was 'baited' into responding to him in an ungentlemanly way. [i can provide links to these via PM if necessary.] I got banned, and decided to keep away from the site, I don't even browse there. I still have copies of PM's that would have any impartial judge confirm my responses while ungentlemanly, were not inappropriate to the provocation I received, again mostly via PM. (So unseen by the Admin and Mods.)

I never purposely upset anyone. If ever I do inadvertently upset someone and I find out I have, my usual response is an immediate apology (public to start with), and a long PM trying to mend bridges and explain in very long hand (aka detail) how my original intent may have been misunderstood. I fail to see how this sort of behaviour can be seen as anything less than 'best practice'? In fact so keen am I for the world (my peers) to see how compliant (enthusiasm to follow the rules) I am, I actually banned myself for a month to make sure my behaviour was seen as reasonable?

Perhaps you didn't understand that suggestion I live in a "Cozy World", was no different than suggesting I live in a Fools Paradise? That's a personal remark that's hard to take as anything other than an insult, since only Fools live there ..... ?

I fell into a trap on the other site, and my getting banned was probably a neat and (dare I say) welcome solution to the complaint. Looks like I might be going down the same road here?

For the record .....

I've met a fair number of people off the Heel sites, I've also met a fair number of Mods. I've a handful of mobile numbers, which include those of some of the Mods. While I understand I might not have a 'best friend' amongst those, it does suggest I'm 'normal' enough to be trusted with personal phone numbers?

As some here will know, I've a number of Licenses that have either the Police, or the local Council involved. Attaining these has meant I've been on courses, been vetted and been interviewed. Each one has involved a criminal record check. [A fith license is underway.] If I'm ever found to have lost my temper, argued in public, threatened anyone over anything, gotten drunk and disorderly, even urinated in the street, I lose the lot. How could anyone ever think, I could be anything other than reasonable?

Rant ~ no. Frustrated with some always thinking the worst, sure! :-(

I just don't know what to do right, for doing wrong. No wonder folk aren't keen to post.

I don't lie. I never make anything up. The things I report, have happened. I never direct a critical remark at anyone. [Despite unsupportable claims to the contrary.] I try to be as helpful and pleasant as I can be. I try to provide support and personal experience when it appears it might be useful. But still I'm heading down the wrong route?

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Edited August 14, 2009 by FastFreddy2
Grammar, spelling. And a Vista update cutting the post in half.

[BobHH]

Take care of the medical stuff, Fast Freddy. Don't put it off. I speak from experience of not having done that. If it doesn't heal by itself, go have them take a look at it.

[FastFreddy2]

Cheers Bob.

Went to see the doctor, early last week. She said it's unlikely to be the big C, but it should have healed by now, especially given the Hydrocortisone (sp) treatment I've tried. Going back in 2 weeks less large scab that was there when I saw her last Tuesday, so she can see the holes/holes a bit better.

Current option includes tissue removal with a punch (if I heard that right) with analysis at pathology lab after minor op. Doctor was reasonably upbeat since all my sick relatives have water-works related cancers (or that's were they started leastways).

Dunno what's going on with the skin. It's a small area about 5mm round that just wll not heal? I go to bed with what looks like a drying/healing mark, and wake up to a hole with blood having oozed out of it during the night. Same problem if the wound is cleaned during the morning, nasty red patch 6-8 hours later.....

Thanks for the encouragement though. ;-)

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