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How To Let Your Friends And Family Know U Wear High Heels

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'Prudence' suggests you consult those you will be travelling with first? ;) 

It's one thing to stand 'loud and proud', but not so great if you create tension with business associates/friends when in a business setting. What you wear will not only reflect on you, but on them too. In that case, wouldn't it be better to let them participate in the decision, rather than pulling them into what might be 'the deep end'.

In a purely friends and family situation, your dress code would only reflect on you. In a professional environment, I think your group would be seen as a team. While your business associates/wife's friends are plainly accommodating, others may be less so. They might not say/do anything that you are aware of, but might choose to isolate members in your team when there is a choice?

 

Given how you wear a heel in public while at conferences, I'm surprised your son has no notion of your interest. I can't imagine a more mainstream place to wear a heel than in a business environment? How you sounded him out at all? :huh:    

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We are all independent distributors, so not work colleagues in the strict sense of the word, and no one in my immediate business circle would be isolated by associating with me. This is network marketing, not some stodgy bureaucratic environment. The people who know about my heels know I wear them for the sake of my back. So if anyone even notices the heels they can either ask me (no one has yet commented, anywhere!) or just file me in their minds as a weirdo or perhaps feel jealous I have the guts to express a preference for heels publicly. I'm currently wearing a pair of block heel oxfords at home. Heel just under 4 inches total with a lift of 3.5 inches. A bit on the low side for my liking but as close as I've found to a formal business shoe to wear with a suit. I'm not sure my wife knows about these yet although they've been in my wardrobe for several months. I might wear these to the company conference later this month instead of the wedge boots. I've worn them publicly a couple of times.

I've never sounded out this son although I've been wearing cowboy boots very similar to the ones in your pictures earlier in this thread when the other son has been around. However, he lives in his own dream world so may well not have noticed. The one who called in unexpectedly has partly cross-dressed in a school play but so far as I know has expressed no interest to anyone in doing it regularly. One of his best (male) friends wore stilettos at least four inches in that play, so he may well have tried them. I think the best introduction would be with my concealed heels, but I don't know if either of us is ready for the test... Funnily enough, I think his girlfriend would love it! She's a wonderful girl - fantastic sense of humour and really outgoing. She told the interviewer for her current job that he would look good in a dress! He hired her!

I think everything comes down to what I've come to realise from personal experience more than once: we have not the slightest idea what's going through the minds of people - even those we think we know well. I met two persons on Fetlife I'd never previously thought of being anything other than innocuous - one turned out to be a business acquaintance, one lives a few hundred yards from me... The first one has a major fetish for silky underwear, the second is into bondage and cocksucking.

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7 hours ago, Russ in boots said:

I think everything comes down to what I've come to realise from personal experience more than once: we have not the slightest idea what's going through the minds of people - even those we think we know well. I met two persons on Fetlife I'd never previously thought of being anything other than innocuous - one turned out to be a business acquaintance, one lives a few hundred yards from me... The first one has a major fetish for silky underwear, the second is into bondage and cocksucking.

I would completely agree. 

Personally, I don't give a rats anus what people are "into", as long as children or unwelcome abuse, are not involved. In fact I would even go so far as to believe the weirder, the greater the potential for being entertaining or stimulating of mind. B) Conversely, I find anyone who frowns on such diversity, as being a bit myopic. Surely we all benefit from those with more colourful interests?  

 

As for 'sharing' with the family, I think you may already have identified a potential ally. Surely a discreet wink here or there might with some deft subterfuge, confirm the potential for a (quite literally) kindred spirit? How amazing would that be! :D

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Well, a first for me this morning... Our number two son turned up last night, about two hours before we expected him, and I took my heels off quick. (The same son I mentioned in an earlier post.) This morning I was determined his presence wouldn't make any difference to our household arrangements, so I put my 'work' heels on before leaving the house. I'm almost sure he saw them - he probably noticed my difference in height, if nothing else. He didn't comment, though. I'll be interested to see if there are any repercussions - I don't think he'd mention it on Facebook...!

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On 05/08/2016 at 11:22 AM, Russ in boots said:

 I don't think he'd mention it on Facebook...!

I would hope he would speak to you first ....

If I have the right son, maybe arrange a visit by his girlfriend, with/without him. If he's shared it with anyone, he will have shared it with her... ;)

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I haven't seen either of them since then. I also wore them a couple of weeks ago when a mutual friend/work colleague came to lunch. I know he saw them as we had lunch in the garden and I was wobbling a bit on the lawn, but nothing was said, and there was no change in his attitude to me.

A bit of an embarrassment last week when the 18-year-old son of a friend was helping me sort out a rotting portacabin and he unearthed some 3.5 inch cowboy boots I'd forgotten about. I was able to explain to him that I wear them for the sake of my back, and thanked him for finding them. I think he might have bought that one. However, a couple of days later he found a pair of six-inch platform sandals... He presented them to my wife, to her considerable embarrassment, as you may imagine. I didn't say anything more to him, and he went home the next day. The shit hit the fan in the bedroom that evening, as you may imagine! I agreed to get rid of my stilettos (or the ones she knows about!) but still have my man-mode heels and wear them all day most days. I had 3.5 inch wedges on the whole time the kid was with us.

Now, will Mummy and Daddy and brother get to know about my little interest? We just wait to find out!

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23 hours ago, Russ in boots said:

I haven't seen either of them since then. I also wore them a couple of weeks ago when a mutual friend/work colleague came to lunch. I know he saw them as we had lunch in the garden and I was wobbling a bit on the lawn, but nothing was said, and there was no change in his attitude to me.

I had in mind, you might invite her over on some dodgy pretext, like asking what you might buy your son for a birthday or Christmas present .... ?

 

23 hours ago, Russ in boots said:

A bit of an embarrassment last week when the 18-year-old son of a friend was helping me sort out a rotting portacabin and he unearthed some 3.5 inch cowboy boots I'd forgotten about. I was able to explain to him that I wear them for the sake of my back, and thanked him for finding them. I think he might have bought that one. However, a couple of days later he found a pair of six-inch platform sandals... He presented them to my wife, to her considerable embarrassment, as you may imagine. I didn't say anything more to him, and he went home the next day. The shit hit the fan in the bedroom that evening, as you may imagine! I agreed to get rid of my stilettos (or the ones she knows about!) but still have my man-mode heels and wear them all day most days. I had 3.5 inch wedges on the whole time the kid was with us.

Now, will Mummy and Daddy and brother get to know about my little interest? We just wait to find out!

While I have enough pairs of heels to not be fully aware of every style I own, I'm always aware of where they are. Always.

Given you were wearing 3½ inch wedges during your guest's visit, and he found another pair you owned up to wearing as well, chances are he knew the (stripper) heels were also yours. Decorum (face-saving for you both) meant he had to give them to your wife. I have had a similar reaction to my heels at the local cobblers. He kindly refers to my shoes as 'hers', but I'm 100% sure he knows they are mine. Saves us both a bit of awkwardness, though sometimes it might be easier if I just blurted out the shoes were mine. Maybe not so easy for him, so the size 8's are "hers" as well as the size 6's I take in there. 

 

On balance, I would suggest these are not the innocent accidents they seem? You might be remiss enough to 'forget' a pair of boots hidden somewhere almost derelict, but a second pair? You seem too intelligent to be that .... inept? ;) Maybe you are too busy to keep track, in which case you need a better 'system' to control your ... ahemm .... 'hobby' investments. Or are you looking to come out as a high heel wearer to everyone you have contact with? :huh: You certainly have pushed the heels agenda significantly further than I have, and I'm not exactly at the back of the queue for getting it out there.

Your good lady wife must be getting close to having to draw a line under your heeling activities. Here at Maison Freddy, there is reluctant acceptance, but I'm very careful I don't ruffle feathers if it's avoidable. My pointy-pointy M+S boots are saved for busy places where the points aren't overly visible to others, but I STILL get comments from Mrs Freddy every time I wear them. (Brent Cross last Sunday for example.) I try to make light of it so both of us aren't too uncomfortable. As she would prefer me in less pointy shoes, I generally oblige. We never meet people we know with me in a heel. Many of my older girl-friends and one or two male friends know, but few have seen me out in them. I honestly believe me coming out as gay would be more socially acceptable than being a high-heel wearer. A gay-couple I know (through my walking friend) even take the piss out of my high-heel wearing....

I'm lucky at home, in that I have plenty of shoe storage. Most of my 'extra' shoes are in bins that are the same shape as the bins I use for clothing. But Mrs Freddy is fairly confident I've lots of shoes (I mostly don't wear). I seldom wear a heel in the house, and the single exception is some boots I cut the shaft off, that I wear to help me reach the upper corners of walls when I'm decorating. Put another way, Mrs Freddy isn't getting constant reminders I'm into wearing a heel, and when she is reminded, it's generally when we are doing something entertaining as a couple. Even more succinctly, I keep her exposure to my heel wearing on a positive note. B)   This isn't a lecture BTW, it's me offering a benchmark that works here;) :D

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I agree it was careless but have you REALLY never left heels somewhere you shouldn't have? ;-)

She's OK enough with me in heels to accompany me in them so long as they are masculine-ish styles. Funnily enough she's fine with a pair of boots I think are too pointy. They're block heeled cowboy boots and otherwise very subtle and very easy to walk in. Her main question was what heels I'd be happy to be seen in by visitors.

My 'pushing' of my heels is because I resent being dictated to by convention that says women can wear anything they like but men are perverts/gay/weird if they wear anything outside the strict 'norm' as determined by so-called society. I don't want to offend family or close friends but couldn't care less what other people think - I used to be afraid of being laughed at, but why should I worry about that? What about all these teenagers with colossal holes in their ear lobes? I think they're gross, but would I laugh openly when I see them? I hope not - it's their freedom of expression, just like heels for me. I'm just slowly trying to introduce the thought of me in heels to people a bit closer. My reason, apart from liking them, is that they are a miracle cure for backache, which I get after just a couple of minutes of standing in flat shoes.

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2 hours ago, Russ in boots said:

I agree it was careless but have you REALLY never left heels somewhere you shouldn't have? ;-)

Once, in a place of work, but I returned for them 10 minutes later. ;)

 

2 hours ago, Russ in boots said:

She's OK enough with me in heels to accompany me in them so long as they are masculine-ish styles. Funnily enough she's fine with a pair of boots I think are too pointy. They're block heeled cowboy boots and otherwise very subtle and very easy to walk in. Her main question was what heels I'd be happy to be seen in by visitors.

I'm liking the sound of that. Mrs Freddy remarks EVERY time I put on my M+S pointed boots.

 

2 hours ago, Russ in boots said:

My 'pushing' of my heels is because I resent being dictated to by convention that says women can wear anything they like but men are perverts/gay/weird if they wear anything outside the strict 'norm' as determined by so-called society. I don't want to offend family or close friends but couldn't care less what other people think - I used to be afraid of being laughed at, but why should I worry about that? What about all these teenagers with colossal holes in their ear lobes? I think they're gross, but would I laugh openly when I see them? I hope not - it's their freedom of expression, just like heels for me. I'm just slowly trying to introduce the thought of me in heels to people a bit closer. My reason, apart from liking them, is that they are a miracle cure for backache, which I get after just a couple of minutes of standing in flat shoes.

Other than curing a back problem (I don't currently have) we might both be "on the same page" as far as it being socially acceptable for men to wear what they like when they like.

Around 4 or 5 months ago I did a 'sexual orientation' test I saw mentioned on a cross-dressing site (someone I know used to post there). Curious about this test, I took it. While it's not a definitive 100% 'scientifically' supported test, it does seems to be associated with accuracy. The outcome of my answers, was that I'm a bit androgynous. Meaning, some aspects of my personality have either both components of each sex, or neither components. This surprised me, though not the two people I mentioned it to. I suspect they have read more into my shoe style than I do, and had already taken their assumptions a bit further than I had. Doesn't mean they were wrong, but had assumed from my shoes, long nails and genteel demeanour, that I was already somewhere in the 'middle-lane' where I actually saw myself closer to the first lane. The 'test' sort of confirms I'm more in the middle than I gave myself credit for too. 

 

I am disappointed about men in heels still being such a shocker in 2016. As I mentioned elsewhere, coming out as being gay, seems a lot more acceptable than a man wearing a high heeled shoe. I watch men kissing in public (not porno, but affectionate), holding hands, and the same (even more often) being a couple. No one takes a second look. A man in a heel, it's almost like; "stop the presses - new headline" ..... :rolleyes: 

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10 hours ago, Russ in boots said:

...  She's OK enough with me in heels to accompany me in them so long as they are masculine-ish styles. Funnily enough she's fine with a pair of boots I think are too pointy. They're block heeled cowboy boots and otherwise very subtle and very easy to walk in. Her main question was what heels I'd be happy to be seen in by visitors. ...

 

7 hours ago, FastFreddy2 said:

... I'm liking the sound of that. Mrs Freddy remarks EVERY time I put on my M+S pointed boots. ...

Why is it that some women (my wife included) dislike men in pointed shoes/boots, even though they have often been a male fashion, and are still available for men?   They are certainly not an 'exclusively-female' fashion (as some will argue high heels are, or should be), yet seem to rankle.

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4 hours ago, Puffer said:

Why is it that some women (my wife included) dislike men in pointed shoes/boots, even though they have often been a male fashion, and are still available for men?   

Do they know? Mrs Freddy would say a pointed toe on a shoe looks feminine. But as I confirmed to her recently, my favourite (mens) shoes of all time, were a pair I owned in my twenties with pointed toes. In a UK7 too, back in my 8½ stone days. :(

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7 hours ago, FastFreddy2 said:

Do they know? Mrs Freddy would say a pointed toe on a shoe looks feminine. But as I confirmed to her recently, my favourite (mens) shoes of all time, were a pair I owned in my twenties with pointed toes. In a UK7 too, back in my 8½ stone days. :(

Yes, it is likely that some (younger) women will not remember or be aware that pointed toes were very much a unisex fashion (late-50s - mid-60s) and, whilst they have never really disappeared on female shoes, have again been fashionable (but not nearly so universal) on men's shoes during the last 10 years or so.   My wife is well aware of their history and her firm association of men's 'winklepickers' with the 1960s makes them, in her view, both old-fashioned (and therefore unacceptable currently) for a man, especially one of my 'mature years'.   She finds it hard to understand my nostalgic appreciation of anything that is not recent or current (fashion; black and white films; steam railways; lead-based paint ...) and tries to avoid same.

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16 hours ago, Puffer said:

She finds it hard to understand my nostalgic appreciation of anything that is not recent or current (fashion; black and white films; steam railways; lead-based paint ...) and tries to avoid same.

I doubt there's anything that could be called 'original fashion'. Newer (stretch) materials have led to better fitting styles, but almost everything has a history, rather than being completely innovative. Dame Vivienne Westwood admits to building her career on it.

Same is true of black and white films. One that took 7 BAFTA's and 5 Oscars in 2012, and a shed load more, was The Artist. (Loud intro.)

Not sure about lead paint, but I'd like to have access to some old fashioned (high VOC) brilliant white gloss, and some emulsion that when dry, didn't wash off with a damp cloth. (I remember emulsion paint drying on glass and being the very devil to clean off. Not any longer.) And don't get me started on light bulbs (though rough service bulbs do provide some respite).

 

I think the bottom line to this, is that people don't much like anything they aren't familiar with. :huh: As my photography tutor taught us.

 

 

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I am familiar with new technology and fashions but generally, or at least often,  prefer the old - my bicycles are classic tourers with lugged steel frames and leather saddles, I enjoy black-and-white films and photos (although I happily shoot digital) I like old cars and planes and the simplicity of an earlier gentler age. I do not feel any need for change simply for the sake of it, because one can.

I know winklepickers were in vogue during the 1960s although they never appealed to me and still don't. I am not a pointy shoes fan. But I can most definitely appreciate the nostalgic appeal They exert on others. Not a thing wrong with liking them or wearing them.

Indeed, fashion does go in circles. I miss the more colourful styles and permissive atmosphere of the late 60s, early 70s myself

Edited by Shyheels

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10 hours ago, Shyheels said:

I am familiar with new technology and fashions but generally, or at least often,  prefer the old -

Surely you mean "classic" rather than old? ;)

 

Quote

Indeed, fashion does go in circles. I miss the more colourful styles and permissive atmosphere of the late 60s, early 70s myself

Hippy? :D

The first generation of a post-war era. They witnessed regeneration and investment in infrastructure not seen in the UK (since the Roman visit 2000 years before). New social housing created on an industrial scale, new towns and new manufacturing built to support the increase in commerce. A time when young people thought the world a great place, where social migration was easily achieved by those who wanted it. Jobs a plenty. Government money providing a world-leading health service that was free to those that needed it most. If ever there was a point when Utopia was within sight, it was then.

In the mid-sixties, science and fashion forecasters thought we'd all be wearing lycra based catsuits that showed off our perfectly formed slim/fit bodies, results of better eating and moderate exercise. Both results of the anticipated continued increases in the 'quality of living'. The forecasters did not anticipate personal entertainment centres (phones/tablets/video consoles) that would keep the populace hooked to their wifi connection, nor the advent of cheap easily available fat-foods. This two-part combination keeping the would-be lithe millennials, too fat for lycra catsuits to be anything other than unattractive.

My 'fav' period during the last century, would be the late 40's early 50's. Everyone skinny (unless you worked in a canteen or a butchers). Women in long tight pencil skirts, heels, nipped in waist with wide belt, tight blouse with pointed bits, heavy eyeliner, and red-lipstick.

I think I need to lie down ..... :huh:

 

 59905090d283b_Pencilskirtwithheels.jpg.8017b01fa65c3d731c5d31d3f66c9346.jpg

599050a7593b7_Pencilskirtwithcinchedwaist.thumb.jpeg.9c859f33f220049f988402a6cd33781b.jpeg

 

And an image by the greatest fashion photographer ever: John French.

 

599052bfdd692_JohnFrench--barbara-goalen-dress-lily-schroter-1951-photo-john-french.thumb.jpg.0c274169e655184337571f7abbdbc760.jpg

Edited by FastFreddy2
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Yes, I was a bit of a hippy - flares, paisley, Jesus shirts, bandanas, badges, sandals, the works. I liked the bright colours and garrish combinations and general floppiness. My mother, who had been a fashion model in the 40s and 50s, didn't care for the style at all. I have vivid memories of her when I was quite young and she would still be dressing in very chic 50s styles, and of course I had seen photos and magazine clippings of her taken before I was born. Even then I had to concede the elegance and stylishness of those fashions.

The Lycra/spandex catsuits never really arrived, did they? Other than on Catwoman in Batman... I must say, she carried them off nicely.

Probably just as well the catsuit never became the fashion - there would be very few figures in this obese age of ours who could carry off a catsuit.

I always fancied tall boots, but never ones with pointy toes - nothing pointier than almond shaped, really. But I always did like the knee and otk boots that women wore and wished they were allowed for men. It took me to my fifties to dare to wear them...

 

Edited by Shyheels

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4 hours ago, Shyheels said:

The Lycra/spandex catsuits never really arrived, did they? Other than on Catwoman in Batman... I must say, she carried them off nicely.

I tried to find some reasonable quality images from Buck Rogers, and couldn't find anything other than low quality screen shots.

UFO and Space 1999 were British contenders for the 'close fitting' clothing prediction. 

 

Quote

Probably just as well the catsuit never became the fashion - there would be very few figures in this obese age of ours who could carry off a catsuit.

It's been some time since I've seen a body that would suit a catsuit, with the possible exception of Bella Thorne. 

 

2A81DCBD00000578-3160197-image-m-45_1436

2B6BF68E00000578-3200311-Statuesque_Bell

 

Both these pictures were taken a couple of years ago when she was 17.

 

2DBFFA8500000578-3288422-image-a-9_14457

 

This one when she was 18.

 

3506EB2600000578-3630193-image-a-121_146

 

Not sure when this was taken.

 

She currently has over 26M followers on social media.

Sadly, she now has piercings that include her septum, which I always see as excess liquid dripping ... :(  

 

 

Edited by FastFreddy2
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Again my ignorance - who she?

She certainly has the sort of figure that could wear anything well. I like her boots and jeans very much - it's a nice look, although for myself I would have my jumper a bit longer. I do like the boots though. Again, in my case, I would have those a little shorter. But all said, she looks very nice.

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16 minutes ago, Shyheels said:

Again my ignorance - who she?

AFAIK, an actress. (In old parlance.) Think they are all called 'actors' now, regardless of sex. :rolleyes:

She's been seen doing some PR work at places like Comic-Con so she's certainly done some voice work. Other than that, she's becoming increasingly unwise in her choice of clothing. "Grunge" suits no-one. 

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No, grunge is not a nice look. I do like her boots, jeans and jumper ensemble though. Perhaps she'll outgrow grunge and return to chic.

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I just looked her up. As I had imagined she has appeared in nothing I have ever seen or heard of, but I see where she has signed a book deal to write novels - nineteen year olds have so much insight into the human condition so I am sure the literary world has a real treat in store.

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5 hours ago, FastFreddy2 said:

...

My 'fav' period during the last century, would be the late 40's early 50's. Everyone skinny (unless you worked in a canteen or a butchers). Women in long tight pencil skirts, heels, nipped in waist with wide belt, tight blouse with pointed bits, heavy eyeliner, and red-lipstick.

I think I need to lie down ..... :huh:

 

 59905090d283b_Pencilskirtwithheels.jpg.8017b01fa65c3d731c5d31d3f66c9346.jpg

 

I agree totally with the 'ideal female outfit' you describe, as exemplified by the pic above.   But I think your period is a little out; whilst it started with Dior's 'new look' in 1947, it was not really everyday/high-street fashion until roughly the time when stilettos truly arrived in the mid-50s (and thereby completed the ensemble).   I'm pleased to say that I was around then and very conscious of my surroundings; imho, the 'golden years' closely matched those of the rock-and-roll era: say 1956 - 1964.   In other words, from when Bill Haley etc arrived and until the Beatles etc became too hippy and psychedelic (and Mary Quant's mini skirts and low heels had gained the upper hand, and thigh).   OK, not all women abandoned the classic look you describe (thank goodness) but it became all too rare by the mid-60s, when I came of an age to truly appreciate it but scarcely to enjoy it, alas.   If I could turn the clock back to, say, 1962 and be there again but 10 years older than I then actually was, I would be delighted - and want to stay.

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It was also the era when tall boots came into fashion in a big way, helped along in no small part by Nancy Sinatra's saucy song

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2 hours ago, Puffer said:

But I think your period is a little out; whilst it started with Dior's 'new look' in 1947, it was not really everyday/high-street fashion until roughly the time when stilettos truly arrived in the mid-50s (and thereby completed the ensemble). 

I think you need to re-read my post? MY fav period was late 40's to early 50's, which would have included anything from around 1946 upto around 1954, but I did not specify stiletto's anyway - only heels. Your fav period can be the later years if you have chosen them to be. B) 

The picture shown in my post and yours, is a modern copy of a style. Those shoes look like a fairly modern product.

Edited by FastFreddy2

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Whatever year marker you want to out on it, I do think the arrival of stilettos ushered in a (literally) heightened sense of glamour 

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