Man Wearing Heels

[FastFreddy2 282]

I've enjoyed the feel of wearing heels since before I was 8. [Exact dates, difficult at my age. ]

Later, when I went from boy to man, I realised I really enjoyed both wearing heels, and seeing them worn. Since I'm not stunningly attractive, I've always thought clothes and personality were as least as important as basic looks. And looks (for me) didn't need to go much further than 'clean and tidy'. For a girlfriend, tidy with a bit of makeup maybe perfume, always a plus.

My then girlfriend bought me some high heeled shoes somewhere around 1984 I think. After that, I bought myself a couple of pairs too, and the two of us went out with me in heels to [mostly] fetish clubs. We did go to some mainstream clubs, but Boy George was regularly on TV/in the music charts/on the front cover of most womens magazines, so the androgynous look was not so unusual. Wearing high heels was very natural for me. I don't mean I'd gotten plenty of practice, but I put them on and walked 'gracefully' like you might expect a girl to. I could [can] straighten my legs while wearing them, and to a degree, sway my hips in higher heels. [Just like girls do.]

Jump forward 25+ years.

It had been some time since I had worn heels. I still had my older shoes boxed and stored at home, but they never saw daylight. My feet had grown [as had my weight] so they weren't that comfortable anyway. [They were all a small 7 except the silly high ones which were a 7 1/2.]

One drunken New Years Eve, I'd gotten in my head I wanted to wear heels. When we got home (me somewhat the worse for wear still) I put on a pair of Mrs Freddy's size 6 reject ankle boots, and went out walking. I had to be a bit careful as there were other revellers out, and I was walking around the streets I lived close to. I got home just before daybreak, and quite sober. I hadn't realised, but the shoes had cut my skin and I still bear the scar from that night.

Within weeks I'd bought some new heels, and wore them at home and out late at night. They were both stunning to look at, very tight stretchy OTK boots that were quite cheap, but were just wonderful to wear. I bought several pairs, and wore out the first pair in about 6 weeks. They were never meant to be used as hiking boots around poorly maintained pavement.

I was lucky in that within two months I'd found HHplace and went to the World Heel Meet [WHM] in London. I walked in broad daylight, from a car park close by, to the venue in 4 1/2" heels. When I walked back, I stood around and next to a family group, and no one spotted my heels.

A few weeks later, I went to a shopping Mall in some 4" rubber wedge heels. I was very self aware, and spent a lot of time looking for those who might be looking at me. I got 'noticed' by one or two women, but no finger pointing and no loud ridicule. The rubber heels were very quiet, and drew no attention. I returned to the Mall regularly, always in heels.

More recently my love of heels has waned. I've had personal health pressures, a newly acquired home to deal with so poorly built it needs knocking down and rebuilding..... Too many funerals in the last two years...... My taste in heels has matured a little too. At the time of the WHM it was stiletto heels or nothing. I now wear block heels during the day as they are much less likely to draw attention while out. If it's dark out, I'll be in high-ish stiletto's, most with fairly thin heels. Despite the real threat of them going into cracked pavements.

I've been out locally in heels at night with varying success. Noise from heels being the main point of interest to those I'd sooner weren't noticing. [i have a particularly quiet time and place in mind.]

More often than not I'm wearing heels in noisy/busy venues were people are usually too wrapped up in themselves to notice my footwear. Sometimes I'll walk where it's not busy or noisy at all, and I just carry on as before. My venues are selected. I have, despite my reduced interest, a continuing pledge to myself that I'll wear heels every and any time I can. I've probably lost 30+ years of heel wearing, and do not want that number to increase. Health and opportunity will make my heel wearing career short enough.

In the past, when I was an active member of HHplace, I spent a lot of time enthusing fellow heel wearers to try to wear heels out when they could. I often tried to get groups together to walk out in heels, usually in darkness, though not always so. It's my belief that we all do stuff that is 'normal' for us. I've managed to see wearing girls shoes as normal, or more accurately, "usual". I possibly haven't changed the attitude of a single other person [ie woman] about it, though I've now several people I meet who don't bat an eye when they see me wearing heels, I'm hoping to increase the number as time goes on.

There has never been a time in my life I've felt compelled to do something, and not done it. True, there haven't been many of these, but I don't feel frustrated at not being able to do something I want to do. [Living to be 200 years old is likely going to defeat me though. ]

For this reason, I've never understood why anyone else would be any different? I'm not being hard arsed about this, I just think our lives are too short to not indulge a core interest. Only yesterday, I was talking to Mrs Freddy about Mr Freddy's funeral arrangements, and what shoes I'm going to wearing in my box. Apparently I've got to sort that one out myself, but it is on the agenda to do.

With few exceptions, the "life's too short not to" motivation doesn't appear to have an effect on men who are interested in wearing heels. [Maybe not until their later 'mid life crisis' perhaps?] I'd have to say I've always felt this pressure, since my first 'near miss' in a car accident..... Certainly for me, the thought of being too old or sick to change how I live my life is a constant pressure to live the life I want, rather than lead the life I'd like to have. [The optional parts obviously. Few of us could afford to live on a cruiser sailing around the Mediterranean for most of the year.]

I'm evangelising about the benefits of wearing heels obviously, while [still] being fit enough to do it I suppose, and using some of the detail of my own personal journey to illustrate it.

So far, even when I've been clearly spotted wearing heels, there's been very very very little adverse reaction. This won't be the case for everyone in every situation, but it would seem the first hurdle [of several] to wearing heels out, is ourselves. Building our lifestyle to accept that wearing heels in public, is normal [usual], is probably the biggest hurdle. This will be because we are are all more comfortable doing things we are familiar with, being places we are familiar with, so less comfortable doing anything for the first time. Or uncomfortable until the change becomes the regular/normal thing to be doing. Has the opportunity to wear heels out lessened the excitement/pleasure of wearing them for me? Possibly a tad, but I still feel wearing heels out is a pleasure I don't want to lose. I just love wearing a heeled shoe.

Lastly, I'd say it's got to be easier having a partner who can be supportive in an outdoor adventure, by encouraging or better yet, by taking part. But taking part is a big ask of most women, it's an act of bravery difficult for some men.

Good luck to you all.

Anyway, the pep talk is over.

Reason for edit: Grammar.

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Edited January 24, 2012 by FastFreddy2

[shyguy 15]

Interesting and motivating post Freddy. You have been instrumental in getting me to wear heels more often although that waned recently, but I recently wore my heeled boots dog walking for the first time in months.

I keep on getting that nagging feeling that I need to live "my" life now as I'm getting older and it's nagging me more that time isn't hanging around. There's always plenty of excuses still though. I still want to try on shoes / boots in the shop openly and wear heels more as part of "living MY life" maybe time to stop waiting for acceptance from the wife though.

[FastFreddy2 282]

Interesting and motivating post Freddy. You have been instrumental in getting me to wear heels more often although that waned recently, but I recently wore my heeled boots dog walking for the first time in months.

Goodo.

I'd suggest looking back in time..... Had a lot of stresses over the past few months? Maybe getting you to take your eye off the 'me' ball? Certainly the case in my life. Makes justifying, or even planning some pleasure time, pretty difficult.

I used to say to couples struggling to keep themselves on an even keel, that they each needed some 'me' time, and possibly one afternoon, or one day a month should be a minimum. That's families with 3 or 4 children included. My feeling is, we all need some 'unstress' time, a reward for the other 29 days if you will.

Even now I can [still] hold the attention of 3 children long enough to allow their parents some [probably much needed] time off. It isn't that hard for a short period. [ie a day.] Surely, if parents prefer their day off together, someone like me [but not me...] could fill in for a while? What I'm suggesting is, 'personal interests' aside, I believe we all of us need some pleasure space.

A good friends wife sees that as a newspaper and a glass of red wine. She loves to read, and enjoys [literally] a glass of wine. Mrs Freddy prefers visiting close family [daughter, grandson]. Me ...... shopping for, looking at, wearing, heels/taking photo's etc.

There's no point in having a life, if you can't do some living, after all?

As for 'acceptance', I think you'll need a workaround for that. It probably is just too much .... As a reminder, I still wouldn't wear heels [yet] at a family get-together. Too many problems for Mrs Freddy. Luckily that while I still get out a bit, my indulgence in public is kept away from my family. [Though my mother not only knows, but spent last Sunday with me in heels at Brent Cross on a day out for her 83rd birthday.] I don't know what the solution will be for you ..... But you are right to recognise, time waits for no man....

I'm nearly always up for a meet ..... Wanna join me on one of my Thursday evening jaunts around the West End? hh4evr1 went there and found the place so entertaining, he bought some Louboutins! Probably not going to happen with any visit I might make, nor with anyone I might be with ..... ["You're NEVER going to spend that much money on shoes, SURELY?" would be heard through the store. ]

Maybe think to plan a threesome with the other fella who shares your name?

.....

[Ludovic 4]

Nice story, that was a good read Freddy.

I totally agree that in this day and age, with all our very busy lifes, one must find a way to think about themselves.

[FastFreddy2 282]

I totally agree that in this day and age, with all our very busy lifes, one must find a way to think about themselves.

Hmmm.

The notion conveyed [mine] doesn't read that well, does it ......

I think the way to look at it [a more quotable summary] might be ..... We [men] need to be careful we don't lose sight of our own needs and desires, when trying to respond to everyone elses? It's just too easy to get wrapped up [stuck in the rut] of everyday life. And forget what our raison d'etre might otherwise be.

When I sailed through my 20's and 30's, there was always time next year. But I'm running out of years .... Worse, I've friends who ran out of years, suddenly. I'm beginning to realise, I need to be doing something now. And I mean right now. Not next week, nor next Monday, not even tomorrow. But today, right now.

If ever there was a truism, it's "I wish I knew then, what I know now." My feet would be all messed up having spent 20+ years wearing heels. And I wouldn't regret a moment, nor the pain I'd be suffering with them today. If I'm laid in my box without wearing everything out, I haven't tried hard enough.

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[heelman500 25]

Well Freddy, I think you have summed up the dilemma for all of us....... "Heeling" is not something that you can just give up or put aside, I know from personal experience, so here I am again up to "My old tricks" as Mrs Heelman would put it (If she knew it was back on the agenda!)

I think that you have to be selfish as you do only live once and tempus fugit as the old saying goes.

I have come to a personal decision about my heeling, and as Mrs Heelman is still extremely recalitrant at actually finding gainful employment and I am working like mad to pay all the bills etc... then a little me time doing what I want is in order! I know that she is NOT going to be impressed when she does eventually find out but hey ho

I think that on the acceptance front with strangers, more and more people are just not noticing or caring... for example I had a couple of hours free on Wednesday and I had a wander around Debenhams in Preston and Evans and tried on several pairs of heels.... all the while wearing my work uniform and no one seemed to worry. I bought a pair of heeled open toe sandals! not going to get much out door use of these unless I really want to make a statement.....

I also went into New look the following day and it is mega winter to spring sale time... got a pair of cork wedges (Again not suitable for everyday use! but ready for our fancy dress do!!!!) and a pair of black patent stilettos (Picture attached). Now these I can wear with a decent pair of jeans... and may be tempted to next time I go out and about on a meet

If anyone is looking for some new heels then New Look is the place.... all the new stock is out on display and they have plenty of upto size 9 / 43 available

Happy Shopping

[FastFreddy2 282]

I think that you have to be selfish as you do only live once and tempus fugit as the old saying goes.

Had to look up your Latin quote. You obviously went to a better school.

I dunno I could agree "selfish", as for me that seems to infer putting myself first at the cost of those around me? I probably do have my moments, but I don't mean to. I would suggest a more agreeable term might be: "not being so selfless" from time to time? As always I have concerns about a bit of self indulgence driving a wedge between people in what would otherwise be a successful relationship. That said, if ever I were given the ultimatum "It's me or the heels?" I'm not sure I'm capable of making the right decision for us, rather than the right decision for me.

During the course of this morning, I had a need to dig out some of the clothes I'd buried a year ago before I started this rebuilding project. To get to them I had to wade through boxes (and boxes) of shoes I'd also stored. Must of lost an hour trying on pairs I hadn't seen for a while......

Mrs Freddy is always saying 'there'll be time tomorrow'. Does she think we'll live to be 150, and still be active?

Memento mori.

......

[FastFreddy2 282]

I've not been out much recently. The building site [aka Home] is wearing me out, plus money is short. [And fuel is £1.40 a litre! ]

It was Mrs Freddy's birthday at the weekend. We had a farewell do on Friday, I worked Saturday night, we ate with the family on Sunday, so today was the first time we spent any time together, alone. We both like Bluewater (shopping Mall), and the 60 mile each way journey with toll bridge interlude lets you know you've travelled.

Originally, I was going to buy herself a 16gb Nano iPlayer for a present, so she could listen to music while walking from/to her car on work days. Two weeks ago, our laptop cooked itself, and we need another. At this time the Nano is shelved, but I still thought we should have the day out anyway.

Originally, I wasn't going to bother with heels. It's been a few weeks, and my heart really wasn't in it. Getting ready, my hands had other ideas, and I just followed the usual procedure. Mrs Freddy wasn't expecting anything else and my footwear wasn't subject to any comment at all.

At Bluewater, we must have walked around for close to 5 hours, though we did have a short coffee break. We needed food before returning home, so ate out. We walked back to the car slowly, before driving home, arriving at about 10.30pm. It's close to 1am the following day, and I still have my boots on. [Though off to bed very soon.]

Wearing heels just seems like the most normal/regular thing to do...... [Long may it last.]

.......